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  • Trying the Tricky
    by Tristan Taormino
    Tristan Taormino is the author of several sensationally sexy and informative books including Down and Dirty Sex Secrets, Pucker Up: A Hands-on Guide to Ecstatic Sex, The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. From college campuses to sex toy boutiques she tours the country touting the wonders of anal sex and the overall goodness of sex in all its frisky forms. In the Anal Advisor columns, first published in the Village Voice, Tristan addresses the ifs, ands, and butts of anal sex. You can visit Tristan at her official website, www.PuckerUp.com.
    ---
    Dear Anal Advisor:

    My boyfriend and I want to have a three-way experience -- he and his best friend (a guy) and me. It has always been a fantasy of mine and he too wants to go through with it. We both swing, so we don’t mind seeing each other with another person. I have never really done this before. I have sucked another guy off while my boyfriend fucked me. However, I have never had two guys penetrate me at the same time, but I really want to do this. I think the idea of having two cocks in me -- one in my pussy and one in my ass -- would be an unbelievable feeling. However, this seems to be a hard thing to pull off. Do you have any tips on how to make this experience as pleasurable as possible?

    Thanks in advance,
    Fingercuffs

    Dear Fingercuffs:

    Congrats for being able to voice your fantasy out loud and tell your boyfriend. Fantasies can be incredible forces in our lives. When you share a fantasy with your partner, it can bring you closer together—and you can have a hot time in the process! My first piece of advice is that maybe the two of you should practice some double penetration before you invite your friend over. Use a flexible vibrator or dildo in one of your holes and your boyfriend fills the other. Use lots and lots of lube, go slow, and work your way up to it. Communication is extremely important: you’re testing the limits of your body, so make sure you give your man plenty of feedback about how it feels. Also realize that some women can easily and comfortably accommodate something of size in their pussy and in their ass. Others will take some effort, with lots of warm-up. But some women may not be able to do it at all, since double penetration really depends on your internal map, and if there’s room for two. You are the one who will know best if it’s possible, so make sure you’re the one who’s in charge and calling the shots. Work out the kinks on your dildo before you plan your threesome. When you are ready to tackle two flesh cocks at once, use plenty of lube and go really slow. Depending on the size and height of all three of you, some positions will work better than others. You may want to straddle one man and have the other nail you from behind. Try to take one cock about halfway inside your pussy, then angle your body to take the other one in your ass. Both men should start with shallow penetration, so you can get used to the feeling. Remember that porn stars make it look easy in adult movies, but they are seasoned professionals! You may be much more awkward your first time around. Practice makes perfect.

    Dear Anal Advisor:

    What are your thoughts on what has become a new trend in adult films: the ass to mouth act? Have you indulged in this act, and how would you suggest one prepare for such a nasty maneuver? I would appreciate any advice you can give me.

    Jacey

    Dear Jacey:

    Taking your dick out of a woman’s ass and directly shoving it into her mouth may make for exciting porn, but, in real life, it can be problematic. Bacteria lives in the butt that may not peacefully exist in the mouth, and could lead to an infection. No matter how squeaky clean her rectum may be, chances are there are at least trace amounts of fecal matter which may end up on your dick—do you really want to make her suck that off? Would you put it in your own mouth? I have a better idea. Fuck her in the ass til she’s right on the edge of orgasm, or you are. Order her to get on her knees and close her eyes. Talk to her, tell her she better open up her mouth for your cock. Have an anti-bacterial baby wipe stashed nearby, and quietly grab it, slide it over your cock, then toss it. Now proceed with sticking your rod in her mouth, keeping the fantasy intact, but keeping it clean for everyone involved.


    Dear Anal Advisor:

    I love it when my wife wears a strap-on and gives it to me in the butt. My problem is that she only does it occasionally. I wish she would do it more and enjoy it more, but I think maybe it’s not to be. I’ve even thought about having a gay encounter so I can get fucked in the ass more. Any suggestions? Are there any women that like screwing guys?

    Signed,
    R.H.

    Dear R.H.:

    Are there any women that like screwing guys? R.H., is the sky blue? Do I love getting fucked in the ass? Yes, yes, of course there are women who enjoy turning the tables and being on the other end of a nice butt fucking for a change. Unfortunately, your wife may not be one of these dildo-wielding divas. Since you’ve already gotten your ass plowed by her before, I think it’s fair to ask her directly why you’re not getting the backdoor gift from her more often. Have you told her how much it turns you on? Your wife may have some issues with being the penetrator (instead of the penetrated), since it is not a straight woman’s typical role; however, you can reassure her that there are plenty of other women giving it to their guys and loving every minute of it. Perhaps she hasn’t realized her own potential for pleasure during strap-on sex. In addition to being a real turn-on upstairs (in her head), there are also plenty of ways for her to get off while she’s got her cock in your ass. For some women, when the base of the dildo rubs against the clitoris and vagina, there is enough friction there to feel fantastic. Your gal should also consider the power of having balls. Some women simply don’t choose a dildo with balls because they prefer a more non-realistic style dildo; however, balls do more than make it look real, they extend the base of the dildo and cover more surface area—which means more for you to rub up against. Think about it. If she wants to add a vibrator to the equation, she has several options. She could select a vibrating dildo, which will deliver vibration to both of you. She could try to don a wearable vibrator beneath her harness, but this may be awkward and interfere with the harness being tight enough. A better idea is the “Buzz Me” harness made by Stormy Leather and equipped with a pocket for a small vibrating egg (http://www.stormyleather.com). Vixen Creations has several dildos, among them “Treasure Chest” and “Bobby Sue,” with hollowed-out bases (http://www.vixencreations.com). Stick a vibrating egg in the base of the dildo, tuck the battery pack in the side of the harness and she’s ready for vibrating action, his and hers style! For double penetration (one for you, one for her), there are harnesses with two holes, one for the dildo to penetrate you with, another for a dildo pointing in her direction. The “Nexus” by Vixen is not an extra long jelly dong like you see in adult novelty stores. Instead, it’s a two dildos-in-one package: she can have a dildo inside her pussy or ass while simultaneously penetrating your ass. I just love sex toy technology! If you want to learn more about strap-on anal sex, I highly recommend the videos Bend Over Boyfriend 1 & 2. Now, as for your idea about having a “gay experience” in order to fulfill your anal sex desires, don’t you think that switching teams might be a little too extreme? Unless you are actually bisexual, and looking for a way to express your desire for men, if it’s anal sex you want, I stay stick with your wife and see if both of you can get what you want and need out of the assfucking experience.
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    13. victoria - Adult Mature Sex-All Singles-Amigos Personal-¿Quieres ver más amateurs cachondos y swingers sensuales?
    Paying for It (Behind the Scenes)
    by Editors: Greta Christina
    Greta Christina has worked in and around the sex industry writing about it, editing books about it, and living it. In response to overwhelming member requests for reviews of sex toys, sexy films, and sex whatnots, Ms. Christina brings her girl-about-sex wisdom twice monthly to Adult FriendFinder. We thought you'd like a chance to meet her. Here's our interview:

    ---

    Adult FriendFinder: The book you edited, Paying for It, has some incredible trade secrets about how to treat a sex worker. What did you learn that you didn't already know as you put the book together? How involved have you been in the sex worker biz?

    Christina: How involved have I been in the sex industry? I guess that depends a bit on how you define the sex industry. If you define "sex work" somewhat loosely, I've been doing some form of it for years. I've worked for a porn magazine/video company, I took orders for a phone sex company, I worked for years for a mail-order porn-and-sex-toys company, testing and reviewing products... and of course, I've been writing about sex for most of my professional writing career. (I also did some nude and erotic modeling in my younger days, but that was all for fun and not for money, so I don't count it as sex work.) But the actual "getting people off in person for money" type of sex work... the only kind I did was dancing in a peep show, which I did for a few months. Eye-opening, life-changing months, to be sure... but that's why I did "Paying For It" as an anthology instead of just writing it myself. There are many writers in the book with a lot more experience in the sex trade than I have.

    And I learned a huge amount from them. I've had countless friends and acquaintances and colleagues in it, I've done tons of reading about it, not to mention my own experience with it... but there were still things that surprised me when I was editing the book. The main surprise was how much sex workers have in common. Obviously everyone in the book has their own story to tell and their own advice to give... but there were certain themes that came up over and over again. Whether you're a professional mistress or a phone sex worker, a four-figure courtesan or a forty-dollar street worker, there are certain experiences that almost everyone in the sex trade goes through. So there are a few pieces of advice that almost everyone in the book mentions. (A few examples: don't try to bargain, don't be shit-faced on booze or drugs, become a regular if you can, and for God's sake, bathe.)

    Adult FriendFinder: The book has articles in it from all kinds of sex workers -- T-girls, Mistresses, male escorts -- and they're a voice that rarely gets heard. How did you decide what kind of articles you wanted in the book?

    Christina: I knew I wanted as much variety in the book as possible -- mostly because I wanted it to reach as wide an audience as possible. I didn't just want to talk to regular customers of prostitutes and pro dominants -- I wanted to talk to folks who go to strip clubs now and then, or who like to check out interactive Webcam porn, or who might hire a stripper for a birthday party, or whatever. And I wanted to it reach, not just straight men, but gay men as well, and the few women who pay to get off. So when I was looking for submissions, I cast as wide a net as I was able to -- and if I felt like there was a hole that needed to be filled, I went out of my way to find a writer who could fill it. And when I was deciding which submissions to include, variety was one of my top concerns. There was some very good writing I had to say "no" to, not because it wasn't interesting and useful, but because it covered ground that was already covered.

    Adult FriendFinder: You have an article in that book about your days in the peep show booths, could you briefly tell us what that life is like, and maybe tell our readers a couple of "inside secrets" about that line of work that might surprise or amaze them? What did you like and dislike about the work?

    Christina: I don't know if I have many inside secrets... but likes and dislikes I can tell you about. The thing I liked best about peep show dancing was the other dancers. They were smart and funny and unbelievably good-hearted, and they were totally hot besides. I sometimes couldn't believe I was actually getting paid to dance naked on a small stage with four other gorgeous naked women. And the work itself was usually fun. I've always been a bit of an exhibitionist, and I've always loved to dance -- so getting to dance naked in front of people was pretty damn fun most of the time.

    My number one dislike was the management, who were total jerks and the reason I wound up quitting. But a close second was unappreciative customers. Guys who came into the booth and just stared like zombies, without smiling or talking or showing any kind of pleasure... that could be a real mood-killer.


    Adult FriendFinder: Some of the sex workers in the book get almost metaphysical and their pieces really made sex workers seem like a beautiful part of the human race. Why do you feel it's important to put out a book like this? Does it serve people other than "clients" or does it have a wider scope than "a guide by sex workers for their clients"?

    Christina: Obviously I'm biased... but I do think "Paying For It" is a good read for more than just sex work customers. For one thing, it provides a real nuts-and-bolts view on being a sex worker, in a way that most sex worker memoirs don't. Lots of people have told me that the book gave them a real sense of what it's like to be a sex worker, the day-to-day experience of
    it: what a good day looks like, what a bad day looks like, the petty annoyances and small pleasures that make up our everday working lives. And I think it makes readers see sex work as a job -- a job that's not necessarily all that different from any job, with things about it that are cool and things that suck. So yes, I think it's interesting and important, even if you've never paid for sexual pleasure in your life. And I think the book is entertaining. A lot of it is very funny.

    But I don't want to sound like giving how-to advice for sex customers is trivial. I mean, that's the whole reason the book exists, and I think it's important. I've noticed that a lot of people who are very sex-positive and supportive of sex workers can be pretty harsh on customers, and "Paying For It" is one of the few sex work books that takes customers seriously and gives their desires real respect. God knows there are some hard words in the book about customers -- I wrote some of them myself -- but the book's basic position is that customers deserve to have pleasure, and that when they do dumb things that piss us off, it's often out of ignorance, not malice. And there are some really nice, sweet, affectionate stories about customers as well.

    Adult FriendFinder: You're going to be reviewing all kinds of sex-related products and events for the site. Could you tell us a little about your past experiences in the world of adult products (for example, you used to work for a dildo company)? Or about your personal interest in adult products?

    Christina: For years, I worked as the buyer for a small mail-order porn-and-sex-toys company. It was my job to watch dirty videos, read dirty books, play with sex toys, and so on, and decide which ones we should sell. As a result, I've spent many hours watching porn and playing with toys, and sifting through loads of bad and mediocre stuff to find the gems. It's a little different doing that professionally instead of personally -- you have to think about things like how well it will sell, what else you have in the catalog that's similar, and so on. But we were a very small, personal company, and we only carried products that we had tried and enjoyed. So the personal seal of approval was crucial.

    I got a huge amount of hands-on experience with porn and sex toys at that job, and I developed a sense of when something was really special and when it was just more of the same. Of course I had my quirks, my own personal fetishes and so on. But after a while, I could usually tell if a video or something was worthwhile, even if it wasn't making me run for my vibrator.

    Before that job, and since then, I've just been a garden-variety sex fiend who likes to write. I've been fascinated by sex for as long as I can remember; sex has always intrigued me, the social and political and philosophical aspects of it, as well as just the "personally horny" aspect of it. I've had an interest in porn and sex toys since forever -- even before I was old enough to buy my own porn and sex toys, I was swiping my dad's Playboys and improvising with hairbrushes and vegetables and the bathtub faucet -- and I had a nice little collection even before I started working at the sex toy company. Of course, once I started working for the sex toy company, that collection got a little out of hand...

    Adult FriendFinder: Could you tell us a little about the Suzie Bright book that's coming out?

    Christina: Sure. Susie Bright, as you know, edits the Best American Erotica series. She thinks there's an untapped market for longer pieces of erotic fiction, not just anthologies of short stories. So she decided to edit a new series of books, collections of three erotic novellas in one book. It's sort of a "best of both worlds" deal. You get the deeper satisfaction that you get with a long piece, something that has the space to really explore the characters and what drives them sexually, their desires and fears and perversions and so on, in some depth and detail. But you also get some of the variety that comes with a short story collection.

    My novella, "Bending," is one of the novellas in the second collection. The book is called "Three Kinds of Asking For It," it's published by Simon & Schuster, and it comes out in July.

    Adult FriendFinder: I've already heard great things about your contribution to that book. Without giving too much away, can you give us a sneak preview and maybe tell us what motivated you to write the piece?

    Christina: Ooh, that's exciting! I'm getting buzz! Well, this is going to sound crass, but what motivated me to write "Bending" was Susie Bright asking me to submit a proposal for the novella project -- and explaining who was publishing it and how much it paid. There's nothing like the prospect of a decent paycheck and a wider audience to get the creative gears in motion.

    So that's what initially motivated me... but once I hit on the main character, Dallas, what motivated me was her. Dallas is a woman who is sexually obsessed, or maybe fixated, or maybe just very very interested, in getting bent over. She gets off on a lot of different things -- getting fucked, getting whipped, giving blowjobs, whatever -- but she has to be bent over, or it doesn't work. And she has this completely focused, single-minded determination about getting what she wants. (Maybe because of that, I found myself getting completely obssesed with her; she dominated my fantasy life for weeks, and I think I masturbated more often when I was writing this story than at any other time in my life.) The story starts off with a series of encounters with people Dallas doesn't quite mesh with; but pretty soon, she meets another woman who loves bending Dallas over as much as Dallas loves getting bent. Once they get together... no, sorry, here's where I have to stop. I don't want to give too much away.

    I'm obviously biased, but I think "Bending" is one of the best things I've written -- maybe *the* best thing -- and I'm ridiculously proud of it. The story is hot and entertaining, and a lot of it is very funny... but a lot of it is serious as well. I worked very hard to make it both good, nasty, one-handed reading, *and* a serious exploration of obsession, of desire and satisfaction, of what it means to actually get enough of the thing you want most and how that might change you. And I think it's different from a lot of serious "literary" porn, in that the plot and character development are woven into the sex. In a lot of serious porn, the story and the sex are kind of separate -- you have story, and then a sex scene, and then more story, and another sex scene, and so on. "Bending" isn't like that. In fact, practically the whole story is sex. There's hardly any part of it where people aren't either having sex, talking about sex, or thinking about sex. That's not unusual for generic boilerplate porn, but it is somewhat unusual for literary porn -- especially for a longer piece. It was hard to sustain, but I think I pulled it off, and I feel really happy about it.

    [Next week, be sure to look for Greta Christina's first bi-monthly review: Peter Gorman's photo book, Stripped Naked.]
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