Convenient, Why is it not convenient?

During a recent outing that Xenon and Neon were partaking in, they came upon a question that just needed to be answered. On the road to browse through a car dealership (To be discussed also) Neon felt nature calling in an unbelievable way. Both Neon and Xenon wanted to make the stop.

Stopping as they went down the road, Xenon and Neon both played the chance game. They stopped at retail stores which may or may not have had restrooms. Drug Mart, BP, and others had no restrooms. This could be expected though, since these establishments hold no kind of guarantee restrooms would be available.

Next stop was a Convenient. A Convenient would have to have a restroom, Neon thought. Upon walking into the store, Neon came to the shocking conclusion that there was no restroom. This is the question that was thought upon. How can a store call itself Convenient if it doesn't even have restrooms for the typical customer to use. This would be the greatest scandel relating to false advertising ever known to America.

Our theory is that the government found out outrageous amounts of money were being spent on things like National Park Restrooms, Museum Restrooms, and the like because the American population is used to quality things in life, quality meaning having a restroom available wherever a person may need one. This was becoming a costly expense due to the number of parks, office buildings, and other government run facilities requiring restrooms.

Therefore, the government decided to buy out the greatest known chain of drug stores, Convenient. Assuming people would associate the name Convenient with the best there possibly could be in the United States, they voted to remove all restrooms in all Convenients. The plan is that eventually people would associate the absence of a restroom as still being convenient to the average person. Therefore, people would begin to believe that a restroom is not needed in every single place one could possibly find a restroom, meaning less money spent on restroom construction and maintenance and more money for building "watertowers".

Write your government officials ladies and gentlemen. Let Washington know that the American public will not stand for this outrage. We desire...no...need public restrooms wherever possible, no matter what the cost, such that the travesty that occured to Neon and Xenon that cold Thursday night will never happen again. 1

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