This has been doing the rounds for the last few years. .


Unix Shell Tricks

Note that the '%' prompt indicates that the command should be issued from the C shell, and the '$' prompt indicates the Bourne shell.

% rm meese-ethics
rm: meese-ethics nonexistent

 % make 'heads or tails of all this'
 Make: Don't know how to make heads or tails of all this. Stop.

 % make sense
 Make: Don't know how to make sense. Stop.

 % make mistake
 Make: Don't know how to make mistake. Stop.

 % \(-
 (-: Command not found.

 % date me
 You are not superuser: date not set
 Thu Aug 25 15:52:30 PDT 1988

 % man rear
 No manual entry for rear.

 % * How would you describe Clinton
 *: Ambiguous.

 % %Vice-President
 %Vice-President: No such job.

 % [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
 Missing ]. |

 % ^How did the^sex change operation go?
 Modifier failed.

 % who is my match?
 No match.

 % set i="Democratic_Platform";mkdir $i;chmod 000 $i;ls $i
 Democratic_Platform unreadable

 % awk "Polly, the ship is sinking"
 awk: syntax error near line 1
 awk: bailing out near line

 % 'thou shalt not commit adultery'
 thou shalt not commit adultery: Command not found.

% ar m God
ar: God does not exist

% ar r God
ar: creating God % "How would you rate Reagan's incompetence? Unmatched ". % If I had a ( for every $ Congress spent, what would I have? Too many ('s. % make love Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop. % sleep with me bad character % got a light? No match. % man: why did you get a divorce? man:: Too many arguments. % ^What is saccharine? Bad substitute. % %blow %blow: No such job. % \(- (-: Command not found. $ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense no sense in pretending! $ drink < bottle; opener bottle: cannot open opener: not found $ mkdir matter; cat > matter matter: cannot create (First add an /etc/hosts alias of 'elvis') $ ping elvis elvis is alive.

% cat "food in cans" cat: can't open food in cans

% nice man woman No manual entry for woman.

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