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The Big One and More
by Maris Lemieux
Last week's sexual massage installment showed you how to turbo charge your partner's sexual energy. This week, finally, you get to go for orgasm. But here are some ways to use sexual massage techniques to make your partner's orgasm even hotter.
At this point, whether your partner is a guy or a lady, their sexual energy should be roiling, which makes now the perfect time to move on to internal massage -- sometimes known as healing massage.
For men with penile insensitivity and women who don't easily reach orgasm, the "healing" or internal massage can change everything. Even for those who have no issues, the same massage can lead to expanded orgasm, sometimes described as "implosive" for men or "waves" for women.
For men, sexual massage involves anal massage, and for women, vaginal, so we'll cover the two separately.
Internal Massage for Men
1) First, have your partner lie down, spread his legs, toes outward.
2) Have him pump his PC muscle (as if squeezing so as not to urinate, then releasing), and as he does this, hold up his ballsac and press firmly on his perineum (flat spot beneath his balls).
3) Then massage the base of his penis and his balls. And while you're at it, be sure you're massaging the spongy spot between penis and ballsac.
4) Once your man is aroused, moving your sex play into the anus should be easy. As he feels the good feelings, he's relaxing and muscles all around the butt hole should also be relaxing. As long as you proceed very slowly and gradually, he will continue feeling good. Start by putting on surgical gloves.
5) Tickle, tease, and touch the outside rim of the butt hole for awhile before trying to enter, so that he becomes accustomed to the sensations.
a) Start moving the finger inward in very small increments, like a stealthy animal who goes unnoticed. A tiny vibrating motion with the finger makes the anus loosen up more readily.
b) The man must concentrate on being open, on receiving.
c) As you move inward, if your partner experiences some feelings of resistance, just maintain your finger in place, talking to him, questioning him -- "what are you feeling?" After waiting a few seconds ask if the feeling is any more comfortable. Keep checking in without withdrawing your finger, and ultimately, his sense of discomfort should subside.
d) If the discomfort persists, withdraw your finger entirely and start the process over.
e) As your inner finger progresses deeper, outside you can place the thumb of the same hand on his perineum and press lightly. You can also place your free hand under his coccyx and press upward as if to cradle and protect him. He should find these pressures comforting.
f) If all is going well at this point, search for the prostate, a nut-sized spongy area a couple inches in on the forward (cock-side) wall. It helps to move deeper, past the spot and come back on it so you can get a sense of its shape.
g) From here, move your finger all around the prostate. With your finger vibrating, make occasional passes across the small mound. Keep lines of communication open. Let your partner describe his feelings.
h) Try to maintain this massage for ten minutes or so because the first sensations may not always be the best. Again, if your partner feels discomfort, stop all motion, or move away from the prostate mound temporarily and then edge back.
i) In most cases, feelings of discomfort, as well as his possible sense that he is going to urinate, will go away if you persist slowly, gently.
j) After this massage he will probably not want to rush off to a busy work day. It may be time for hugs. Sexual intercourse is probably not the best idea the first time he receives this massage because it will take time for his body to integrate the experience, but when you do have sex, this massage should make his penis extremely sensitive, able to feel minute textures and pressures.
Internal massage for women.
This anal massage works on women, without the prostate element. So, a woman has a choice between two healing massages. Firstly, the vaginal massage can be very rewarding for a woman. The steps that follow show you what to do -- remember that each step may be a whole day's practice in itself -- especially when you're first starting out with your partner. Patience, pausing when your partner experiences difficulties, resting your fingers on the sensitive spots until it's time to move on, these are all part of the massage that you and your partner will work through as you go along. Below is only the action-adventure portion of the process.
1) It's best if your partner is somewhat aroused, so one of you might want to stimulate her clitoris before starting the massage. You'll probably want to add some lubrication.
2) Once she is aroused, slip one finger (or two -- her choice) inside her vagina and with your finger(s) crooked, massage just inside the hole.
3) If, while you're doing this, your partner clenches and releases her PC muscle and curls her pelvis so she's thrusting her vagina upwards, her sexual energy will come alive and the sensations will be more intense.
4) At any point in this massage, especially as you move deeper, your partner may feel some tension. At this point you should stop and rest your finger(s) on the place where she found the tension. Eventually the tension releases and you should have your partner let you know when that happens.
5) Your movements should take the form of the "come hither" gesture and should be extremely slow.
6) The next port of call on your cruise is her G-spot. It's a fleshy dime-sized area on the forward inside of the vagina. Start by working your massaging finger around the G-Spot -- if she's aroused, you should be able to feel it.
7) If she reports tension or discomfort, you should pause, leaving your finger on the spot, but taking in her running commentary. Work together to establish good communication. When she's ready to move on, move on.
8) The final destination is the cervix which is at the end of the deep end of the vagina. Here, you want to massage around the cervix, not on the cervix.
9) Both the cervical area and the G-spot can be sensitive to the touch -- almost painful in some cases -- because they are places the body stores tension, trauma, or stress. What the masseuse has to do is rest on the spot, let your partner process anything that comes up, and after a little time and patience, move on.
In both men and women, the internal canals can develop knots or tough spots and can be massaged just like knotted muscles of a topical massage. If you feel a knot, your partner probably feels the tension. And as in topical massage, the idea is to work through these knots and get the tension to dissipate. How? The method is not exactly the same.
1) For both men and women rest your fingers on the spot that's causing the tension, simply touch and rest, nothing more. Oftentimes touching these tense spots will trigger memories, or negative emotions. And if that is the case, try talking it through.
2) Also, try breathing in sync with your partner. You can either breathe in when they breathe in and out when they breathe out, or you can do the opposite, breathing in your partner's exhale. In any event, the partner experiencing the tension should decide what's OK and when it's best to move on.
The result of all this is that it opens up your sexual energy, makes your genitals more sensitive to stimulation, and your sex hotter.
You can now go it one better.
Massage and Body Waves
Once you get the prostate and G-spot massage to work so that you and your partner are comfortable with it and it's creating positive sensations, then try assisting your partner to massive orgasm by performing this massage DURING orgasm. You can double their sensation and intensify their experience.
1) Start with regular orgasm, notice how your inner anal or prostate muscles take part in the orgasm -- can you feel them? Do they flutter?
2) Also any time you are having an orgasm, try to conjure up exciting images of anal play. Many men have a sense that their prostate is some mysterious, godawful internal organ that can give them trouble in later life. Instead, it can be the source of great pleasure. Create exciting images involving a lover who slides gently inside you. This ensures an exciting exploration of butt play and helps you eroticize the anus and rectum so you'll have happy anticipation of the prostate massage.
3) For the man, let him masturbate himself as you give him the anal massage. You may have to work on timing. A guy can have two kinds of orgasm, ejaculatory orgasm and internal orgasm, the internal one coming from the prostate. Using this method it is possible for him to have internal orgasm without ejaculation.
4) For the woman, you can massage both her vagina and her anus as she masturbates her clitoris. Triple whammy!
5) Remember that you may not get all this the first time you try it. You may have uncomfortable feelings to work through, and sometimes it just takes time. Make a note of the issues when you are done and try again later.
For part 1 (Give Good Sexual Massaage") and part 2 ("Building the Big One") of this 3-part article, visit "Sex Secrets" in our archives.
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