The Minutes of the 4-29-99 Meeting

-Why do some bathrooms have no baths?-
Resolved by a vote of 5 to 0-
Bathrooms without baths should be referred to only as lavatories.
This refers to many other house rooms with mistake names:
Living Rooms-Grandma/Grandpa Rooms
Dining Rooms-Occasional Dining Rooms
Dens-Old People with Cigar Rooms

-What is English Class Syndrome?-
Resolved by a vote of 5 to 0-
All school cafateria food is turkey.  All turkey is organic ridilin.
After lunch in English class when you have eaten food you fall asleep.
Before lunch in English class thinking about food makes you sleep.
This all results from the Aliens not wanting us to learn English
so they can control us easier and teach us publicien, their language.

-Why is Xenon's Cat a Dog?-
Resolved by a vote of 5 to 0-
It barks like a small dog (doesnt meow)
If you pet its rear it doesn't raise it into the air.
His cat is really controlled by a psionic dog.
Many psionic dogs can possess the minds of felines.

-Whats up with Denny's?-
Resolved by a vote of 5 to 0-
There are 2 'Denny's in the current US House of Reps, Denny Hastert and some other Denny from Texas (Dont care who)
They both own Denny's Restaraunts.
In their underground world the profits go to campaign funding.

-Canadian Police Vehicles-
Resolved by a vote of 5 to 0-
All 'Mounties' ride horses.
The horses in turn have to be aliens to arrive at the scenes of
crims so quickly.

-Y2K-
Resolved by a vote of 5 to 0-
Y Not 2K

-What do they do with Bagel Holes?-
Resolved by a vote of 5 to 0-
What do they do with donut holes?
They sell them.
What do they do with bagel holes?
Bagel holes are the only consumable product aliens can eat from this world,
but the government wants you to think its just a lost industry.
Really, the earth-wide supply of bagel holes goes straight to alien ships through the watertowers.

-Tank Tops-
Resolved by a vote of 4 to 1-
All shirts are made with sleeves to start.
Tank top sleeves are tied to back ends of opposite tanks, which then pull
and rip the sleeves off. 
Then a tank fires it's cannon through the top to make the hole for the head.

-Why Don't We Have Weighted Paper?-
Resolved by a vote of 5 to 0-
Winds blows regular paper away.
Paper could be weighted so it would not blow away.
In turn, make weighted paper.
The paper would be made from cut-down artificial alien trees south of 
the Mason-Dixon line.

-Pbbbbt-
TABLED-

-Japanese Words-
Resolved by a vote of 5 to 0-
Every Japanese word is short for Sampsonite.

-Democrats Vs. Republicans-
Resolved by a vote of 5 to 0-
All politicians are trend-following 10 year old babies who whine when their 'group'
doesn't get their way.
Thats why the Independents are pimps.

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