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  • Foreplay Helper
    by Geoff Smullins
    The first two parts of this series on using romance novels to spice up your foreplay, were about how to scan a novel for the good bits -- and find them fast. Then you take these juicy bits into your foreplay by acting them out as you read them out loud. But in addition to the ways a romance novel can add the exotic to your foreplay, a romance novel holds many secrets about a woman's sexual wiring buried in its pages. Here are just a few observations; the attentive partner will find more.

    ---Notice that the heroine is usually won over by a kiss, a kiss with lots of build-up. Even in the spicy book Naughty or Nice it's not the size of the hero's dick that impresses the heroine -- it's his kiss. "He cupped her face in his hands and made love to her with his mouth, gently coaxing her to accept his tongue, sliding inside, tasting her sweetness, heat rifling through his blood as he felt her respond…He twined a fistful of it [her hair] around his hand and tugged, tipping her head farther back so he could explore the hot, moist depths of her mouth more deeply" (26-27, Naughty or Nice).

    --- For a woman, the brain is an erogenous zone. A man reading a romance novel might find it hard to hear beyond words, words, words -- "there's nothing like the real thing" is a man's usual way of looking at it. But a good, hot, sexy paragraph full of sexual tension between the couple, can get a woman wet.

    ---Women can -- not always and not necessarily, but potentially -- take things very slow. Romance novels are to the book industry what porn is to the video industry -- guaranteed sales. There's a reason for that. Romance novels are popular because romance writers get it: build-up. 125 pages worth on average. So reading a romance novel out loud in foreplay can help a guy re-tune his "pacing," change his rhythm.

    --- If you read enough romance novels, you'll start to see that some fantasies keep coming back in many forms. For example, when a woman's sexuality becomes aroused, she "unleashes the beast" in a man. Unleashing the beast is a favorite fantasy, judging from many, many romance novels. But it has a companion fantasy: the woman controls this beast by her sexual power: "That was how a woman like her kept a man enthralled, by being so soft, seductive, and ready to please that a man couldn't help but root his cock deep inside her. Then once she had him by the cock, she led him around by it and he was helpless to escape. Even if he wanted to." (To Pleasure a Prince 306) In another castle/manor book, The Duke's Scandalous Secret by Connie Lane, the lord of the manor (Thomas Ravensfield) starts out distant and cold (not to mention having a reputation as a heartbreaker). But after the couple's love-making scene (and we wait long and hard for that), we're told that the virginal Lynnette "broke down the wall he'd built around his heart and the barriers that made him a part of life and yet held back his emotions" (222). (Sound familiar? It's the erogenous brain of women).

    --- The men of romance novels have a dark side. The hero is often seen as a brute in some way, especially by outsiders who don't understand him the way the heroine does. But the heroine sees beyond the brute, sees his potential, and she "can't control her heart." Hey, in a romance novel, everyone loses control one way or another.

    ---Then she's got to save him, mostly from himself -- and she's the only one who can do this. Women like to be "the only one." The heroine, you will notice, always surpasses all the rest. In The Duke's Scandalous Secret, after they make love, the Duke realizes, "Lynette like any other woman, eh? He had deluded himself into thinking so. Until he realized what he had never realized about any other woman. That he was in love with her" (222). Often the heroine's irreplaceable; the hero needs her in some way. Men who have bumped up against female jealousy have probably seen this "fantasy" at work -- or the reverse fantasy, say when a man compliments another woman's beauty.
    ----------------------------------------------------

    CHOOSING YOUR FOREPLAY ROMANCE

    If you're still shopping for titles to bring to your romance foreplay session, here are a few more tips.
    ---It can't hurt to recap the Golden 125 Rule (covered in both earlier parts of this series) which says: open any romance novel to page 125 and look to see how hot the action is there or thereabouts (try going 5 or 10 pages in either direction if you see nothing on 125). The degree of heat you find at this point will tell you just how sexy the book is overall. If the couple have already had their first kiss and maybe some fondling and finger fucking, you're onto a steamy romance novel. Buy it; take it home; read it and ravish.

    --- Plots with mysteries at their core tend to have more mystery and less sex (Unmasked, mentioned last time, is a notable exception). Killer Curves by Roxanne St. Claire, set in the NASCAR world, has mystery elements. In some ways it feels like it's faster paced and with a bit more action (because of its contemporary setting) than the manor and castle type romances. But the action is not all erotic and compared to some of our earlier choices, this one is a little limp. On page 125, this book is just getting to the first kiss. "He put his hands on her knees, pressing them down gently. Then he closed the space between them and kissed her. She felt her breath catch. Instantly, he deepened the pressure, locking his hand around her neck. She tasted toothpaste and lemon water and felt his tongue dart over her teeth. A spark shot through her. Oh, God. She was on a bed with him." (127-8). Notice these kiss descriptions; they certainly seem to draw from the adage "as the kiss goes, so does the sex."

    ---Wherever the first kiss falls, skip forward about 30 pages to find a more erotically charged version of the act. In Killer Curves, by 163, car driver Beau is asking Celeste if she'd like to have an orgasm. "You can't," she says to him, after explaining that in spite of having had sex with a few men, she'd "never crossed the finish line." "I can," he says to her. It's a great scene; they're both fully clothed. And he's giving her something without asking for anything in return.

    In terms of women and sex, this point is probably crucial. Beau offers to "give" her an orgasm with no strings attached. How rare. And for that, his heroism is sealed. Not that women want sex to be only about their orgasm -- in fact they'd start to worry about their attractiveness if it only went one way. The heroic act is all in the gesture, another lesson from the romance novel.

    --- If there's nothing remotely erotic around 125 and nothing much more thirty pages later, this book could be a dud. All mood and no action.

    Connie Lane's book The Duke's Scandalous Secret, doesn't have a kiss until page 146. Bad sign. It's also a bit like a mystery -- worse sign. These two facts don't bode well for the heat rating. All the way to 146, and a kiss is all that happens. So you do the 30 page test. Surely 30 pages after the first kiss, things are getting hotter? "He loosened the bow that was tied at the neckline of her nightdress and inched the fabric open." Promising. Ravensfield kisses Lynnette's cheek. Then, his mouth "nuzzled… against her neck. It was the last thing she remembered before everything went black." Say what? That's it? And she faints? If you're in a book store, scanning rapidly for a book to give and to read to your female sex partner, you're well within method to suspect that when the heroine has to get out of a kiss by fainting (on p. 177 no less!), it's time to toss the book back on the shelf. As it happens, this book finally does cough up a somewhat satisfying sex scene, pages 219 - 22, but an extra hundred pages into the novel. Clearly if you're looking for several hot sex scenes to escalate your foreplay, this book is giving you less bang for your buck. And many books that get this far without a sex scene never do. Take Susan Wilson's Summer Harbor, for example. It has aspects of both warning signs -- first, it's all about a mystery (infuriatingly drawn out and never solved). And the page 125 test? Well, yes, there's a kiss on page 127, a suspect kiss because it's a remembered kiss, for one thing. And you can tell by the language we're talking dud: "Gently, tentatively, he pressed his water-cold lips against hers. Instinctively Kiley's mouth softened in response, a little surprised that his mouth so perfectly suited hers. Mack's lips on hers erased all of the turmoil." And that's pretty much it. Notice no "sliding inside and tasting her sweetness" kind of language. We know what we're looking for, graphic description -- and if the description of the kiss starts getting all abstract on you, you're probably looking at a dud. But let's give Summer Harbor one more chance. We'll advance 30 pages from the page 125 kiss and scout for something a little more steamy. Skipping to page 158, yes, there's a second kiss. But this kiss is more abstract than the last. "At his kiss, the taste of his tongue and the salt of her own tears, she felt as if she were falling away, as if the ocean had opened up and dragged her down -- not in a frightening way, more like the comfort of safe waters…" Oh dear. At this point, it is safe to say that Summer Harbor is a book best left to the devoted romance reader not to the foreplay literati.

    So as you're hunting these books and reading them and following their scripts, acting them out with your lover as part of your foreplay, remember you're also using the book to do reconnaissance on the female psyche. Does your partner respond more to the casual race car driver who gives an orgasm as a no-strings gift? Does her breathing quicken when you're enacting the dark, coldhearted lord of the manor, the guy with the painful secrets waiting for someone to air them out? Does she giggle when you read about the sexually aggressive Aurora from Unmasked?

    Reading these erotic moments not only lets you get her aroused, it lets you into her fantasy world -- the better to get laid with in the future.

    FOREPLAY QUESTIONNAIRE
    Here's a fun, informative foreplay game. (It works as an icebreaker for swingers parties as well as a warm-up for any couple's intimacy.)

    A) If you're a couple, go to the book store together to pick out the book -- the jacket copy gives you a good idea of the elements involved. Do a quick page-125 test, then the 30-pages-later test, then discuss and vote -- until you've got a steamer that you both like.

    B) Pick out several selections of the book, then read them out loud together, taking turns and enacting the parts (for a bold twist, act the part that is opposite your sex!).

    And alternate plan: If you just can't get the time together for a long foreplay, then you can make arrangements to read the same section of a book ahead of time, each person on their own free time. Let the novel work its magic and psych you up for the day you get together.

    Then play a game of twenty questions. Answering questions about your sexual responses to the book. To keep the other person's responses from influencing yours, answer the questions separately.

    Here are some possible questions. Use these as a take-off point to come up with your own:

    1) Where do you think the man's actions or thoughts are more fantasy than reality? (you'll be surprised to see how you vary on this).

    2) To heighten the impact of #1, rate the fantasy/reality quotient on a scale from 1 - 10; 1 being "common practice" and 10 being "in your dreams."

    3) Where do you think the woman's actions or thoughts are more fantasy than reality?

    4) Rate the fantasy/reality quotient on a scale from 1 - 10.

    5) What parts are the most boring? Rate on a scale from 1 - 10 (1 being cum material, 10 being sleep material).

    6) What turns you on about the male hero?

    7) What turns you off about the male hero?

    8) What turns you on about the female hero?

    9) What turns you off about the female hero?

    10) What parts did you find most distasteful? (And rate on a scale of 1 - 10)

    11) What parts would you enjoy enacting in your next foreplay session?

    Then get back together and compare answers.

    Have a discussion. For example, if you read To Pleasure a Prince, you might discuss the bondage scene -- how much did you like that the guy couldn't see? How much did you like that the woman took control? How much did you like the emotional content? Etc. Notice how your lover's arousal differs from yours. Romance novels are money makers for a reason. Use them for all they're worth, and even the most long-term of lovers might learn some surprising things.

    ----------------------------------------------

    Contrary to popular belief, it's not an extensive reservoir of skills that makes a good lover, it's how much s/he knows about a partner's sexual wiring. This little question and answer game, plus the act of reading and enacting a romance novel together, might help you extract just the intimate information you've been looking for. The more you know, the more bells you'll ring.

    So go ring some bells.
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    Home is Where the Naked Girls Are
    by Greta Christina
    Greta Christina has worked in and around the sex industry for over a decade writing about it, editing books about it, and living it. She edited Paying For It, a collection of articles by all kinds of sex workers: dommes, escorts, peep show girls, T-girls. She's got a novella called Bending coming out this July in Susie Bright's book Three Kinds of Asking For It (published by Simon & Schuster). In response to overwhelming member requests for reviews of sex toys, sexy films, and other sex whatnots, Ms. Christina brings her girl-about-sex wisdom twice monthly to Adult FriendFinder.
    -----
    Stripped Naked
    by Peter Gorman
    Goliath Books ($39.95)
    ISBN 3-936709-13-0

    --------------------
    Photos of pretty naked girls. It's not like these are rare or hard to find. And I'm not even talking about the Internet. There are about eighty jillion books of photos of pretty naked girls -- and the overwhelming majority of them are sadly mediocre and all sort of the same. Some of them show pretty naked girls in stockings and high heels, and some show pretty naked girls from Eastern Europe, and some show pretty naked girls in bondage gear, and so on and so on. But despite these little distinctions, most of them look pretty much alike. And when Stripped Naked first crossed my path, I was ready to write it off as another one of these generic porn books, just another indistinguishable drop in a river of naked bodies. It did seem like that at first glance.

    Until I opened it up.

    What makes this one different?

    For starters, photographer Peter Gorman took the pictures of the women in their own homes, in their living rooms and bedrooms and bathrooms and kitchens. While this isn't unheard of in porn photos, it is unusual -- especially for porn photos in books -- and it's strangely hot. It gives the pictures an immediacy, a sense of being right there in the room with the pretty naked girls, and it makes the pretty naked girls seem more real. The girl bent over her desk with her leg splayed out and her hand on her pussy -- she's bent over her actual desk, a desk with a phone book and a stack of junk and an overflowing wastebasket. The girl pulling down her pants in front of her closet mirror has notebooks and shoes and things neatly stored in that closet. The girl in the crinoline and boots and no panties is showing herself off in front of an overflowing bookshelf, with her foot propped up on a cheap office chair. And the girl sitting naked in front of a fan isn't doing it so her hair will blow back dramatically -- she looks like she's doing it because it's summer, and her apartment is hot. Women get on their hands and knees, or pull down their panties, or spread their legs and their pussies -- and the beds they do it on are unmade, or piled with laundry, with sheets that bunch up and wrinkle.

    In other words, these aren't photos of an impossible dream world. The models don't seem like unattainable fantasies of perfect beauty and willingness, or like equally unattainable "bad girl" fantasies of insatiable sleaze, or even like your stereotypical sugary-sweet "girls next door" (a porn archetype that's somehow turned into another out-of-reach fantasy). They seem like real people, with real personalities, real sex lives, real pleasures and kinks. And consequently, they seem like women you could actually fuck. It feels like you could crawl inside the pages and grab them, roll around with them in their rumpled sheets, chase them across their messy floors, grind up against them on their thrift-store furniture. It's a fairly unusual quality in a dirty photo book, and I think it makes the book unusually good.



    But while Stripped Naked is a good dirty photo book, I don't think it's a great one. There's a lot of little reasons for this, but there's mostly one big one: The models are physically too much alike. While the girls aren't as rigidly conformist as your standard nude models or porn stars, there is a pretty basic similarity to their bodies. They're all young -- I'd bet $100 that none of them is over 30. Almost all of them are white. And absolutely all of them are slender or skinny.

    Now, bear with me for a moment. This isn't going to be your standard rant about body fascism and unrealistic expectations and increasingly narrow beauty standards and yada yada yada. I can certainly make that rant if anyone's dying to hear it; God knows I've made it before, it's not like I don't agree with it. But that's not my point here. My point isn't that the narrow range of body types in Stripped Naked is unhealthy, or un-feminist, or un-PC.

    My point is that it's kind of un-sexy.

    Here's what happened when I looked through Stripped Naked. I paged through the first half of the book with excitement and enthusiasm and an intense desire to shove my hand into my pants. I was eagerly flipping to the next picture to see what dirty ideas it might plant in my head, and mentally filing away my favorite images for future, uh, reference. But by the time I was halfway through, I found my attention wandering. It's not that the girls in the second half of the book are less beautiful, or that their poses are less enticing. It's just that they all started to seem like more of the same. The book's intimacy and immediacy and quirky personality began to fade, and it started to feel like just another indistinguishable bunch of photos of young skinny white chicks.

    See, here's the thing. Out of all the fetishes that crowd my overstuffed libido -- girls being bent over, motorcycle boots, spanked bottoms, corsets, cocksucking, spread labia, pants pulled down halfway and no further -- the one fetish I treasure above all is variety. And that includes physical variety. Maybe it's because I'm part of the short-attention-span TV generation, or because I've seen too much porn and have gotten a bit jaded; but unless something really interesting is going on, too many naked women who look too much alike gets me bored pretty quickly.

    This isn't a hard and fast rule. Take the renowned/beloved/infamous Porn Art and Porn Art 2, for example. Photographer Dahmane has filled two entire books with photos of just one model, Chloe des Lysses -- and it doesn't get tedious or repetitive for a second. Between the strikingly beautiful composition of the photos, and the startlingly dirty things that Chloe does in them... well, even with just the one model, the Porn Art books have enough, shall we say, variety in them to keep my hand in my pants for hours.

    But while Peter Gorman is a good sex photographer, he isn't a great one. He doesn't have the imagination, or the technical virtuosity, or the taste for seriously perverse extremity that Dahmane and Chloe show so exuberantly in the Porn Art books. And while Stripped Naked certainly has more variety than many naked-girl photo collections, it doesn't have quite enough to push it over from good to great.

    That being said, good is certainly better than not-good. And if you don't have my fetish for physical diversity, Stripped Naked may even get you off or linger in your mind and haunt you a little bit after you've put it down.

    ------- ------
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