The Outlaw Cody Pinket

Every go-getter has an enemy, Batman has the Joker, Dorothy had the Wicked Witch, Kris Kringle had the Winter Warlock and I have Cody Pinket.

Being in the same room with him is about as fun as sleeping on burlap sheets, or finding out you studied all weekend for the wrong test. He’s like the neighbor’s dog who won’t stop barking when you’re trying to sleep.


I get mad just thinking about him!

Mom says what goes around comes around and that this will catch up to him some day. So while I’m waiting for justice to happen, Cody's sitting behind me in math class tying little knots in my hair. While I’m trying to avoid him in gym class he’s whipping tennis balls at my butt. I stare at him during lunch trying to burn a hole through his head with my laser vision. It never works.

If only I were a superhero... bullied kids everywhere would only have to shout my name, “Hey, LydiaWoman!” I would leap into the picture with my secret recipe can of silly string and immobilize the villain. “Don’t worry Mr. Bully... it’ll wash off in a COUPLE OF MONTHS!”

And then I would make him sing the apology song in front of EVERYBODY wearing his mom’s pajamas... and then...

“Earth to Lydia. Earth to Lydia. Come in Lydia.”

I guess there’s a reason why it’s out of my hands... but if I ever find the genie in the magic lantern... Cody beware!

I think, therefore I am... Grouch of the Couch.


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