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Color My Butthole
by Tristan Taormino
Tristan Taormino is the author of several sensationally sexy and informative books including Down and Dirty Sex Secrets, Pucker Up: A Hands-on Guide to Ecstatic Sex, The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. From college campuses to sex toy boutiques she tours the country touting the wonders of anal sex and the overall goodness of sex in all its frisky forms. In the Anal advisor columns, first published in the Village Voice, Tristan addresses the ifs, ands, and butts of anal sex.
You can visit Tristan at her official website, www.PuckerUp.com.
Dear Anal Advisor:
Is there any way of making my anus more pink or lighter in color? Mine is dark and I hate it -- any suggestions?
Eagerly Awaiting Your Reply,
Brown Eyed Susan
Dear Brown Eyed Susan:
Believe it or not, your question is a common one. Several people have written to me asking me about skin bleaching in the anal area. First, let me assure you that the way your ass looks now is perfectly normal; in most people, the puckered flesh of the anus is naturally a few shades darker---or a slightly different color---than the rest of their skin. For some people, the contrast is more extreme than others. Remember that everyoneís ass is as unique as a fingerprint. Is it possible to lighten the skin of the anal opening? Skin bleaching products are used to suppress pigmentation in order to lighten the skin; the most common products contain either hydroquinone, kojic acid or mandelic acid and are available by prescription only; those sold without a prescription tend to be weaker or less effective. Recent studies have shown that azelaic acid, bearberry extract, and licorice extract may also have lightening agents. However, most of these products are not used on genital skin, since it is much more sensitive than other skin. Consult a dermatologist or a cosmetic surgeon about your options, and never attempt to use over-the-counter products on yourself. As for making it more pink, well thatís a little trickier. The pinkest holes Iíve ever seen are those that have been stroked, licked, and/or fucked til they couldnít help but blush with contentment (lots of blood rushing to the area helps, too). I support people modifying their bodies in whatever ways they wish in order to feel better about themselves, and so I offer you the information you requested; however, I would also like you to consider why you ďhateĒ your ass so much, and what might be at the root of that particular body issue for you. Coming to terms with your negative feelings about your butt and learning to accept and love your body as it is will be a lot less expensive, less painful and, in the end, seems like the ďrosierĒ option.
Dear Anal Advisor:
Iím 36 years old and quite sexually experienced. A few months ago, I met a woman I really like. She is quite inexperienced, but has a hell of an imagination, so itís working out quite fine. Once, she got really hot for a pair of my shoes. I have lots of shoes, and cannot help buying more. I think she has a shoe fetish because she found a pair of very pointed stilettos of mine, and asked me if I would kick her in the butt with them. I didnít mind at all, it was great fun actually. How often have you had the urge to give someone a kick in the ass? But in the heat of the moment, I ended up doing more than kicking her. With some liberal helpings of KY Jelly, she ended up with the best part of my right shoe very deep in her ass. The shoe we used is very long, slim, and pointed, and I am only a size 5 1/2. I was pumping the toe in and out of her in all kinds of positions. By the end, she was riding my shoe, squatting down over my upturned toe. Humping up and down, it went in pretty deep, and she enjoyed it tremendously. She will for sure talk me into fucking her again in the butt with my shoes again, I just know it. She is not interested in being penetrated by the stiletto heel, and I wouldnít do that anyway because itís way too sharp. Is there any danger in this kind of anal play? Should I use a condom on the toe of the shoe next time?
A Kick in The Ass
Dear A Kick in The Ass:
Usually, I advise people not to use ordinary objects (such as candles, kitchen utensils, wine bottles, or other household items) as sex toys. Because they were designed for other purposes, they can be less than ideal or downright dangerous to put in your own or someone elseís ass. That said, your description of shoe sex was so entertaining and hot that I donít want to tell you to stop! Youíre smart not to try the other end of the shoe, the sharp, pointy heel, because that could definitely cause some damage. As far as safety goes, you have two options: you can designate one pair of shoes as your butt sex shoes; donít wear them out, use them only on your girlfriend, and wash them in hot water and antibacterial soap; or if you want to wear the shoes outside the house or use them on different people, then you definitely need to use an extra large condom on the shoe each and every time. As long as the toe of the shoe is smooth (please no bows or buckles!), it should be fine; plus, it definitely canít get lost in her as long as itís on my foot. As they say, if the shoe fits...
Dear Anal Advisor:
My girlfriend has hinted that she wants to try anal sex, but she is too shy to talk about it. She likes me to finger her ass, and she goes crazy when I lick it as well. The problem is that every time I try to penetrate her ass, I lose my erection! I think I must be too nervous or something, but I donít have this problem when we have vaginal sex. Because of my problem, we have never been successful in anal penetration. I think it takes me such a long time to try and position my dick that I just lose my excitement. Anal sex is one of the most arousing fantasies for me---please help me so I can do it!
Dear Mr. Softie:
If you have a less than solid erection, you can often ďstuff itĒ into her vagina, and, once youíre in, you achieve a full hard on. Itís a little trick which plenty of men do. However, that same shortcut simply does not work with anal penetration. The bottom line is that you need to have a rock hard cock to get it into someoneís ass. Well, since you have no erectile issues during vaginal sex, then your problem is probably not physical but psychological. My initial question for you is do you have any fears about fucking your girlfriend in the ass? Some men are anxious about hurting their partners. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you may be afraid youíll cause her pain or perhaps a past lover has told you that you hurt her. If you think you might have this fear, reassure yourself and your girlfriend that youíre going to warm her up, use lots of lube, and go slow, so that it wonít hurt. Speaking of going slow, it sounds like that may also be part of your problem. You wrote about how much time it takes to get in position, and you may be losing the momentum of the moment. If that is the case, perhaps your girlfriend can stroke your cock as youíre maneuvering it or talk dirty to you to keep the fantasy and the anticipation going while you get ready. Iím concerned that you say sheís too shy to talk about anal sex. You may have poor communication both in and out of bed, and that could be contributing to your anxiety or ambivalence about anal sex. Talk to her in a safe, non-threatening aware, share your desires and fears, and agree to work on this issue together.
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