Heather Toney: A Story of Condoned Abuse
Heather is a single mother, not only struggling to raise her daughter alone, but struggling to protect her daughter alone as well.
In 1995, Heather met a charming youn man and they became involved. She did not know that he had been in trouble with the law for a number of years. He was raised in a dysfunctional household by parents who enabled his abusive and unlawful behavior and who blamed everyone else for their son's problems.
Heather's boyfriend started abusing her only one month into the relationship. Since then, Heather has endured being screamed at, spit upon, threatened, and stalked. She has suffered broken bones, been beaten to near death, and been hit by a car. Her friends have been attacked and their possessions destroyed by this man she once loved.
When Heather was 7 months pregnant, she realized that this was not the life she wanted for their child, so she left. Although she had tried to leave him a number of times, the unborn child gave her the strength to make this separation permanent. Heather could no longer tolerate the abuses brought on by her boyfriend and condoned by his parents. She desperately wanted the baby to have a happy, safe, and highly moral home.
The parents of Heather's boyfriend never had a nice word for Heather. After the baby was born, they went so far as to threaten taking the baby away from her. Although they chose to only see the baby on a couple of occasions, they requested that each visit be unsupervised by Heather. After the threats of kidnapping they had made, Heather was suspicious of their true intention towards the baby and therefore would not allow them to be alone with the child.
After leaving her ex-boyfriend, Heather found out that her nightmare was far from over. She was forced to move repeatedly, and her ex-boyfriend would have people follow her in order to locate her wherabouts. Heather decided it was necessary to go one step further in order to protect herself and her child. She helped the police gain evidence against her ex-boyfriend. He is now in jail and has been since October 1998, on numerous charges. His family blames Heather for his incarceration. Heather's life and the life of her child have been threatened.
Her ex-boyfriend is now attempting to establish paternity through the Child Support Enforcement Agency, an agency that should be helping her protect her daughter. His parents are suing Heather for grandparent visitation. Although they have petitioned the courts to see the child, they have made no attempts on their own.
Heather currently suffers from anxiety attacks. She has flashbacks to the abuse she suffered in the past. She worries about the future and about what abuses her child may be forced to endure if the grandparents are granted visitation. If the grandparents enabled and condoned their son's abusive behavior toward his girlfriend, would they really try to stop him from abusing his own child?
Parents are compelled by nature to protect their children from abusers. When a court awards visitation to abusive parents and abusive grandparents, they system becomes guilty of aiding and abetting any abuse the child suffers.