Well it can be just about anything that happens to a person during their life time that changes everything for them.  To some it is an illness, to some it is the loss of their mate/spouse, or someone very dear to them, and then to others, it is having a home one day and not the next.

All of the above crisis have happened to just about everyone, and to those it hasn't happened to, well then I hope and pray that this will help you, when thattime does come to you.

I actually thought at one time, that the loss of my mother was the worse for me, but it wasn't.  For although after I lost her, I felt really alone, I knew I wasn't.  I still had my father.  Then one day four years after loosing mom, we were notified of my father being seriously ill, and I lost him six weeks later.  They both passed away due to cancer.  One was colon cancer and the other leukemia.

After that I really researched every thing that the American Cancer Society had.  My brother and I kept those lines very busy to that organization.  We felt very strongly about it. He quit smoking, and I started loosing some weight.  Both of our spouses backed us on what we were doing.

So you can imagine my shock to find out on November 20, 1995, that I had a heart attack.  My heart I gave no thought to or about.  It was an organ in my body, that I figured would stay forever I guess.  But I soon learned very quickly, it can let you down very fast.  I had a 90% blockage, and they did the angio-plasty. 

I found myself taking more medication that I had ever taken, and now a limitation on my life that was unbelievable, and habits had to change. (NOTE: Do you know how hard it is to give up pizza, and hot dogs? "G" ) This heart attack came during the Thanksgiving holiday week and believe me I was wollering in self pity, and thought, what do I have to be thankful for.

Well I was in CCU, I do remember talking to my Lord. Now not all of you probably believe in God, but I am sure you believe in something, and that is what is important here right now.  Anyway, I asked him to give me understanding and strength and also should I go home, to please give my family the understanding and strength.  And while I was in the hospital, I was feeling ok and thought, yes, I can handle this.  You know what, I couldn't.  I went home and I felt so alone.
My husband was here, my children called, but I could not understand what had happened to me, or why. Here is what I found out. 

A heart attack doesn't just come, you do get warnings. Yes, I had those warnings, but ignored them.  A heart attack isn't like a broken leg where you can wear a cast and know it is broken.  No with the heart you can't see the damage, but you know it is there.  (I now have a dead muscle in my heart). The cast gets removed from your leg, but you can't see the healing of the heart.  That is when you really start letting your mind play tricks on you. You find you are actually afraid to do some of the things you did before, but know that they say you can start.  But in your mind you are saying, "What do they know, they are only doctors, and haven't had a heart attack."  Well, needless to say I was way off base, and feeling as I did only compounded my problems.

Once I started to take control of my life, and keep saying to myself, yes I have had a heart attack, but I am still here, and I am do something with my life, no matter how small that something is. It was then that I started healing.

No I can not work, but that is okay, for I do work on things in my home.  I bought a computer and learned it, and believe me that is a full time job within itself.  I still haven't mastered a lot of it, but I have great friends and family that help me along and explain things, but the point is, I am not dwelling on my heart condition.  I am too busy to do that now.

As a result, I am happier with myself, I have a better understanding of my life and the purpose of it.  That is why I am writing this.  This is very good therapy for anyone who has had a crisis.  Write it down, get it out of your system and move on.  As long as you are still alive, you can make it, but the decision is your and yours alone.  No one on this earth can help you, but you.

I pray the best of health for each of you, and maybe even if you haven't had a severe crisis or anything, sit down and give thanks for all the beautiful blessings you have.  I can think of a couple right now. 


LIFE, HEALTH, SUNSHINE,
and the best blessing of all:
GOD'S LOVE AND PROTECTION.
 


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