| All for One |
| anti-bullying website |
| Who is this website for? This website was created for all those who have ever been bullied, and those who are bullied today, whether at school, at work, in their neighbourhood or even at home. It is for those who have suffered discrimination, verbal or physical abuse or mental cruelty, and who have suffered emotional and actual bodily harm at the hands of others. It is also for those who see others bullied and want to change things for the better. It is dedicated to those who emerged the other side a little beaten but a little stronger, to those who were affected by it so much that they are still suffering today, and also for those who, as a result of the wilful or thoughtless actions of others, are no longer with us. It is for parents, teachers, friends and anyone who cares enough to help. It is also for the bullies, to help them to stop. This website is here to say enough is enough. This website is for everyone, All for One. See all links and support.. WARNING: Some links are unsuitable for younger visitors. They should go to the kids page only. Why does bullying need to be stopped? Bullying cannot be tolerated, anywhere in any form. If it is tolerated it gives the message that it is acceptable, if it is tolerated it will spread. It can even kill. Like a disease it can be stopped. The remedy is simple, zero tolerance. If bullying occurs it must be wiped out immediately, before it can grow and infect others. Children who are taught in an environmernt where bullying is tolerated either see no need to stop it or feel powerless to do so, so they become bullies or become victims. see links and support. WARNING: Some links are unsuitable for younger visitors. They should go to the kids page only. Who are the bullies? It is a myth that bullies are the strong ones. If they were they would not need to bully. They do so to cover their own weakness and mask their own insecurity. They often feel superior by making others feel inferior. They may be physically strong or more aggressive than others, but they feel emotionally strong by attacking those they feel are a threat, those they feel are different or those they feel are weaker. Some mayfeed on fear and it gives them power, power they have to take away from others by force because they have none of their own. This power must be taken away from them. Bullies are often victims themselves, victims of their own fears. Often those who are bullied by others will join them in bullying to turn the attention away from themselves. Or maybe they are victims of abuse at home or elsewhere. They have to make themselves feel better by making others the victim, it gives them control. People who bully the disabled or those with special needs often do so because it is so much easier to attack others who are more vulnerable. Those who bully in the workplace are often the ones who feel they have to assert their power because in truth they have none, so feel insecure and threatened. It is an easy way to feel good about themselves, by abusing their power. There are also the other bullies who do it just for fun. Bullies are vicims too and need help as much as their victims. If you are a bully, please see the links and support we have. Break the cycle before it destroys your life too. If you are unhappy, please tell someone, if you are bullied by others and are scared to stop bullying too in case they hurt you, please get help. Tell your parents, teachers, a relative or friend, anyone who can help you. see all links and support. WARNING: Some links are unsuitable for younger visitors. They should go to the kids page only. Who is bullied? Anyone can be bullied. It could be that a bully will pick you becuse you are physically smaller than them, more intelligent or less intelligent, wear a different hairstyle or clothes, are from a different race or religion or like different music. The list is endless. A bully picks their victims often at random, maybe because you are just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or maybe because you react in a certain way when they attack a group. It doesn't mean you are weak or inferior. Victims of bullying often blame themselves, if only they had done, or said or worn something different. It would have made no difference because it is not your fault. see all links and support. WARNING: Some links are unsuitable for younger visitors. They should go to the kids page only. What can be done if you are bullied? There are five important steps that can help: 1. Tell someone: * if you are at school tell an adult, a parent, guardian, other family member, teacher or school counsellor, or even a neighbour. Someone approachable you can trust. If you feel you cannot tell someone you know, then ring one of the helplines listed at the botom of this page, they are trained people who can help you. But DO NOT suffer alone in silence. You ARE NOT alone, there are thousands like you, people who have been through it too and want to help you. This WILL NOT just go away, it is not a sign of weakness to admit to it but the first step in fighting back, because you are stronger than they are. Let someone help you to do that, to make them stop. see Teens and Kids links and support. WARNING: Teen and Adult links are unsuitable for younger visitors. They should go to the kids page only. * If you are at work, tell a friend or colleague at work, report it to a superior or union representative. Even if your boss is the bully, steps can be taken to stop them. see Adult links and support. 2. Don't face them alone: *If at school or college, try to make sure you are never alone with the bully or their friends. Get a friend to walk home with you, or ask a parent or older brother or sister or even neighbour to meet you. If the bully is someone in your neighbourhood, change your route home or take a bus, or ask an adult to collect you. REMEMBER - Don't fight back, this will make things worse. If possible, walk away. see Kids and Teens links and support. WARNING:Teen links are unsuitable for younger visitors. They should go to the kids page only. * If you are at work, sit by someone at lunch, try not to be isolated during the day. Change your daily routine to avoid them and be around others. Bullies don't like witnesses, they are cowards who don't want to be caught. They count on your isolation, take that away from them. see Adults links and support. WARNING: Adult links are unsuitable for younger visitors. They should go to the kids page only. 3. Keep a record: *Keep a diary of incidents of bullying, whether verbal, emotional or physical with dates, times and places and note any witnesses. This can be used as evidence against them. 4. Make it official: *If you are at school or college, you or your parents can lodge an official complaint with the school or the local authority. Also inform the police if you have been attacked physically or threatened. Give copies of the evidence, making sure to keep one for yourself. *If at work, adults can do so with thieir employer, most companies have policies to cover bullying, and trade unions can help. Also inform the police if you have been attacked physically or threatened. Give copies of the evidence, making sure to keep one for yourself. 5. Get support: It is most likely that there are others who have also been bullied by the same person or people, or by others if there is an atmosphere where bullying is tolerated. Ask them to help you, and to keep their own evidence. Stop the bullies together. see support... And NEVER GIVE UP on yourself... |
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| UK HELPLINES |
| Samaritans: 08457 90 90 90 |
| Parentplus: 0808 800 2222 |
| Childline: 0800 11 11 |
| Victim Support: 0845 30 30 900 |
| What can be done by parents? Believe your child A child who is bullied needs, above all, to be believed, to be told that it is not their fault and that it will stop. Support your child Show them that you are there for them, that you will help them to fight the bullying. Let them see that you will not tolerate anyone hurting your child. Go to the school, talk your child's teacher, head teacher/principal. Tell them what has happened, allow them time to investigate but let them know that this has to stop NOW and that you want to know what they are going to do to prevent it happening again. Schools act in your place in caring for your child, you have a right to feel your child is safe in their care and your child has the right to be safe at school. Schools have a policy to govern situations like these, ask for a copy and make sure they follow the procedures listed. Keep a diary of incidents of bullying (verbal, physical and emotional, all can be equally as damaging), and take a copy to show them. Take your child to school Accompany them to school and collect them from school if possible, or try to make sure another responsible adult is able to do so, if you are not. Collect them at lunchtime If practical to do so, collect your child for lunch so that they are safe at lunchtime, if this is the time that bullying takes place, even as a temporary measure allowing the school time to investigate and act. Children often dread this time of day. Give them the security of knowing they will not have to face it alone. Go to the police If a serious physical assault has taken place it is a criminal offence, no matter how young the children involved. But most of all.....TAKE ACTION. see Parents' links and support . WARNING: Some links are unsuitable for younger visitors. They should go to the kids page only. |
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| What can be done by teachers? Listen to the children You may be the first person a child tells if they feel they are bullied. They trust you and look up to you. Don't ignore or dismiss their claims, even if you feel the incidents may be accidental or untintentional. Many may be, many are not. There is bullying in all schools, the differences lie in the way it is dealt with. Take action You have a duty to protect the children in your care from emotional distress and physical harm, so every incident should be investigated fully and reported to the head teacher/principal and parents, and records should be kept. Follow procedures All schools should have procedures in place to deal with bullying; please ensure you follow them to ensure the safety of your students at all times. Zero tolerance Let all the children in your care see that bullying will not be tolerated in your class or elsewhere in your school, in any way, by anyone. Send the message that your classroom is a place of safety and friendship. Help your pupils to grow up confident and happy, and to enjoy school, not fear it. Help the bully Those who bully will often need help to stop them doing it and become caring members of your class, your duty is to help them too. Punishment will not help them. They may need behaviour or anger management, or other intervention. Please help them to get the help they need, they are members of your class and under your care too. Help yourself Teachers can also be victims of bullying, by other staff members, superiors and even victims of agression and intimidation by pupils. Don't be embarrassed to seek help. Report it immediately to the head teacher, keep a diary and make sure it is dealt with. If your superior is the bully, go higher. If physically attacked or threatened, contact the police. Help is available. You are not to blame and you are not alone. see Schools links and support. WARNING: Some links are unsuitable for younger visitors. They should go to the kids page only. |
| Please let me know of any others in the UK or overseas and I will add them. |
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| "Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. " Harvey Fierstein |
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| DISCLAIMER Please note: all information given here is personal opinion. We accept no liability for actions taken. Links are for reference only, to be used at the reader's own discretion. |
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| Home Educating your child If all else fails and school becomes intolerable for your child, you have the legal right to wihdraw them and educate at home, if that is practical, possible, and suitable for your child and yourself. Many have found this to be the better option, as a child is not likely to learn if they feel unhappy, unsafe and insecure in their environment, and the happines and emotional wellbeing of a child is the most important thing. There are support groups available to help you, and opportunities for them to make friends. For information on legal implications, finance,curriculum concerns etc .please see the links on Home Educating. |
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| Website by Lacewing Web Design. |
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| This website supports Breast Cancer Awareness |
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| © Alyson Mountjoy 2003 |
| Tulips offer counselling in violence displayed in children towards parents. Tel: 0151 637 6363 |
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