Star Wars Song Parodies 
Old McPalpatine
A Parody of "Old McDonald" Sung by the Stormtroopers

Old McPalpatine had a Death Star
E-I-E-I-O
And this Death Star was Vader
E-I-E-I-O
With a wheeze here and a wheeze there,here a wheeze there a wheeze
everywhere a wheeze
Chorus:
Old McPalpatine had a Death Star
E-I-E-I-O

Old McPalpatine had a Death Star
E-I-E-I-O
And on this Death Star was Princess Leia
E-I-E-I-O
With a lie here and a lie there ,Here a lie there a lie
(Sing Chorus x1)

Old McPalpatine had a Death Star
E-I-E-I-O
And on this Death Star was Luke
E-I-E-I-O
With a whine here and a whine there
Here a whine there a whine everywhere a whine

Old McPalpatine had a Death Star
E-I-E-I-OOOOOOOOOOOO

- by Ashley Stuart


Lando

A parody of "The Popeye Theme"

I'm Lando the gambling man,
I win as much money as I can
I'm a lying traitor,
Gave Han to Darth Vader,
I'm Lando the gambling man!

- By Radwa Penny


Light Saber

Parody of "Night Fever" by The Bee Gees Sung by Obiwan Kenobi, backup by Luke and Yoda

Learn the way of force, we will be the Jedi knights.
Do not under estimate the power of dark side.
May the force be with you, always strong as it could be.
We will never give in to the dark side.

Beating the evil we need a good weapon,
which must be best for the Jedi.
It ain't no blaster, must be something real neat:

* Its called the Light Saber, light saber,
  We know how to use it.
  It is the Light saber, Light saber,
  We know how to hold it.

It is weapon of the Jedi knight,
You can get it in all kinds of
different colours and different size....yai yai yai.

Repeat * till fade.

- By Bojen Low


Untitled

A parody of "Home, home on the range"

Oh, give me a home where the Sandpeople roam
where the Jawas and Banthas play
Where water is heard as a forbiden word
And the sun shines down brighty all bay
Home, home on Tatooine
Where the Jawas and Banthas play
Where water is heard as a forbidden word
And the sun shines down brightly all day
by Kyra Saltamn
What do you think? I am working on something to the tune of
"phantom of the opera"
i'll keep it touch!

- By Kyra Saltman



Oh, Darth Vader

A Parody of "Oh, Suzanna"

Wel, i come from old correlia
with my wookiee next to me
And I'm going to pay off Jabba
Cause I own him a big fee

Oh, Darth Vader, oh don' you cry for me
cause I come from old correlia
with my wookiee next to me

well, i slept all night the day i left
in the mornin i was tired
When i went to see the slimy hutt
he told me I was fired

oh, darth Vader, oh don't you cry for me
cause I come from old correlia with my wookiee next to me



Untitled

A Padody of "phantom of the opera"

Leia: Stormtroopers shot at me
they set for stun
Darth Vader tortured me
it wasn;t fun
i'm very certain now
they'll never know
the hidden rebel base is there...on Yavin 4

Tarkin: i'm tired of asking you
Where is the base
i shall not rest until
i know the placethough you deny it all
I'm certain now
the hidden rebel base is there....on Yavin 4



Head over Feet

A Parody of "Head over Feet" by Alanis Morissette

(Luke to Vader)
I had no choice but to fear you
You cut at my face time and again
I fought about it

You know Leia, she’s a princess
She’s pretty strong about the head
You know how her day was (bad)

Chorus:
You’ve tried to win me over just to spite me
I’ve already flipped head over feet
But don’t be surprised if I love you for the machine that you are
I couldn’t help it
It’s all your fault.

Your hate was thick, dark like a hole
You;re as brave as I gave you credit for
That’s not much, I’d say

(Chorus)

You don’t listen much, that I would bet
You skipped a breath, and bolted the door for me
Your strength ain’t patience.

You tried to freeze me in carbonite
You ain’t my friend
That just wouldn’t be right
What took you so long?

You’ve never felt this unhealthy before
Suddenly the light side returned to you
I am aware now.
Set off the flares now

(chorus)

- By Emily Gaudier



 

X-I-Z-O-R

A Parody of "Bingo" (shadows of the empire)
 

there was a prince of the black sun and xizor was his name-o

chorus: X-I-Z-O-R , X-I-Z-O-R , X-I-Z-O-R , and xizor was his name-o

there was a no good gambler and lando was his name-o

L-A-N-D-O , L-A-N-D-O , L-A-N-D-O and lando was his name-o

there was a there was a slimy criminal hutt and jabba was his name-o

J-A-B-B-A , J-A-B-B-A , J-A-B-B-A  and jabba was his name-o

there was a dark lord of the sith and vader was his name-o

V-A-D-E-R , V-A-D-E-R , V-A-D-E-R  and vader was his name-o

- By Jonathan Murphy, Nick Pittman, and Kevin McRillis


Imperial Guy

A Parody of "Material Girl" by Madonna as sung by Darth Vader

Some boys fear me, some boys hate me
I think they're all dumb
If they don't give me proper credit
Then dead they will become

No matter how they beg and plead
They can't turn from the Light, that's right
'Cause the emperor's my only master
And he is always right

Chorus
'Cause we're living in an Imperial sky
And I am an Imperial guy
You know we are living in an Imperial sky
And I am an Imperial guy

Some boys fight, some're alright, but
I cut hands off anyway
Only boys who complete their training
Can defeat me someday

Some boys choke, some boys croak
I don't need a reason why
If they come to apologize then I
Have to make them die

Chorus

Sons may come and daughters go
And that's OK with me
The Empire has made me strong
And I'll soon rule the galaxy

Chorus

- By RDecesar@aol.com


Force is the Word

A Parody of "Grease is the Word by Frankie Avalon from "Grease" as sung by Luke Skywalker and the Jedi Accademy,

Luke:
I kill the bad guys with a sword of light
I got a Jedi thing, I've gotta do it right
There is a danger from the dark side
But if we use the Force, we can stay in the light
 
Force is the word
 
Han believes that the Force isn't real
A blaster to him, had much more appeal
But he can kiss my ass for all I care
He would've died at Jabba's if I hadn't been there
Force is the word
It's got power, it's got meaning
Force is the time is the place is the motion
Force is the way we are living
 
Jedi students and Luke:
We take the anger and we toss it aside
Yoda said stay away from the dark side
We can control your minds if they are weak
But unlike Vader, it is peace that we seek
 
This is the way of the Jedi
When the force calls we are red-i
What are we doing?
 
We take the dark side and we toss it aside
Yoda said stay away from the dark side
We can control your minds if they are weak
But unlike Vader, it is peace that we seek
 
Force is the word
It's got power it's got meaning
Force is the time is the place is the motion
Force is the reason we're fighting
 
Force is the word
It's got power it's got meaning
Force is the time is the place is the motion
Force is the only way we are surviving
 
Luke:
Force is the word
 
Jedi students:
Is the word
Is the word
Is the word.....

- By Lady Guinevere  


If you wannabe a Jedi

A Parody of "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls

CHORUS 1:
Luke: Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want
Yoda: So tell me what you want, what you really really want
Luke: I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want
Yoda: So tell me what you want, what you really really want
Luke: I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I want, you know I really really really
wanna be a Jedi Knight...
Yoda: Ha!

Yoda: If you want your future, forget the past
If you wanna train with me, better make it fast
Now you stop wastin' this precious time
Get your act together, maybe you'll be fine

(Chorus 1)

CHORUS 2:
If you wannabe a Jedi, you gotta get with the Force
Learning ain't that easy, don't take the Dark Side course!
If you wannabe a Jedi, you have got to give
The Dark Side lasts forever, don't let your father live...

So whatcha think about that? Now you know how you feel...
Vader is your father, your dad for real...
Just do or do not, there is no try;
Else you can kiss your Jedi training away, goodbye!

(Chorus 1)
(Chorus 2)

So here's the story from A to Z,
you wanna train with me, you gotta listen carefully
You got Vader in his place, he's laughing in your face
You got Ben, now Papaltine, and he'll treat you really mean
Lightning from his hands (it's a pain now)
and as for me, ah you'll see
Slam your body down and lift rocks off the ground
Slam your body down and lift rocks off the ground

(Chorus 2)

If you wanna be a Jedi, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta slam!
Slam your body down and lift rocks off the ground
Slam your body down and lift rocks off the ground
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
Slam your body down and lift rocks off the ground
Slam your body down, be a Jedi knight, ha!

If you wanna be a Jedi...

- By Lawrence Chu



Sympathy for the Rebels

A Parody of "Sympathy for the Devil" by the Rolling Stones

Please allow us, to introduce ourselves:
we are heroes of space and sky
We fight the Empire in StarWars,
And please, don't ask us why!

We were around when Bothan Spies
gave us an Imperial code,
Made damn sure that Palpatine,
was on board the Death Star, so he would explode

Please, why don't you? ..celebrate, we're done!
But what's, puzzling you, is_simply how the heck we won?!

We were around on Alderaan,
when it was simply blown away
We survived, though, because we are,
the good guys so we're here to stay!

We were on Hoth when AT-AT's drew near,
Fighting Captain Veers,
with that guy from "Cheers"!

Please, why don't you? ..celebrate, we're done!
But what's, puzzling you, is_simply how the heck we won?!

Some were around when those Jedi guys
fought for long decades
with the clones they made,

I shouted out who killed Luke's Aunt Beru,
When afterall, it was me and you!

So let us please introduce ourselves:
We are heroes of space and sky,
They built two Death Stars to stop us, though,
So you can't say they didn't try!

Please, why don't you? ..celebrate, we're done!
But what's, puzzling you, is_simply how the heck we won?!

Sometimes even the power of the Force can't help,
and no Jedi can save your soul
So please have just enough sympathy,
To allow us one plot-hole..
Though we're the Heroes of Yavin, man
Heroes of Endor, man
Heroes of Hoth,
We really needed them cute teddybears,
yes, without them would just have lost!

Please, why don't you? ..celebrate, we're done!
But what's, puzzling you, is_simply how the heck we won?!

Please, why don't you? ..celebrate, we're done!
But what's, puzzling you, is_simply how the heck we won?!

Please, why don't you? ..celebrate, we're done!
But what's, puzzling you, is_simply how the heck we won?!

(repeat until dead)

- By Gerthein Boersma



I'm Back on the Screen (the Mark Hamill song)

A Parody of "I'll be there for you" by the Rembrandts, best known as the theme song from "Friends".

So George had told me that they, would be back someday,
Is that my hair, my face, and did I just yell "Hey!"?
It's like I have been stuck in second gear,
Now I finally have some fame, some cash, a life, even a career…

'cause

I'm back on the screen
For one hundred percent!
I'm back on the screen
Now I can pay the rent!
I'm back on the screen
And like you've never seen!

I was on Leno last night, and CNN at eight,
It's Letterman tomorrow, things are going great!
And I'm on Oprah even as we speak,
I'm gonna ask George if he'll re-release these films, ev-er-y week…

'cause

I'm back on the screen
Yes, I truly am back!
I'm back on the screen
Even though I can't act!
I'm back on the screen
And like you've never seen!

No, no-one recognized me, everyone would avoid me!
Seems no-one knew me and that's just_ what so annoyed me!
You know I do impressions?
Do comics, star in space-games?
Did about a thousand cartoons?
But I'm only I famous 'cause I'm
Luke! Yeah!

It's like I have been stuck in second gear,
Now I finally have some fame, some cash, a life, even a career…

'cause

I'm back on the screen
They say I struck a chord!
I'm back on the screen
Fine'ly bigger than Ford!
I'm back on the screen
And like you've never seen!

I'm back on the screen!

I'm back on the screen!

I'm back on the screen!

(repeat until dead)

- By Gerthein Boersma



Lyin' (Obi-Wan's song)

A Parody of "Cryin" by Aerosmith

There was a time,
When I was just so much faster
Teaching the Force, to a friend of mine.
The tables have turned,
Yeah.. 'cause now that friend _is_ the master,
Chopped me in half, but that suits me fine..

Listen:

Although being dead,
has severely cramped my style,
I've just
gotta
tell-you-somethin'-that-ain't-gonna make-you smile:

(chorus)

I was lyin' when I met you,
I was tryin' to protect you.
Didn't want you to do sumptin' you'd regret..

I've been dying to convey this,
You'll be crying when I say this:
Your father ain't dead, well not yet..
 

So that time when I said to you:
"Darth Vader killed your dad",
Well I just sorta bent the truth,
So please say you're not mad..

When we first met,
remember what almost happened:
Those Sandpeople they, really knocked you down!
Then I saved your neck,
gave you a damn good weapon,
Well keep that in mind, when I tell you now:

Your dad is alive,
'though he came real close to death
You-might-wanna stay
away-from-him-though:
'cause he really has bad breath!

(chorus)

I've been dying to convey this,
You'll be crying when I say this:
Your father ain't dead, not dead yet..

I was lyin' when I met you,
I was tryin' to protect you.
Didn't want you to do sumptin'-you'd regret..

(guitar solo)

Y'know it all depends
on a certain point of view
Yeah, and if
I keep
saying-that, I may someday think it's true

(chorus)

I've been dying to convey this,
You'll be crying when I say this:
Your father ain't dead, well not yet..

I was lyin' when I met you,
I was tryin' to protect you.
Didn't want you to do what you do down to.. baby, baby, baby, baby
yeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeah!
 

So ol' Darth didn't tell no lies,
He said you were his son
But back when I said otherwise,
That script wasn't yet done!

And while I still am,
telling truths, hundred percent,
I say
you may
wanna-stop-seeing Leia, now my friend!

(chorus)

I was lyin' when I met you,
I was tryin' to protect you.
Didn't want you to do sumptin'-you'd regret..

I've been dying to convey this,
You'll be crying when I say this:
Your father ain't dead, not dead yet..

(repeat then fade)

- By Gerthein Boersma



Armor of Mine (Boba Fett's song)

A Parody of "Sweet Child o' Mine" by Guns N' Roses

I gotta suit and it's really me,
It makes me a man of mystery
It's got loads of gadgets 'n' just looks really cool! <cool, cool>
Now and then, I just kill a guy,
But I never get killed, and my suit is why.
'cause if I didn't have it, I just be a bumblin' fool!

Glad-I-got-that Armor of mine
Sure beats a hat-that-Armor of mine

From a store, down on Mandalore, I--
got it for half price;
It has a jetpack and lots more,
It's really rather nice!

It squishes Rebels like their really ants,
it can kill an-Imperial Moff,
I'd really rather wet my pants
than ever take it off!

Wowohoh, Armor of mine,
Woo! Oh-oh-oh, Armor of mine!

(guitar solo)

It's a real neat Gimmick of mine,
Ooh, ooh, you just can't beat.. Armor of mine

No, no, not *even* Palpatine! (Woo-hoo yeaheah..)
You can't defeat Armor of mine!

(guitar solo)

<Looks really cool,
looks really cool now.
Looks really cool.>

<Looks really cool,
looks really cool now.
Looks really cool.>

Looks really cool.. <ar-mor> looks really cool now,

Ayayayayayayayay.. looks really cool now!
Looks really cool! Aaah-oh! Looks really cool now,
Looks really cool... Looks really cool now,
Looks really cool... Looks really cool now.. nowowowowowowow..
Armor..
Armooooooor... Armor of mine!!

- By Gerthein Boersma


I Think I'm a Clone Now

A Parody of "I Think We're Alone Now" by Tiffany (and before that, the Beatles) sung by the Imperial Stormtroopers

Stormtroopers be brave, that was the order from Lord Vader
And blast 'em away, but we all failed and so we're...

Shooting everything that we can,
Watching Vader chop off Luke's hand,
Can't let 'em get away, into the TIES!
And then we power up the engines and we lift of of the ground and
then I say...

(Refrain:)

I think I'm a clone now,
I see my own face when I look around
Yeah I think I'm a clone now,
The static of my com-link is the only sound

Look at the way
We mindlessly follow every order
He'd choke us right away
If we refused and so we're...

Shooting everything that we can,
Watching Vader chop off Luke's hand,
Can't let 'em get away, into the TIES!
And then we power up the engines and we lift of of the ground and
then I say...

(Refrain)

- by Erin Fencil


You Must Catch It

A Parody of "Whip It" by DEVO sung by the storm troopers in the forest on endor

when an ewok steels your ride,
YOU MUST CATCH IT
with hijacking you cant abide,
YOU MUST CATCH IT

CHORUS: chase it ! through the woods ! try to shoot it, before it
escapes ! Got to catch it, its not too late to kill it, crush it good!

moss isley girls to the tune of california girls by the beach boys

Well there was no one on alderan
so I traveled with old ben
I thought I'd meet a princess
but I got a suprise when..

I met some weird looking moss isley girls
i met some weird looking moss isley girls
I met some weird looking moss isley girls

We confronted some storm troopers
but they let us pass
old ben always scores with the girls
and I always come in last

We chilled out with some nasty moss isley girls x 4

- By Jeffery Jospeh Loyd


Untitled

A Parody of "American Pie" by Don McLean

(slowly) A long, long time ago,
Said the opening titles
Lucas wrote part four of nine
About a young man in his prime
And whether to the Dark Side he would stray.
Two droids who were named Artoo and
Threepio crashed on Tatooine.
They had to find Kenobi
In desert worse than Gobi.
I can't remember if I cried
When Vader ordered fratricide,
But I know I was horrified
The day the Jawas died.
-
And Luke was singing
Bye-bye cause this planet's too dry.
(speed up) Drove his speeder to Mos Eisley to go join the Allies.
And Obi-Wan, he chopped the arm off some guy,
Sayin' Soon, Luke, you will be a Jedi,
Soon, Luke, you will be a Jedi.
-
(rollicking) They flew off to Alderaan
But when they got there it was gone
Nothing left but asteroids.
So Solo plotted a new course
While Luke learned how to use the force
And Chewie played some space chess with the droids.
Oh, and while we heard John Williams theme,
The Death Star used a tractor beam.
Ben went to shut it down
So the others could leave town.
Luke was a lonely, teen-aged Jedi Knight,
With an X-wing fighter and a sword of light,
And he knew he had to join the fight
The day Kenobi died.
-
And we were singin
Bye-bye, it's the Death Star's demise.
It was blown up by a rebel who was code-named Red Five.
And Vader very nearly didn't survive
Cause Han picked a damn good time to arrive,
He picked a damn good time to arrive.
-
Oh, on Hoth they built a rebel base,
Two decades after Lost in Space,
So the fight could start again.
Luke got captured by a beast
Which saved him for the evening feast
Til he used the Force to help him self-defend.
Oh, and Han slit up his Tauntaun's hideB So a Lukesicle could crawl inside.
Then, alas and alack,
The Empire struck back!
As the AT-ATs walked on through the snow
The rebels cried out Tallyho!
But it was like the Alamo
The day Luke's gunner died.
-
They were singin,
Bye-bye, let us deoccupy.
If we stay here too much longer we will be vaporized.
And Luke flew off to meet with Yoda the Wise,
Sayin' I must learn to be a Jedi,
I must learn to be a Jedi.
-
Boggy, foggy, full of little froggies,
Dagobah was damp and soggy,
But that's where Yoda had his home.
He was a wizened little gnome,
Two feet high when fully grown
But he taught Luke how to make the Force his own.
Ah, but Luke's friends were in trouble deep,
With Threepio piled in a heap.
Our heroes were betrayed
Thrown in the stockade!
Oh, and by Darth Vader Luke was maimed,
Then he hung from a weathervane
And he learned Vader's real name
The day Han Solo got frozen in a block of carbonite.
-
And they were singin',
-
Bye-bye, Lando's town in the sky.
They left although they had a broken-down hyperdrive.
And Boba Fett flew off with Han in Slave I
They'd be gone til Return of the Jedi,
Gone til Return of the Jedi.
-
Then, for three years, we were on our own
While Han played Indiana Jones
And Carrie married Rhymin' Paul.
Sy Snootles sang for Jabba's chums
Like Bib Fortuna and Salacious Crumb
While Solo hung around on Jabba's wall.
Oh, and after Leia got him down
The Sarlacc waited underground.
It swallowed Boba Fett.
(The worst indigestion yet!)
And while Leia changed out of her bra,
Luke flew off to Dagobah
And he was there to hold his paw
The day that Yoda died.
-
He was singin',
Bye-bye to the little green guy.
He trained Vader and Kenobi and Luke to be Jedi.
And now he's gone to that big bog in the sky,
Saying Luke, there is another young Sky.....
Luke there is another young
Sky.....walk......errrrrgghhhhh.....
-
(slowly) Luke met a man named Palpatine,
An Emperor of bein' mean,
Who wanted Luke to be his heir.
Meanwhile, on the moon below,
Rebels struck a counterblow
With some assistance from some teddy bears.
And in the sky, the spaceships blazed;
The fighters fought, and the lasers lazed.
The battle, it was heated;
The Empire was defeated.
And the three Jedi admired most
Yoda, Ben and Vader's ghost
They all glowed blue and raised a toast
The day Darth Vader died.
-
And we were singin',
Bye-bye Return of the Jedi,
We'll wait fifteen years for sequels as Binkley prophesied.
And while we wait, we'll make do with Deep Space Nine,
Singin' May the Force be with you and I,
May the Force be with you and I.
-
(faster) Now we're singin',
Bye-bye Return of the Jedi,
We'll wait fifteen years for sequels as Binkley prophesied.
And while we wait, we'll make do with Deep Space Nine,
Singin' May the Force be with you and I.

- By Jeremy Thorpe


Battle Hymn of the Dark Horde

A Parody of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic"

Mine eyes have seen the coming of the terrible Darth Horde.
They are searching out the cellars where your vintage wines are stored.
They have loosed the fearful lightnings of their lightsabers and swords,
The Darth Horde marches on.
-
Chorus:
Glory, golry to Lord Vader! Glory, glory to the Raiders!
Here we come with our lightsabers! The Darth Horde marches on!
-
I have seen them in the Death Star marching through the corridors!
They have built a reputation as the villians in "Star Wars."
Now they're coming to your planet - it wont help to lock the doors
The Darth Horde marches on.
-
Chorus
-
Now you may fear the Empire but the Horde is ten times worse!
Better call your undertaker and reserve yourself a hears.
Today we'll take your planet - tomorrow the universe!
The Darth Horde marches on.
-
Chorus
-
(Half Tempo)
From the ashes of the Clone Wars there arose one Jedi Knight
Wearing armor black as chaos with a sword a-blazin' light.
As we know the left hand pillar must balance out the right,
The Darth Horde marches on.
-
Chorus


Blast, Loot, Pillage, Burn

A Prody of "The Mickey Mouse Club Theme"

Blast, loot, pillage, burn, blast, loot, pillage, burn.
Who's the leader of the Horde that's made for what we are?
Lord D-A-R-T-H-V-A-D-E-R!
Hey there, hi there, ho there! We'll conquer every star!
Lord D-A-R-T-H-V-A-D-E-R!
-
Darth Vader! (Obi Wan) Darth vader! (Skywalker!)
For ever let us hold our blasters high! High! High! HIGH!
-
Come along and sing our song and march with us to war,
Lord D-A-R-T-H-V-A-D-E-R!
-
(slowly)
Now its time to say goodbye - they're closing up the bar -
Lord D-A- [aaayy]*
R-T-H- ["H" is what he'll give ya!]
V-A-D-E- (pause) R-R-R-R.
-
*a la the Fonze, including thumbs up gesture.
A- [aaayy]*
R-T-H- ["H" is what he'll give ya!]
V-A-D-E- (pause)


The Death Star

A Parody of "Green Acres")

Vader: The Death Star is the place to be--
Strangling people is the life for me!
Chunks of planets blown up far and wide,
You can have Yoda just gimme that Darker Side.
-
Luke: The Light Side's where I'd rather stay,
I look lousy in black anyway.
I don't wanna be some Sith Lord nut,
I'll be a Jedi and kick Imperial butt.
-
Luke: X-Wings!
-
Vader: Black things!
-
Luke: Despot!
-
Vader: So what? I am your dad--
-
Luke: I know and I'm sad.
-
Both: The Death Star we are there!

- By maeggert@vela.acs.oakland.edu


Jedi, Jedi

A Parody of "Baby, Baby" by Amy Grant

Vader: Jedi, Jedi,
I'm taken with the notion,
To slice you with my saber with one motion.
But Jedi, Jedi,
You are I together,
Could rule the universe and we would never
Stop for a minute,
Jedi, I'm so glad you're mine.
-
Luke: Vader, Vader,
Your deceptions do not faze me.
Though your lunges occasionally daze me.
Vader, Vader,
You will never turn me,
I'll die before the Darker Side you learn me,
Stop for a minute,
Vader, you have lost the war.
-
Vader: But ever since the day,
You set your pow'rs in motion,
Jedi, I realize that you're
Arcadia's and my SOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!
-
Luke: (gasp!) Vader, Vader!
I can't believe you'd say this!
It's a dirty game, oh how can you play this?
-
Vader: My son, my son!
Always and forever!
Here for you, Jedi!
...So glad your mine!
-
Luke: Father? Father?
How could you have become this?
Well, Annakin why have you done this?
Stop for a minute.
I feel the good in you!
-
Vader: Dark Side forever!
Jedi, I'm so glad that,
So glad that you're mine!
-
Luke: Don't stop giving up.
I feel the good....
-
Vader: So glad that you're mine!

- By ss1@kepler.unh.edu 


The Death Star

A Parody of "Oklahoma!"

When the death star is newly built--
Theeee, death star,
Where the beams come down from space,
Where its great big ray
Will make the alliance pay
As it blows their planets into duuuussst.
-
It the empire's new toy,
It'll make the alliance say, "Oh boy...."
-
So when we saaaaay
You'd better run away,
Were only saying were gonna get the alliance
With a death star, it's dee, eh,eth,s,t,a,r
The Death Star-Yeah!

- By dshaffer@andromeda.rutgers.edu 


I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Diplomatic Droid

A Parody of "I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major General", from Gilbert and Sullivan's "Pirates of Penzance"

THREEPIO:
I am the very model of a modern diplomatic droid
I'm fluent in the languages of Robot, Wookiee, humanoid,
A binary loadlifter does not pose the slightest mystery,
I know the rules of protocol and also human history.
I'm very well acquainted too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news --
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypoteneuse
-
CHORUS
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypoteneuse (X3)
-
THREEPIO
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus,
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous;
In short, my masters find in me a reason to be overjoyed,
I am the very model of a modern diplomatic droid.
-
CHORUS
In short his masters find in he, etc.
-
THREEPIO
I am the very model of a modern diplomatic droid;
Adventure is the sort of thing I'd hoped that I could quite avoid,
For droids who find adventure often find that they get melted down ,
Or shipped out to the Kessel mins and tiresome labour underground.
My counterpart excels at making trouble for the rest of us,
He lured me to the desert where the jawas soon molested us,
They sold us to some farmers, and before the passing of a day,
I had to tell my master that the little twerp had run away
-
CHORUS
He had to tell etc. (X3)
-
THREEPIO
Now that were on the Death Star, and stormtroopers swarm the prem ises,
I'm hiding in the closet with that little Artoo nemesis;
And so I want to make it clear 'ere Artoo gets us both destroyed.
I was the very model of a modern diplomatic droid.
-
CHORUS
And so he wants to make it clear 'ere Artoo gets them both destroy ed,
He was the very model of a modern diplomatic droid.

- By redfive@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au 


My Day
A Parody of  "My Way"

VADER:
[paraphrased]
...At noon I have my lunch,
Of molten lead on shredded granite;
At three o'clock I practice wheezing...
I beat and whip and kill them
'Till they call me "Mr. Nice"...


"We're off to Kill the Bad Guys!"
(to the tune of "We're off to See the Wizard")
LUKE:
We're off to kill the Bad Guys,
And blow them right out of the sky!
[etc.]


"Bad, Bad Vader Man" to "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown" by Jim Croce
Well, the South Side of the Empire is the baddest part of space,
And if you fly in there you better just beware of the man with the
plastic face.
Darth Vader's more than trouble, you see he's taller than six foot four;
All the rebel folk call him "Big Black Ugly", all the Troopers just
call him Lord.
(chorus) And he's bad, bad, Vader man, Lord of the Sith, got it all
in his hand; Yeah, when you hear him wheeze it can make your whole
soul freeze!
Now Solo was a gambler who with the Empire came to blows, Cause he
liked to shoot his blaster-beams in front of every Trooper's nose.
He got a custom-crafted starship, he got a furry Wookiee too, he got a
black laser-gun at his hip for fun... but there was nothing he could
do.
(chorus)
Cause that bad, bad Vader man Came to Bespin and he grabbed poor
Han; Boba Fett took Solo away, and Vader laughed and wheezed all
day.
And somewhere off on Dagobah, Luke, he had a dream; Heard about his
friends and was off to Bespin, so mad that he could scream.
Well, he found him old Lord Vader, and the trouble soon began, Cause
Skywalker, he learned a lesson 'bout messin with the sword of a Jedi
man!
(chorus)
Oh that bad, bad Vader man Came walkin in all dark and grand; Said
that he was Luke's dad... if it's true, that's oh so sad!
Well the two men took to fighting, and when Luke went sliding down,
A part of him stayed behind with Vader way up in that cloudy town.
(chorus)
He met bad bad Vader man.. Oh he was Luke's Dad, but he took
Luke's hand! You can watch him fly away, but you know he'll be back

some day.. Yeah, you can watch Vader fly away, but you know he'll
come back some day!


BOBA FETT (to the tune of ‘Barbara Ann’)
by Jeanne Mangum
With deepest appologies to the Beach Boys
Bo Bo Bo, Bo Bo Ba Fett
Bo Bo Bo, Bo Bo Ba Fett
Boba Fe eh et
He’s the best ye eh et
Boba Fe eh et
If you have a debt
You can’t collect,
Call Boba Fett Fett Fett,
Call Boba Fett
-
Han dropped some spice
Which wasn’t very nice
Then Jabba the Hutt
Said, ‘I want Solos butt
Call Boba Fett Fett Fett
Call Boba Fett’
-
When Vader ran the show
Fett said, ‘I don’t know’
But it turned out all right
They put Han in carbonite For Boba Fett Fett Fett
For Boba Fett
-
Bo Bo Bo...etc...
-
Fett had Luke all wrapped
Til the lightsaber snapped
His gun was cut in two
There was nothing he could do
Poor Boba Fett Fett Fett
Poor Boba Fett
-
Then Solo got a hit
Knocked Fett in the sarlaac pit
There was nothing to be done
But he came back in DE one!
He’s Boba Fett Fett Fett
He’s Boba Fett!
-
Bo Bo Bo....etc....


STAR WARS LAND
(sung to the theme of Gilligan's Island)
By: Daniel Brock
-
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
A tale of a blonde-haired boy
That started on an old sand planet
And ended with a joy
-
The hero, son of the enemy
His friends were dangerous
They set across the galaxy
To fight for the Rebel Alliance
-
<lightsabers ignite and clash>
-
The battle started getting rough
The hero lost his hand
If not for the force and his dad's good side
Our hero would be damned, Our hero would be damned
-
The friends met later in a tall tree house
Somewhere called Endor
-
With
Luke Skywalker
Han Solo, too
Princess Leia
and Chewbacca,
C3PO,
Lando and R2D2
-
Here in Star Wars land.


THE BEVERLY STAR WARRIORS
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Steven Brown To the tune of Beverly Hilbilies
Well come and listen to a story bout a boy named Luke
A poor moisture farmer, he's so good you wanna puke
And then one day he was cleaning up a 'droid
When out came a message from a little humanoid
Hologram that is
Princess Leia
Well the first thing you know ol' Luke's a Jedi Knight
He's flying through the stars givin' bad guys such a fright
He blew up a death star, killed the Emeperor and Vader
Then he got into a shuttle and he flew back to Ender
Endor that is
With an Accent
So it Rhymes with Vader
The Star Wars Trilogy!!! (Banjo begins)


From Stephen Kozak

JEDI WIZARD
(parody of Pinball Wizard from The Who's "Tommy". Main setting- A New Hope)

Luke: Ever since I was a young boy
I've lived on Tatooine
from Anchorhead to Toschi
All of it I've seen.
Uncle treats me like a kid now
because I'm just a teen
R2 can tell you, that
3PO's just a big ween!

R2 ran away one day
to find a Jedi Knight.
We came across some Jawas
All killed in a fight.
They killed my family too,
those bastards just ain't right
Kenobi's on our side now
He will show them the light!

Yoda: He's a Jedi Wizard
He's got to use the Force
A Jedi Wizard
kicked some ass in the Clone Wars

Chewie: How do you think he does it?
Han: I don't care
Leia: What makes him so good?

Ben: I am the main distraction
so my friends can get away.
Even if Han doesn't like me
I still think he's okay.
Vader's getting close
looks scarier each day
Twisted-and- Evil Man
better know his Force or Pay!

Vader: When I left you,
I was but to learn,
Now I am the
Master over you (do tedoo, do tedoo)

Ben: Falcon's taken off now
Vader killed me dead
I'm just a ghost now,
I glow blue instead of red.
I can still give people orders
Luke hears me in his head.
He's flying down the trench now
Death Star's about to get fed!


From Stephen Kozak

MORE THAN A SCOUNDREL
(parody of More Than A Woman by the Bee Gees from "Saturday Night Fever". Main Setting- Empire Strikes Back)

Leia: Han, I've known you very well
You rescued me from my cell
You said I'd like it back inside
You couldn't get me if you tried

Suddenly we're on a world of ice
where the weather's anything but nice
That probe droid is out there still
Assault Walkers will shoot to kill

Here on the Falcon we could get away
Perhaps if I got out and pushed
And if they catch us now I know we will die
Oh just get us a way out of here, someday you'll be wrong
But when we get it on, I know we belong...Ohhhhh

More than a Scoundrel, More than a Scoundrel to me
More than a Scoundrel, More than a Scoundrel to me

Some ships have good rear shields
Your Falcon's not one of them
Attack position's not my thing
it's missionary or nothing

Reflecting how you tricked those guys
sticking to their blind spot
floating away with their trash,
Off to see Lando, a dude with cash.

This is Bespin, it's not right
3PO's been gone way too long
Vader's right here with Boba Fett behind
Oh, looks like we're the bait for a trap,
looks like we've been had
Now your frozen in carbonite
I'm really really sad (sad...I love you because you're)

More than a Scoundrel, More than a Scoundrel to me
repeat and fade...


From Stephen Kozak

REBEL NIGHTS
(parody of Summer Nights from "Grease." Main Setting- Return of the Jedi

Luke: Death Star Fighting, Dueling my dad
Vader: Death Star Fighting, the Dark Side is Bad
Luke: We faught once before, allowed me to land
Vader: We faught once before, I sliced off his hand
Both: Empire days, drifting away to ah, oh-ho Rebel nights

Rebels: oh well oh well oh well- tell me more, tell me more
Acbar: Is the shield down yet?
Imperials: tell me more, tell me more
Officer: we fight good, wanna bet?
do doot (ah ha), etc.

Luke: Obi-Wan lied, said dad was dead
Vader: He seeked me out, like Emporor said
Luke: I will not turn, wasting their time
Vader: Look at my mask, shines like a dime
Both: Jedi war, open the door to ah oh-ho Rebel nights

Imperials: oh well oh well oh well- tell me more, tell me more
Stormtrooper: Is my armor a sight? ;)
Rebels: tell me more, tell me more
Leia: Why's my outfit so tight?

Luke: I refuse to fight, hide in the dark
Vader: Pissing you off, hitting the mark
Luke: Leave my sister, out of this!
Vader: Why deny her, Dark Side bliss?
Both: Family thing, Yoda can't sing, to ah oh-ho Rebel nights

Rebels: tell me more, tell me more
Yoda: Sing I will, for you now!
Imperials: tell me more, tell me more
Biker Scout: Too many trees here....OWWWW!!!!

Luke: Vader's down, cut off his hand
Vader: Poetic justice, gritty like sand
Luke: Emperor's on me, electricity
Vader: I hurt like hell, better him than me
Both: Evil heat, has to be beat, to ah oh-ho rebel nights

Imperials: tell me more, tell me more
Petit: Shields are gone, this is the end
Rebels: tell me more, tell me more
Lando: Fire's coming up my rear end

Break to slow groove

Luke: There was good, in dad afterall
Vader: My boss is dead, huge fireball
Luke: Now I am, a Jedi Knight
Vader: Tell your sister, you where right
Both: Family dreams, fixed at the seams, but....Ohhh!!! Those rebel....ni-hights!!!!
Cast: (Tell me more, tell me more, tell me more!)


Dark Side Paradise
Sung by Darth Vader
From Jason Koedyker
Parody of "Gangsta's Paradise" by Coolio

As I walk through the trench in the big star of death
I take a look at my fleet and realize there's not much left.
Cause I've been killin' and bringin' such fear that
even the Emperor wonders if my feelings are clear.
I ain't never killed a man unless he deserved it,
treatin' me like a punk, you know that's unheard of.
Better watch how your talkin' and watch the Falcon,
or you and your troopers will be lyin' and chokin'
I really hate to ask cause I really know
As they choke I clench my fist and the Forces flow, fool.
I'm the evil guy the little troopers want to be like
in my dome day and night meditatin' for the future fight.

I've been spending most my life
livin' in this Dark Side paradise.
Used to be a normal guy
till I found this Dark Side paradise.
My grip is like a vise
livin' in this Dark Side paradise.
You buy, you pay my price
since I'm in this Dark Side paradise.

I have this situation, I have to face it
Luke can't live a normal life, he was raise out of state.
So now I'm goin' down with my weapon-ry
cause that halo-vision watchin' has me chasin' he.
I'm a dedicated man with ruler ship on my mind.
Got my saber in my hand and power in my eye.
I'm a tall, dark, lord, standin' in a hanger
and the Forceflows around so don't arouse my anger, fool.
I can feel Luke now, he's just a couple feet away.
"Convert me now don't make me die,"
that's all he has to say.
If he's 23 now will he live till he's 24?
If he becomes too stubborn, I don't know.

Take my hand now, Luke and try to see
that together we can rule the Galaxy

We can spend both our lives
livin' in this Dark Side paradise.
Would you please take my advise
and turn to this Dark Side paradise.
I think it would be nice
if you join this Dark Side paradise.
Or I'll kill you with laser light
keepin' this a Dark Side paradise.

Power in the Force, the Dark Side has more power.
Try it and you'll feel it, you'll make others cower.
You think you have the Force?
You think you have the Power?
Join me and I'll show you how weak you really are.
You say you want to learn,
that's why I'm here to teach thee.
If you decide to refuse,
then the Emperor will reach thee.
I guess he can't, I guess he won't, I guess he'll jump.
That's how I know I just ran out of luck, fool.

I'm still the only guy
livin' in this Dark Side paradise.
I really don't want Luke to die
he'll live in this Dark Side paradise.
Next time he'll see the light
and turn to this Dark Side paradise.
If he won't I'll have to fight
he won't live this Dark Side paradise.

I can tell you now, it is your destiny
that you and I rule the Galaxy.
Maybe sometime someday you'll know and see,
you can come to complete your destiny.


From Jonathan Davis

Born On Tatooine
By Luke Springsteenwalker
(Sung To The Boss's Born In The USA)

Born down in a dead man's town
The first kick I took was when the empire came to town
End up like a bantha that's been beat too much
Till you spend half your life just covering up
Born On Tatooine
I was Born On Tatooine
I was Born On Tattoine
Born On Tattoine

Got in a little Mos Eisly jam
So they put a trooper's rifle in my hand
Sent me off to Death Star land
With a Wookie and some guy named Han

Born On Tatooine
I was Born On Tatooine
I was Born On Tattoine
I was Born On Tattoine
Born On Tattoine

Come back home in the third movie
Bib Fortuna said, "Me chadde su goodie"
Went down to see the fat man
Jabba said something I couldn't understand

Had a sister in the rebels
I kissed her in 'Empire', it was wrong
I was surpirsed, she slipped me the tongue
She had a robot, his name was R2
I wonder if she slipped it to him and Threepio too

Down in the shadow of the cantina in Mos Eisley
Out by the shifting sands of the Dune Sea
I'm ten years burning down the road
Nowhere to run, nowhere to go

Born On Tatooine
I was Born On Tatooine
Born On Tattoine
I'm a long gone Jedi, on Tatooine
Born On Tatooine
Born On Tatooine
Born On Tattoine
I'm a whining, no good Jedi, on Tatooine


From Jonathan Davis

Rebel Days
By Luke Springsteenwalker
(Sung To The Boss's Glory Day's)

I had a friend was a big spice smuggler
For Jabba the Hutt
He could run that spice right by you
Make you like like a Ughnaught
Saw him the other night at this cantina
I was walking in and he was walking out
We went back inside, sat down, had a few drinks
But all we kept talking about was...

Rebel Days
Well they'll pass you by
Rebel Days
In the wink of Leia's eyes
Rebel Days, Rebel Days

There's this girl, a rebel princess
In the holo she sure turned my head
Me and Han freed her from the Death Star
We all nearly ended up dead
Her and her husband, Han, well they hooked up
Guess its years gone by now
They just sit around talking about the Rebellion
She says when she feels like crying
She starts laughing, thinking about

Rebel Days
Well they'll pass you by
Rebel Days
In the wink of Leia's eyes
Rebel Days, Rebel Days

Think I'm going down to the cantina tonite
And I'm gonna drink till I get ill
And I hope that I'll never become half as wrinkled as Yoda
But I probably will
Yeah, just sitting back, trying to train a couple of Jedi Knights
But time slips away and leaves you with nothing, mister
But boring stories of...

Rebel Days
Well they'll pass you by
Rebel Days
In the wink of Leia's eyes
Rebel Days, Rebel Days


From Jonathan Davis

Tatooine
By Stone Rebel Pilots
(Sung To STP's Vasoline)

One time a thing occured to me
Do I hear a distant Sandperson's wail?
Rode my landspeeder all the way home

It isnt you, isn't me
Too much sand blowing, I can't see
Going blind, out of reach
Somewhere on Tatooine

I want to apply to the academy
But Uncle Owen won't let me sail
Looks like I'm stuck on this rock alone
Banthas on Tatooine we are
Sometimes it blows my mind
Owen is on my back all the time

It isnt you, isn't me
Too much sand blowing, I can't see
Going blind, out of reach
Somewhere on Tatooine

You'll see desert and you'll see 2 suns rise
You'll meet hermits who are wise and you will

Banthas on Tatooine we are
Sometimes it blows my mind
Owen is on my back all the time

It isnt you, isn't me
Too much sand blowing, I can't see
Going blind, out of reach
Somewhere on Tatooine


From Jonathan Davis

Lighting Crashes
By Live

Lightning crashes, Luke Skywalker cries
His limp body falls to the floor
He opens his eyes
The confusion sets in
Before Palpatine shocks him with more

Lightning crashes, Luke Skywalker whines
His body spasms on the floor
The rebel closes his eyes
The confusion that was his
Belongs now to Vader, who is so tall

Oh now feel it comin' back again
The rollin' power, stronger then the mightiest wind
The force flowing from the center of the Dark Side again
I can feel it

Lightning crashes, a Sith Lord cries
Vader throws the Emperor down the Death Star's core
Vader looks at Luke with his own eyes
Pale blue colored iris, completes the circle
And puts the Dark Side out to die, die

Oh now feel it comin' back again
The rollin' power, stronger then the mightiest wind
The good flowing from the center of the Light Side again
I can feel it
I can feel it

Oh I can feel it comin' back again
The rollin' power, stronger then the mightiest wind
The good flowing from the center of the Light Side again
I can feel it
I can feel it
(REPEAT)


"Vader"

by Lawrence Chu
To the tune of the Presidents of the USA's "Peaches":

Going to the Death Star, gonna kill that bad guy Vader.
I'm going to the Death Star, I'm gonna kill me that bad guy Vader.
I'm going to the Death Star, I'm gonna kill that bad guy Vader.
Going to the Death Star, gonna kill that bad guy Vader.

Vader cut off my hand
An' he says that he's my dad
An' he tol' me I'm his son...
An' if I had my little way,
I'd kill Vader any day,
It's my destiny...

Going to the Death Star, gonna kill that bad guy Vader.
I'm going to the Death Star, I'm gonna kill me that bad guy Vader.
I'm going to the Death Star, I'm gonna kill that bad guy Vader.
Going to the Death Star, gonna kill that bad guy Vader.

Took a little nap in Han's Falcon,
Vader said to me, "Join me, son!"
I dreamed about you, Obi-Wan...
Thoughts of my sis went down inside,
Made a little room for that thought to hide,
????????????

(whining)

Gonna kill Vader, kill Vader for me.
Gonna kill Vader, kill Vader then flee.
Gonna kill Vader, kill Vader for me.
Gonna kill Vader, kill Vader then flee.

Look out!

(In the music video, at this point, there would be stormtroopers leaping out of nowhere and trying to blast Luke away. Luke, on the other hand, performs moves that only someone with the power of the Force could do and defeats them.)

Gonna kill Vader, kill Vader for me.
Gonna kill Vader, kill Vader then flee.
Gonna kill Vader, kill Vader for me.
Gonna kill Vader, kill Vader then flee.
Gonna kill Vader, kill Vader for me.
Gonna kill Vader, kill Vader then flee.
Gonna kill Vader, kill Vader for me.
Gonna kill Vader, kill Vader then flee.

Look out! 


Alderaan [to the tune of Billy Joel's Allentown]

By Jim Fisher

Well, we're living here on Alderaan
And a moon started to orbit around
Out on Yavin they're wasting time,
Flying those X-Wings, all the time
And our fathers fought the first Clone War
Our weapons, we have them no more.
And Leia's with C-3PO,
Ask him to talk, talk with him no.
And we're living here on Alderaan.
But the Death Star plans were not found,
And it's getting very hard to stay.

Well we're waiting here on Alderaan
For the plans that we never found,
For the promises Bail Organa gave,
If we were nice, if we behaved.
So the weapons melted into a ball,
But they never really helped us at all.
Never helped us along, or bought us a meal,
How to dance, how to feel,
And we're wating here on Alderaan
And they've taken all the guns from around,
And shot them into space...

Every child was a pretty good shot,
Could shoot ducks, Imps, and 'bots.
But something happened to our weapons, displaced
They gathered them up and shot into space.

Well I'm living here on Alderaan
And it's hard to keep a good man down,
But I won't be getting up today,
Because the Death Star will blow us away.
And we're dying here on Alderaan.


Speeches

by Dave Phillips to the tune of "Peaches" by the Presidents of the United States of America:

My name's Princess Leia, and I give alot of speeches...
My name's Princess Leia, and I give alot of speeches...
My name's Princess Leia, and I give alot of speeches...
My name's Princess Layyy-ah, and I give a lot of speeeeches...

Well, Han Solo, he's my man
Flies a rusty old tin can
The Millenium Fal-connnnnnn

Then you have this guy named Luke
He's a Jedi, that's no fluke
Cause, you see he's Vader's sonnnnnnnnn

My name's Princess Leia, and I give alot of speeches...
My name's Princess Leia, and I give alot of speeches...
My name's Princess Leia, and I give alot of speeches...
My name's Princess Lay-ahhhh, and I give alot of speeeeches...

Got a droid named 3-P-Oh
Talks too much, and he's so slow
Then again, that's his funk-shunnnnnnnnnn

Crazy old hermit named Ben
Was a Jedi, way back when
Won't you help me Obi-Wannnnnnnnnnn

My name's Princess Leia, and I give alot of speeches...
My name's Princess Leia, and I give alot of speeches...
My name's Princess Leia, and I give alot of speeches...
My name's Princess Lay-ahhhh, and I give a lot of speeeeches...

Got a droid, R2D2
He got the death star plans on through
To the Rebels on Yav-unnnnnnnnn

Saw my homeworld blown away
Tell the story every day
To my daughter and two sonnnnnnnnns

That's my story, sad but true
Now tell me, what would you do
If you kissed your brother with your tonnnnnnnnngue

My name's Princess Leia, and I give alot of speeches...
My name's Princess Leia, and I give alot of speeches...
My name's Princess Leia, and I give alot of speeches...
My name's Princess Lay-uhh, and I give a lot of speeeeches...
My name's Princess Lay-uhh, and I give a lot of speeeeches...


Hey, Artoo DeeTwo to (Scooby Dooby, Doo)
by dave Phillips

Hey R2D2, where are you?
We've got some work to do now
Hey R2D2, where are you

We need some help from you now

Hey R2D2, I see you
Stuck in that swamp river
You're not fooling me, cause we have to see
That the Death Star plans are delivered

You know we've got an emporer to stop, So hey R2 get ready for your act (don't hold back)
Because you know if you come through, You're gonna get a fresh new power pack

Hey R2D2, where are you?
We've got some work for you now
Hey R2D2, where are you
We need some help from you now

Oh R2D2, I see you
You're ready and you're willin'
If we can count on you, R2D2
I know we'll stop that villain....
I know we'll stop that villain...
I know we'll stop that villain...


To the tune of the Rembrandts' "I'll Be There For You".
by Lawrence Chu

So now one told you life was gonna be this way...
You lost your hand, and Darth's your dad, your family's DOA
You think about your life, does no one care?
And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, nor even your year, but...
I'll be there for you (the rain on Dagobah did pour)
I'll be there for you (and you saved Yavin 4)
I'll be there for you (your faithful droid, R2)


LUKE and YODA on Dagobah
sung to the tune of MY GENERATION by THE WHO

New words by Randy Froese

YODA (speaking)
How you get so big eating food of this kind?

LUKE (singing)
Don't you try to put me down
(please don't touch my Jedi-rations)
Cause' you're the one who's small and brown
(don't you touch my Jedi-rations)
This slimy swamp is awful cold
(I'm talking about my Jedi-rations)
I hope I die before I'm 900 years old)
(talking 'bout my Jedi-rations)

Those are my Jedi-rations,
They're my Jedi-rations, Yoda

Why don't you just f-fade away
(talking 'bout my Jedi-rations)
Stop trying to take my stuff a-way
(talking 'bout my Jedi-rations)
I'm not trying to cause no big s-sensation
(talking 'bout my Jedi-rations)
I'm just talking about my J-Jedi-rations
(talking 'bout my Jedi-rations)

My Jedi-rations!
They're my Jedi-rations, Yoda

My my my Jedi-rations
My my my my Jedi-rations!


From Deep 13 Productions
Luke (sung to the tune of "Lump" by: The Presidents of the USA)

New words by Patrick Mines.

Luke sat alone on Tatooine,
Waiting for something to happen to him.
Droids showed up on the moisture farm,
They totally confused all the passing jawas.

He's Luke, he's Luke, he's in my head.
He's Luke, he's Luke, he's Luke, his family's dead.

Luke lingered long on Dagobah,
And the dream he got was sort of rotten and it seems
Ben lied to him and Vader's his dad.
Is Luke over there hanging out with no hand?

He's Luke, he's Luke, he's in my head,
He's Luke, he's Luke, he's Luke, his family's dead.

(whining)

Luke was standing ready and without a care.
The guard pushed him off and he tumbled through the air.
He did some fairly heroic-type deeds.
Luke left for Endor at subsonic speeds.

He's Luke, he's Luke, he's in my head,
He's Luke, he's Luke, he's Luke, his family's dead.

Is this Luke outta my head?
I think so.
Is this Luke outta my head?
I think so. Yeah! Whooo!
Is this Luke outta my head?
I think so.
Is this Luke outta my head? 


Fett (the same as above)

Fett sat alone on Cloud City,
Totally emotionless, no pity,
Fett took Solo to go see Jabba,
Totally ignoring the Wookie, Chewbacca.

He's Fett, he's Fett, there's a price on my head.
He's Fett, he's Fett, he's Fett. "He's no good to me dead." 


Gonk (etc, etc, etc)V

Gonk sat alone on the sand crawler,
Totally godlike in all his power.
Gonk turned up to be like Bhudda,
Totally confusing all the working jawas.

He's Gonk, he's Gonk, he's a Power Droid.
He's Gonk, he's Gonk, he's Gonk, he's like Sigmund Freud.


From J. P. Henderson

MOS EISLEY sung to the tune of "China Grove" by The Doobie Brothers
--------------------------------------------------------------------

When two suns come up on a sleepy space port on the planet Tatooine,
and the Jawas are rising for another day round about their home.
The creatures of the town are strange,
Most are runnin' from where they came.

Well, you're talkin' 'bout Mos Eisley! Whoooa! Whoa! Whoa! Mos Eisley!

The smugglers and the troopers love their cantina,
There are no droids allowed.
When the blasters get to flyin',
The bar-tender starts a cryin',
And arms go flyin' down.
Say the cantina's insane, Crazy Old Ben again.

We're talkin 'bout Mos Eisley! Whoooa! Whoa! Whoa! Mos Eisley!

Every day there's a new bounty coming,
As well as one's that are overdue.
There's plenty of fights and shoot outs goin' on,
You can even hear the blasters at night.
And though it's a part of the Empire, People don't seem to care.
They're just some smugglers lookin' for a steal.
(Figrin D'an jams with electric guitar)

Talkin' 'bout Mos Eisley! Whoooa! Whoa! Whoa! Mos Eisley!


From CCBormann

"They Don't Exist"

To the tune of the Brady Bunch theam.

It's the story, of Princess Leia,
who was brought up on the planet Alderaan,
'til Tarkin blasted it to hell with a Death Star,
now Alderaan is gone.

It's the story of Luke Skywalker,
who was raised up on the planet Tatooine,
he was raised up by his aunt Beru and uncle Owen
who wouldent let Luke do anything.

Until one day when the princess was in trouble,
and Luke Skywalker found her distres call,
then stormtroopers killed his aunt and uncle,
Owen and Beru they don't exist at all.

They don't exist,

They don't exist,

Owen and Beru they don't exist at all!


From Jukka Salonen:

sung by the tie fighter mechanics in the tune of tha adams family
(im not so sure about the real words...)

their black and their crummy
their designer was a dummy
even the pilot suits look funny
The tie fighters.. ..... ... .. ....

their wings are made of cardboard
their no faster then a grav(=surf)board
you can see only forvard
The tie fighters

they forgot to ad the shields
and the pilots no skill wield
and no hyperdrive of course
The Tie Fighters


Craig Napoli

CORELLIAN (parody of "Unforgiven" by Metallica)

A farmboy and old man,
They come and meet with me,
To get to Alderaan.
I up the price quickly.
With a wookiee and two droids,
We go to hyperspace.
But unfortunately,
Alderaan's all over the place, yeah it was done
Ooooh, cause Tarkin shot the gun.
My money's gone away,
The Empire's gonna paaaaay...

What Ben felt, I don't know.
Stupid droids made Chewie moan.
Never get my money,
I just want fair payment.
Jabba put bounties on my head
If I don't pay then I'll be dead!
Gotta free, princess with money...
I'm a greedy Corellian.

Jedis dedicate their lives,
To truth and morality.
I just laugh at them all,
and exploit their money!
Of all the things I've seen,
Nothing makes me believe,
That one powerful force
Controls my destiny, no no it can't.
Oh, maybe on coruscant.
But it can't control me...
How powerful can it be?

Boba Fett, had I known...
I left Jabba's cash at home!
Let me free, I'll pay the fee.
Don't let me be frozen.
Anakin, you'll never win,
Cause your name ryhmes with Mannequin!
Leia'll be, saving me,
I'm a frozen Corellian.

You've frozen me, and I'll get back...
I'll throw you to the Sarlacc!
By accident, Fett'll be
Digested for 1,000 years!
Jabba, yell "bo shuda!" in vain,
As my girlfriend strangles you with a chain.
Hey Chewie, it's just me,
I'm a lucky Corelliaaan, wo-oh-oh.

And I still got money!
Damn I'm one smooth Corellian.

In these movies I never pee,
I'm a constipated Corellian.

Ewoks live in a tree(?)
They don't like that I'm Corellian.

I even hate snakes as Indy,
I'm an overworked Corellian. 


DAGOBAH'S NOT HOME (Parody of "Wherever I May Roam" by Metallica)

In the swamp I nearly died,
I was stripped of all my pride.
In Yoda I did confide,
I won't go to the Dark Side, you can trust in me.

My X-Wing sank to its grave,
Only R-2 did I save.
Yoda told me I'll be afraid...
Biggs died, Wedge ran, Han helped, Vader lived,
Chalk one Death Star kill.

And I'll read your mind anywhere,
Kick your sorry behind anywhere,
Now I hallucinate everywhere,
Dagobah's not home...Yoda's 900 years old, da-amn.

Now my X-Wing's gone, I fear.
I guess that I am stuck here.
In the Jedi ways I've grown,
Yoda says "Lift it, don't moan", I say "I'll try."

And Yoda snaps "No!" at me.
Then he says "Do...", it's raspy.
"or do not there is no try."
Jedi, Rebel, Moaner, Farmboy.
That is why you fail...yeah you fail.

And the Darkside Cave, evil's bed,
Need no weapons, that's what Yoda said.
Fought myself and cut off my head.
Dagobah's not home...just too many vines and stones.

And my friends are being trapped elsewhere,
Han's in carbonite.
And I think I'll get out of here.
Dagobah's not home...Yoda doesn't want me to go.

Now my friends are safe, everywhere.
Vader is my dad.
My long-lost sister Leia's there
Dagobah's not home, Yoda's as old as Bob Dole!

Lost my hand to the bone,
And now I'm pissed but still not home.

Dagobah's not home.
(repeat)


From Mina Skywalker

Yoda Never Knows,
By: Mina Skywalker
As sung by Yoda in The Empire Strikes Back to Luke Skywalker
(to the tune of Tomorrow Never Knows by the Beatles)

Let go of your mind and relax into the force,
I am a Jedi, I am a Jedi,

Lay down you weapons, I mean you no harm,
I am a Jedi, I am a Jedi,

Remember it is do or do not there is no try
I am a Jedi, I am a Jedi,

Must I remind you that size matters not,
Start believing, Start believing,

you don't believe that is why you fail
Start believing, Start believing,

Leia and Han will be fine in your dreams,
do not leave, do not leave,

If go I can't you not,
go face Vader, go face Vader,
go face Vader, go face Vader,
go face Vader

I am a Jedi
By: Mina Skywalker
As Sung by Luke Skywalker
To the tune of I am The Walrus by the Beatles

I hate him, and he hates me, we hate each other and we are in agreement,
but he is my dad and I should love him but he is evil
I'm crying

Sitting on Bespin with only one hand
Where is Leia and her smuggler guy?
Man, I've stupid to leave Yoda now
I am a Rebel, he is an Imperial, I am a Jedi, Goo Goo Gajoob!

Mister Kenobi, my friend Kenobi, pretty Kenobi standing with 3P0
See how I fight my pop with my lightsaber
see isn't it cool?
I'm fighting
I'm fighting
I'm fighting
I'm fighting

Word ridden filth, that Jabba the hutt
Eating up some frog thing, ponographic princess, boy my sister is one hot babe
I'm a Rebel, she is a Rebel, I'm a Jedi, Goo Goo Gajoob!

Sitting on Tatooine, soaking up some ray
if the suns don't come your on the wrong planet
I'm a Rebel, and a farmboy, I am a Jedi, goo goo gajoob, ga goo goo gajoob

Death Star Plans with the Rebels
while I'm fighting with dad- ad- ad
Can't you see how he loves me
See how he doesn't kill me fast
we're fighting

Lightsaber hitting
and the Emperor laughing
I am Jedi like my daddy
and I've kissed my sister french
I am Rebel, he now good, I am a Jedi Goo Goo Gajoob
! Goo goo gajoob goo goo gajoob goo goo gajoob goo Jedi Jedi Jedi Jedi Jedi Jedi Jedi!!!


From Sara Drucker

The name of this song is All Long Time Ago, and Far Away. Sung to All For Love by Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart, and Sting.

When Leia was captures, she sent Artoo with a message.
TO Obi-Wan, He came with Luke to save her.
They came with Han in the Falcon,
They all escaped, but Ben had died.

When the Death Star came, to destroy Yavin four
The rebels fought, to keep their dream alive
In the end it was Luke
who blew th Death Star out of the sky.

Chorus:
A long time ago, and far away.
An emperor ruled over the galaxy, he killed the Jedi
A long time ago, and far away.
The rebels had to fight, for the side of light.
A long time ago, and far away.

Then Vader sent bounty hunters for them.
And they fled, to Lando for safty.
Luke trained with Master Yoda
Luke lost his hand to save his friends.

Chorus:
They saved Han from Jabba
and took out his whole palace.
Luke learned about his past.
And fought the emperor.
While Han and Leia got help on Endor.
The Emperor died with the death star

A long time ago, and far away
An Emperor ruled the galaxy, he killed the jedi.
A long time ago, and far away.
The rebels had to fight, for the side of right.
The Emperor had died, Darth Vader had died.
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away.


From Kimberly Lugar

"Don't Cry For Me Alderaan" (to the tune of "Don't Cry For Me Argentina")
Sung by Princess Leia

It wasn't easy, I thought it strange
That Tarkin could see through my lies.
You don't believe me.
All that you see is a girl you once knew,
Although her hairdo has changed
And she's feeling sorry for you.

I had to let it happen, the only way
To save all those poor rebel worlds,
Those poor Outer Rim worlds so out of it all.
So I let him destroy you.
I saw through my tears your fiery death,
But you will blame me for his crime.
I've come to expect it of you.

Don't cry for me Alderaan.
The truth is, I won't forget you.
Thorough all adventures, through love and slaughter,
I kept you with me,
My son, my daughter.

And as for fortune, and as for fame,
That wasn't at all what I sought.
I only thought for the good of us all.
It was a gamble.
I'm sorry I failed but I just had to try.
I wish you were hear with me now.
I'm sorry I told him that lie.

Don't cry for me Alderaan....

(Leia breaks down into tears, the ghosts of the people of Alderaan appear to comfort her and take up her song.)

Don't cry for me Alderaan,
The truth is I won't forget you.
Through all adventures, through love and slaughter,
I kept you with me,
My son, my daughter.

Have I said too much?
There's nothing more I can think of to say to you.
But all you have to do is look at me to know
That every word is true.


From TheGonets@worldnet.att.net
This song is song by Admiral ? and is sung to the tune of Cecilia by Simonand Garfunkel.

Darth Vader

Oh, Darth Vader your crushing my neck
your shaking my confidence daily
Oh, Darth Vader I’m down on my knees,
I’m beggin’ you please to let go.

Oh, Darth Vader, your crushing my neck
your shaking my confidence daily
Oh, Darth Vader I’m down on my knees,
I’m beggin’ you please to let go.
Oh, let go.

Doin’ jobs in the afternoon
for Darth Vader,circling distant moons.
Denying the hidden base,
now I realize
it was just to save face

Oh, Darth Vader, your crushing my neck
your shaking my confidence daily
Oh, Darth Vader I’m down on my knees,
I’m beggin’ you please to let go.

flyin’ ships in the afternoon
for Darth Vader, I jump out too soon,
Too close to the secret post
and now Captian Piett
looks like He’s seen a ghost

Oh, tarnation!
I messed up again
I’m down on the deck and I’m choking

Oh, tarnation!
I messed up again
I’m down on the deck and I’m choking


From sara drucker
This is a parody to the Gin Blossoms song "Till I hear it from you"

I asked but they didn't tell me
The truth about my past.
They all said my fater had perished.

Chorus
Now Yoda I feel just like a fool.
I used to think my father was so cool
till I heard the truth from you.

Owen said he died as a pilot.
I thought that was true.
Ben had said Vader had killed him.

Chorus:

I was given his lightsaber.
started training in the force.
to be like him was what I thought.
Till I heard it from you.

Now I have to fight him.
Can't step around it.
I have to try and save him

Chorus:


From Randy Froese

Luke and Vader singing I'M TOO EVIL
to the tune of I'M TOO SEXY by Right Said Fred
while duelling in the throne room

VADER:
I'm too evil for you son too evil for you son
I'm going to make you join me

I'm too evil for my shirt too evil for my shirt
So evil it hurts
And I'm too evil for Bespin too evil for Bespin
Endor and Alderaan
And I'm too evil for your rebels
Too evil for your rebels
No way they'll get that shield down

LUKE:
I'm a jedi you know what I mean
And I do my little flip on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I do my little flip on the catwalk

VADER:
I'm too evil for my cape too evil for my cape
Too evil to let you escape
And I'm too evil for my hat
Too evil for my hat what do you think about that

LUKE:
I'm a jedi you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I swing my lightsaber on the catwalk

VADER:
I'm too evil for my too evil for my too evil for my...

LUKE:
I'm a jedi you know what I mean
And I do my little jump on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I swing my lightsaber on the catwalk

VADER:
I'm too evil for my helmet too evil for my helmet
My shiny black shiny shiny helmet
I'm too evil for you son too evil for you son
I'm going to make you join me

And I'm too evil for this song


"Yoda on my back"
As sung by master Yoda
to the tune of
"Burden in my hand"
by Soundgarden
From Henry Upton

Follow me into Dagobah
as doubtful as you are
lift some rocks,n, feel the force
and fight a floating ball
Cause down below
destiny is lying beneath the muckfilled bed
so test yourself and test the power
that flows right near youre head

Oh no Hes not far
Out in the fogshine, the fog is mine

I slashed my son today, would you join me?
I lost my hand again, would you shoot for me?
I stood there in the black, Just a yoda on my back
I lost my hand again, would you whine for me?

Close your etes and use your head
I need a little help from thee
Cause light is wrong and darks for everyone
Who isnt me
Learn the force, Learn control
and unlearn everything you learned
If youre ready, you cant't call on Old Ben
so suffer with his ghost

Just a Yoda on my back
Just a saber on my belt
Just some hair on my ears
And I dont like Darth


Joining the Rebellion (The Brady Bunch)
From Bryan Gearin

It's a story
Of a lovely princess
Who had just lost everything she'd ever had
Now she was fighting the evil empire,
Specifically her dad

It's a story
Of a moisture farmer
Who was busy with two droids of his own
The left to join the rebellion
Which was far from home.

Then one day this farmer saved this Princess
With the help of a young Corellion
These three decided to fight the empire,
That's the way they joined the rebellion

The Rebellion (At-too-De-too)
The Rebellion (At-too-De-too)
That's the way they joined the Rebellion


Payin' Jedi
From David Skeen

To the tune of Stayin' Alive

Luke:Well you can tell by the way that I hang my
hand I'm a cyborged man, oh yes I am
You can see my sabers bare I give all I can, I give
all I can
I give all I can, yes I do but I teach a JUW(Jedi
Univercity for Women)
Ya outta' see my princess shes over by my big X-
Wing

Chourus:Whether your a Imp or whether your a Rebel
your payin' Jedi, Payin' Jedi
Big city spender or little Jawa squenger your
payin' Jedi, Payin' Jedi,
Ah ah ah ah payin' Jedi, payin' Jedi
Ah ah ah ah payin' Jediiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
You'd better pay theeemmm, and don't belay theeemmm
Payin' Jedi!!!!

Luke:Well I once met this guy named Obi-Wan
Told him I wanted to fight, told 'im I wasn't
liein', he said
'Oh ya better watch what yer tryin' or you may find
yourself a fryin, ya better check yer own heart an
give yourself a brand new start',

Chourus

Ackbar:Well when I give to the ones who are really
fine 'cause it's not mine, no it's not mine
Vader wants to make me think I want every dime,
every dime, but my Jedi say 'ya have recived, ya
did not need the Saturn V, we only met to do your
best and we'll see that your truly blessed'

Chourus(dying away)


From Deborah Edlund

Let's Blow the Whole thing up
by KC Gleason and Jon Levitt
to the tune of "Let's call the whole thing off"
by Harry Connick, Jr.

You say "Jabba," I say "JObba"
You say "Buba," I say "BOba"
Jabba, JObba, Buba, BOba
Let's blow the whole thing up

You say "X-wing," I say "B-wing"
You say "A-wing," I say "That thing"
Oh, let's blow the whole thing up

Oh, if we blow the whole thing up, we must part
and oh, if we ever part that would puncture my heart

I say "Star Wars," You say "Str Wrs"
I'm not gonna stop watching Star Wars just 'cause you say "Str Wrs"
Let's blow the whole thing up

** INSTRUMENTAL **

Oh, if blow the whole thing up, we must part
and if we ever part that would break my heart

So, I say "LUcas," you say "Luckas"
Pepper, what's the problem?
For we know we need each other
So, we'd better call the blowing up off

Oh, let's
(blow it up!)
Let's
(blow it up!)
I'm talkin' baby why
(blow it up!)
*A Darthin' dotin' day
(blow it up!)
dubbie Falcon yea
(blow it up!)
Boba Fettn' dooo
(blow it up!)
Oh, let's blow the whole thing up!

*scat: Slang n. A type of Jazz singing in which meaningless syllables are improvised on the melody.


From Andre Garde

Singer: Darth Vader
Song: Woo-Hah!! Got You All in Check
(originally by Busta Rhymes)

Yah Yah Yah, Yah Yah
Yah Yah Yah, Yah Yah
Yah Yah Yah, Yah Yah
Yah Yah Yah, Yah Yah

(Chorus)
When I step up in the place ay yo I step correct
Woo-Hah! I got you all in check
I got that Dark Side Force that let's me break
your neck
Woo-Hah! I got you all in check
Stand at attention on the bridge when I come on
deck
Woo-Hah! I got you all in check
If you value your life don't ever disrespect
Woo-Hah! I got you all in check

(1st verse)
Darth Vader up in the Super Star Destroyer indeed
Skywalker by name and farm boy is my seed
I guarantee to give you what you need
Tall, furry pris'ner from the race of wookiee
Turn people to the Dark Side yo I must succeed
Universal dark force make the Empire feared
Our starfighter fleet grows like a weed
Twin Ion Engines charged now I must proceed
Yo! I'm about to make you hungry til you feed
Peace to Boba Fett, Thrawn, and Lord Palpatine
Watch me knock you out with my TIE Advanced speed
Lightsaber slicin' shit making you bleed
Succumb to the Dark Side and take heed
Need more information farm boy then just read
Ay-Ya!! you can read all about the pure breed-
of Dark Jedi yo I'm the first I'll take lead

-Chorus-

How dare you ever try to step on my black shoes
Tarkin up your ass like this was Ghorman blues
PLEASE! Spare me your whining refuse
Actin' like Ewoks who don't have no clues
Yo! Let me hit you like Corellian booze
Darth Vader always headlines Imperial news
Woo-Hah!!! Yo farmer boy don't be confused
Surrender to me now or Lord Palp. will make ya
lose
I know you really want to know who's
comin' through leaving bloodstains and residues
Sorry farm boy but your force looks used
Obi-Wan's been teaching you all the wrong rules
In the Executor I strangle necks while I cruise
If you choose to fuck with me you get bruised
Now I got you in my sights as my TIE burns its
fuels
I shoot you between the eyes you poor Rebel excuse

-Chorus-

[Thrawn]
You're now rockin' with the best
Darth Vader up in the place
Straight to your door,
Kickin' all you Rebel scum,
and all you farm boys...

[Vader]
Yo! Which little farm boy stole my flow
eenie....meenie miney mo
Throw that type of Rebel right out my window
Blast your ass chop you with my lightsaber blow
Bo!! Coming through like C-3PO
Tatooine, smugglin' shit like Han Solo
Make you bounce around as if gravity was low
My facemask always shines cause its got the high
pro glow
You think that you can hide you think you can lay
low
The Dark Side always wins boy that you should know
Mad out with the Force and my black cape that flow
Forget the Rebels captain hyper out and let's go
Yo!! Take a trip down to swampy Dago-
bah, visit Yoda, green old man needs to grow
Come back with that shit that might make you
psycho
Maximum frequencies pumpin' to your list'ning post
Sorry this is it but farm boy I got to go

-Chorus-

Hah
Yo Yo Yay Yo Yay
Yo Yo Yay

. .. Yay Yo Yay
. .. Yay


From Matrix Comstar

HEY HAN, NICE SHOT
sung by Luke at the celebration at the end of ANH.
to the tune of Filter's "HEY MAN, NICE SHOT"

The first day that I met you
Was a bar in Anchorhead
Got backed into a corner
But then shot a Rodian dead

They think that Greedo's ending
Wasn't best.

But you threw some coins to the barkeep
And said "Sorry about the mess"

That's why I say hey Han, nice shot.
What a good shot Han.
That's why I say hey Han, nice shot.
What a good shot Han.

A man, has gun.
Hey Han, have fun- NICE SHOT!

Flyin' in the Death Star
With Darth on my backside.
My squadron's blown to pieces
For a target two meters wide.

You fired Darth off course
So I was all alone.
Blasted two proton torpedoes
Blew that thing and then we all went home.

That's why I say hey Han, nice shot.
What a good shot Han.
That's why I say hey Han, nice shot.
What a good shot Han.

A man, has gun.
Hey Han, have fun- oh, NICE SHOT HAN!

I'm sure glad I met you
I'm sure glad I met you
I'm sure glad I met you
I'm sure glad I met you and Chewie too.
I say Nice Shot.


From Randy Froese

------------------------------------------------------------------
LUKE singin' the blues while hanging from the bottom of Cloud City
to the tune of WHEN THE LEVEE BREAKS by LED ZEPPELIN
------------------------------------------------------------------

WHEN THE ANTENNA BREAKS by Randy Froese (aa597@sfn.saskatoon.sk.ca)

If I don't get rescued, this antenna's goin' to break
If I don't get rescued, this antenna's goin' to break
When the antenna breaks, it sure is a long way down

Mean old Vader went and cut off my hand
And that bounty hunter took away my friend Han
It's got what it takes to make a farmboy wish he'd stayed home
Oh, well, oh, well, oh, well

Don't it make you feel bad
When you're tryin' to help your friends
And everything just turns out wrong?
And then I find out
that Darth Vader's my dad
Why didn't you tell me, Obi-Wan?

Ben won't help me, Yoda won't do me no good
Now, Ben won't help me, Yoda won't do me no good
When this antenna breaks, it sure is a long way down

All I can do is hang on this antenna and moan
All I can do is hang on this antenna and moan
Callin' out to Leia to come and take me home
Here it comes, Here comes the Falcon
Here it comes
Here comes the Falcon
I'm Going down, going down now, going down...


From: Jim Fisher

Rebels on the Wall [to the tune of The Statler Brothers' "Flowers on the Wall"]

Vader:

You keep saying you're concerned about my dark sideness
But all that thought you're giving me is useless at best.
If I were swinging your saber I wouldn't worry though,
Soon you'll turn and rule the galaxy over all.
Shooting Rebels off the wall, it doesn't bother me at all,
Choking officers till dawn, with the Force, not a gun,
Finding Luke and listening to Emperor Palpatine,
Now just join me, you're already mine.

Luke:

Last night I dressed in black pretended I was a Jedi on the town
As long as I can fight it's hard to slow my 'saber down.
So please don't tell me that, it's not a good line,
You can never turn me, I'm really doing fine.
Shooting Imps off the wall, it doesn't bother me at all.
Flying X-Wings till dawn, with a squad or one on one.
Fighting with Han and Lando too,
Now don't try that, I'll never join you.

Palpatine:

It's good to kill you, don't ya think? I know it feels all right,
Anyway I know you're not accustomed to this light,
And you're not accustomed to the Dark Side heat,
So I must zap you in this room and make my day complete.
Zapping Jedi off the wall, it don't bother me at all.
Plotting with Xizor till dawn, mourning the Death Star One.
Being thrown down the shaft, I'll get you!
Now don't tell me, I've nothing to do.
Don't tell me, I've nothing to do.


From Dave Phillips [to the tune of the Flintstones theme]

Jedi! Meet the Jedi!
They're the Old Republic Protectoooooooooooors!
Then a-long came Vader
Who started killing Jedi by the scores!

May-be, someday Luke will win the fight
And bring the, Jedi back from their dark night
When your, with the Jedi,
You'll have a non-ysalimir time
A have no fear time
You'll have a gaaaaayyyyy ooooooooold tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime!

Solos! Meet the Solos!
They're the New Republic Family!
From the Planet Coruscant
They're a page right out of History!

May-be, someday Han will win the fight
And the, twins will stay down for the night!
When you're with the Solos
You'll have a good old boy and girl time
A save the world time
You'll have a gaaaayyyy ooooold TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!!!

Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!


From: Dave Phillips

Please sing along, to the tune of "The Brady Bunch"

Here's the story
Of a man named Solo
Who was hangin' on the planet Tatooine
He was with his wookie first mate, named Chewbacca
When an old man and a boy came on the scene

Here's the story
Of Luke Skywalker
Who hooked up with an old hermit named Ben
A Jedi Master, who at one time taught his father
And used his "certain point of view" time and again

Now on this day Luke and Ben met Captain Solo
To save the Princess Leia was their sole mission
Went to the Death Star, and got off with the Princess
That's the waaaaaaaaay they say-yaved the rebellion

The Ree-bell-yun (doo-dit-do-do-do)
The Ree-bell-yun (doo-dit-do-do-do)
That's the waaaaaaaay they say-yaved the Ree-bell-yun


From: Matrix Comstar

"Friends with white-helmeted Faces"
To the tune of "Friends in low places" by Garth Brooks
Sung by Darth Vader when Han, Leia, Chewie, and Lando meet him by surprise "for refreshments" in Cloud City in ESB.

Blame it all on your pack, I showed up in black,
And ruined your Bespin affair.
You trusted Lando, nowhere can you go,
He sold you out on a deal that's unfair!
And I saw the surprise, and the fear in your eyes
With the Dark Side I pulled in your gun.
I'll toast all of you, cause soon Luke will be thru
And now the Rebellion is done!

Chorus:
Cause I got friends with white-helmeted faces
With big blaster rifles and armor-shelled cases.
Got nothing to say? Well, that's okay!
Yeah, I'm not big on Senatorial graces,
But I'm protected by my TIE fighter aces!
Yeah, I got friends with white-helmeted faces.

Hey Han, there is Fett, you'll be shipped cold and wet
And delivered to Jabba the Hutt.
Leia, you'll be gone, just like Alderaan
If you don't keep your mouth shut!
Chewie, your ears, a ringing you'll hear
You'll be crying and let out a squeal.
And Lando you swine, don't feed me your lines
Pray I don't alter further this deal!

Repeat Chorus to end



(All of the above are credited when I know who to credit if anyone knows the author of the uncredited ones please let me know. Send mail to: Gremlin)
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