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GENERAL RECRUITMENT STATEMENT:
Welcome Citizen and thank you for allowing yourself to be assimilated into the Online Lemko Empire! As you may have guessed, resistance is beyond futile. As drawdowns continue to affect armed forces nationwide, the world screams out for a common enemy to confront. The Empire shall provide the answer!!!
Though the Online Empire is still a small nation, it is growing steadily taking over the world one byte at a time. Our sleeping armies, buried beneath the Ukrainian soil, will soon awaken and sweep the world with their might and righteousness. Pipe smokers will be freed from the strangling hold of anti-tobacco legislation and draw a deep breath of smoke in a new world of peace and harmony. Being willfully stupid or mean will be punishable by on-the-spot canings. Bands that suck will be sentenced to work in fast food restaurants until they come out with a decent album. Kathie Lee Gifford will be gagged and Hogshead will be allowed to print anything it feels like!
As Assimilated Citizens of the Online Lemko Empire, you all have equal votes in how your government is run. Refer any comments, praise, and/or criticism to the address at the bottom of the page. Some of you are doubtlessly saying to yourselves, "We have votes? Does that mean that mean that the Empire is a democracy and that our awe-inspiring and infallible Emperor is elected by a simple majority of its Citizens?" The answer to both questions is a resounding no. How soon you forget that the Emperor is omnipotent and has forseen all of your wants and desires eons ago. Unfortunately, the enemies of the Empire are strong and, aided by dark Powers directly opposed to the goodness and light of Lemkova, wreak great devastation upon the world and upon the gifts that the Emperor would grant you. Only through the direct intervention of the Emperor have you survived long enough to find the light and become an Assimilated Citizen...
Though you are probably filled with ecstacy at this point, having finally been found and claimed by your true masters, remember the enemies of the glorious Online Lemko Empire are everywhere! Assimilated Citizens of the Empire, your Emperor commands you to aid the fight against tyrrany the world over! Good luck and godspeed in your conquests for the Empire!
OFFICE OF ROLEPLAY MISSION STATEMENT
The Online Lemko Empire, having a limited physical presence, is forced to retain most of its military strength in the realms of fantasy roleplay. The Office of Roleplay is devoted to offering all the help, advice, and oppurtunities to Assimilated Citizens of the Empire it can.
Currently the Office offers a Play By E-Mail Campaign, sample campaigns, roleplaying links and the rough draft of a scenario. Four adventures (one of them a solo adventure) are in development.
Venture into our sister Empire in the Old World of the Warhammer universe and discover...
...a basic overview of Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay if you are not yet familiar with it.
...the Play by E-Mail Campaign: A Trail Between Two Cities.
...the adventure Discover Your Inner Beauty.
...the adventure Rats in the Cellar: The Point is Moot.
...the adventure Tanks for the Memories.
...the solo adventure Hrothyogg's Tower.
...the one and only Gnomish Champion of Chaos.
...Rupert Grazdevich, my Gnomish Jester currently playing in a Play by E-Mail Campaign.
...the scenario Christopher Robbin's Beastman Band.
Feed your roleplay armies with food for thought from the grandpappy for RPGs: D&D and AD&D like...
...an introduction to D&D and AD&D for those who don't yet know the games.
...the infamous Half-Orc Campaign.
...the equally infamous Rise of the Kobolds Campaign.
...yet another infamous campaign: the Power Behind the Throne, named years before I knew WFRP.
...Grodarg, my Flind Berserker and Journeyman Blacksmith.
...the dreaded Plaid Dragon, whom my players actually took seriously.
The small amount of heroism available from DC includes...
...Kafka Roachclip, a most unusual, but popular, hero.
Who needs a specific universe to rule when you can have a generic one with GURPS? Visit such inhabitants and scenarios as...
...an overview of what GURPS is and how it works.
...Erkek the Twilight Avenger, my first GURPS character.
...my first GURPS Vampire character, the one the only Barry White!
...my deadliest GURPS Vampire character, Domino, and his childe.
Experience science-fiction adventure in a more civilized time with Space 1889 and...
...Sir Edmund Northrup, my first and most infamous Space 1889 character.
...a campaign in development combining Space 1889 and Masque of the Red Death.
Explore the few roleplaying links that have not yet been Assimilated...
...Stewart N Thorpe's Stone Circle.
...Game Verse: The Game Universe.
...The Order of the Iron Dragon.
Links to Develop Your own Budding Empire
Cultivate the finer, more cultured habits, required of all rulers with Pipes Digest.
Find a new anthem for your budding nation (and suitable Court Minstrels) with the help of IUMA.
Visit my current base of military operations, 5th Signal Command in Mannheim, Germany.
Keep your Citizens in the know with a free e-mail account.
This page is continually under construction as the mighty Empire brings more and more under its benevolent and enlightened rule. Already valiant seekers for Truth, Justice, and the American Way have survived the inevitable and necessary transition to Assimilated Citizens since
July 2, 1997. Please send your comments, praise, criticism, questions, curses, subjects that should be covered her, and money to firstname.lastname@example.org. AD&D, D&D, GURPS, Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay, Space 1889, Masque of the Red Death, Vampire, and DC Heroes are all copyrighted and are used here without permission.
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