American Futuristic Party 
Independent World Order 
________________________________________________________________________ 
Presidential Candidate-Xenon
Vice Presidential Candidate-Neon 
Jr. Vice Presidential Candidate-Radon 
Prime Minister-Undecided 

Platform 

Euthanasia                   
We believe the euthanasia should stay in Asia. 
Gun Control
Fully automatic firearms are required to be carried by the elderly. 
Tobacco Regulations
If a person can see over the counter in store being purchased
from, person can legally buy tobacco. 
Capital Punishment      
If  crime punishable by death is committed on a Sunday, the
guilty can not be executed due to Sabbath day (Excludes
Christmas, Easter, and Kwanza). 
Prayer in School
We believe school should be abolished and replaced with prayer. 
Drinking Age
See Tobacco Regulations. 
Internet Censorship
We believe the Internet should be abolished therefore no need
for Internet Censorship. 
Gay Marriage
Gay marriages are allowed.  However, married homosexuals are 
not entitled to the following privileges: 
Giant Eagle Super Shopper’s Card 
Elderly discounts for Miniature Golf 
Right turns on red lights 
Channels on cable TV numbered 33 and above 
Affirmative Action
The ratio of Caucasians to Minorities must be so great such that 
the board of trustees agrees to a union of minority participants 
who equal the number of bathrooms in the business, minus 
broken toilet seats and faulty light bulbs. 
Minimum Wage           
No minimum wage is needed since no money is going to be used. 
People will be paid with live animals, which can be used as food 
or bartered for other needed goods. 

American Futuristic Party 
Independent World Order 

Issues and Beliefs 

House of Woodchucks 
- The Senate should present and write every bill. 
- The House of Representatives will be abolished.  For every
representative, an elected woodchuck will take his or her place. 
- A bill is introduced by the Senate is voted upon by the House
of Woodchucks.  To vote on this, a bowl of cereal will be placed
on opposite ends of the room, each end being marked “Pass” or
“Fail”.  When all woodchucks have chosen a cereal to eat, the
side with the most woodchucks wins. 

Prime Time Supreme Court 
- Cases are aired on national television and before a live
studio audience. 
- Tony Danza is the permanent bailiff. 
- The public votes via a 1-900 number on the verdict. 

Taxation 
- Since the common currency will be live animals, people will be
taxed according to the combined weight of their total number of
animals and assets. 
- The only people exempt from taxation are citizens of a perfect
7/8th Caucasian background. 
- Taxes will be collected on the first Tuesday after the third
Saturday Before the first Monday after a full moon. 

The Environment 
- All national parks will be physically unearthed and moved to
the state of Oregon which then becomes a state-wide National
Park (And keeps it representative woodchuck). 
- All trees below the Mason-Dixon Line will be cut down and
replaced with artificial Christmas trees.  Trees cut down will
be tested for any possible cures of Pink Eye.  The artificial
trees will be required to be decorated through the months of
October-April. 
- Cactuses can be charged for assault if a needle pokes a
citizen of Maine. 

Foreign Policy 
- Euth should stay in Asia. 
- Wars will be fought with ‘Paper, Rock, Scissors’. 
- War will be declared on Canada every 31 days. 
- The United States will secretly start to usurp all third-world
countries. 
- The United States will only import goods from countries with
paved roads, and receive more than 12 inches of rainfall each
year. 

American Futuristic Party 
Independent World Order 

Duties 

President                 
-As part of the Checks and Balances system, the President
chooses the cereal used in the House of Woodchucks on each vote. 
-Chooses the color of the artificial trees placed below in the south. 
-Can pass certain executive orders of crimes punishable by death. 

Vice President
-President of the House of Woodchucks. 
-Dictator of the Boy Scouts of America. 
-Chooses which third world country will be usurped next. 

Jr. Vice President    
-An understudy to the Vice President. 
-Dictator of the Girl Scouts of America. 
-Is Tony Danza’s personal trainer. 

Prime Minister        
-Chief moderator on all Prime Time Supreme Court cases. 
-Oversees all taxation laws (Must be an astronomer). 
-Chef to the House of Woodchucks during non-voting sessions. 

New Cabinet Positions 

- Secretary of Paper, Rock, Scissors 
- Secretary of Dental Care 
- Secretary of the Amish 
- Secretary of 7/8th’s Caucasian 
- Secretary of Artificial Christmas Trees 
- Secretary of Alien Affairs 
- The Understudy of the Secretary of Alien Affairs (Must be 7/8th’s Caucasian) 
- Secretary of The Butter Churners of America 
- Secretary of Stupid People 
- Secretary of Asia’s Euth 
- Secretary of Usurped Third World Countries 
- Secretary of Secretaries 
- The Understudy to the Secretary of Secretaries (Must be 7/8th’s Caucasian) 
- Secretary of Legalizing Left Turns on Red 
- Secretary of Not Legalizing Left Turns on Red 
- Secretary of Keeping Old People Off the Roads 
- Secretary of Oregon 
- Secretary of the i.W.o. 
- Secretary of Big Rocks 
- Secretary of Small Rocks 
- Secretary of Rocks Not So Big, and Not So Small, but Just Right 
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