This has been doing the rounds for the last few years. .
Note that the '%' prompt indicates that the command should be issued from the C shell, and the '$' prompt indicates the Bourne shell.
% rm meese-ethics rm: meese-ethics nonexistent % make 'heads or tails of all this' Make: Don't know how to make heads or tails of all this. Stop. % make sense Make: Don't know how to make sense. Stop. % make mistake Make: Don't know how to make mistake. Stop. % \(- (-: Command not found. % date me You are not superuser: date not set Thu Aug 25 15:52:30 PDT 1988 % man rear No manual entry for rear. % * How would you describe Clinton *: Ambiguous. % %Vice-President %Vice-President: No such job. % [Where is Jimmy Hoffa? Missing ]. | % ^How did the^sex change operation go? Modifier failed. % who is my match? No match. % set i="Democratic_Platform";mkdir $i;chmod 000 $i;ls $i Democratic_Platform unreadable % awk "Polly, the ship is sinking" awk: syntax error near line 1 awk: bailing out near line % 'thou shalt not commit adultery' thou shalt not commit adultery: Command not found. % ar m God ar: God does not exist % ar r God
ar: creating God % "How would you rate Reagan's incompetence? Unmatched ". % If I had a ( for every $ Congress spent, what would I have? Too many ('s. % make love Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop. % sleep with me bad character % got a light? No match. % man: why did you get a divorce? man:: Too many arguments. % ^What is saccharine? Bad substitute. % %blow %blow: No such job. % \(- (-: Command not found. $ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense no sense in pretending! $ drink < bottle; opener bottle: cannot open opener: not found $ mkdir matter; cat > matter matter: cannot create (First add an /etc/hosts alias of 'elvis') $ ping elvis elvis is alive.
% cat "food in cans" cat: can't open food in cans% nice man woman No manual entry for woman.