WHAT DO YOU CALL A PERSON WITH.....

Gjenny and I love these jokes. She was recently energetic enough to type them all out. I added and edited, so any typos are probably my own. Enjoy!




Q. What do you call a man with a car on his head?
A. Jack.

Q. What do you call a man in an Irish bog?
A. Pete.

Q. What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other?
A. Eileen.

Q. What do you call a woman with two legs the same length?
A. Noleen.

Q. What do you call a man with two legs?
A. Stan

Q. What do you call a man with no legs?
A. Neil.

Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, lying on the floor?
A. Matt.

Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the English Channel?
A. Bob.

Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, who manages to swim all the way across the English Channel?
A. Clever Dick.

Q. What do you call a man with a very small penis?
A. Justin.

Q. What do you call a man with a really short haircut?
A. Shaun.

Q. What do you call a man with eight carpets on his head?
A. Achmat (for those who can count in the appropriate languages).

Q. What do you call a woman with a bucket on her head?
A. Emma (ditto).

Q. What do you call a man, chopped up into little pieces and put in a pot?
A. Stu.

Q. What do you call a man who is just the same as you are?
A. Pierre.

Q. What do you call a man hanging on the wall?
A. Art.

Q. What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
A. Cliff.

Q. What do you call a man with a rabbit up his behind?
A. Warren.

Q. What do you call a woman on the beach?
A. Sandy.

Q. What do you call a man crossing the river?
A. Arch.

Q. What do you call a man in good physical condition?
A. Jim.

Q. What do you call a woman in a casino?
A. Betty.

Q. What do you call a man on fire?
A. Bernie.

Q. What do you call a woman who lives on the side of the hill?
A. Heather.

Q. What do you call a man who lives on the sheltered side of the hill?
A. Lee.

Q. What do you call a man who travels at the speed of light?
A. Ray.


I thought for a long time about whether some of these were offensive or not. I am very sensitive about jokes that can hurt. As someone or other said (don't you hate it when you hear a really powerful quote and then forget who said it?): "nobody laughs at the sight of their own blood!" I decided that these were okay. If you disagree with me, please let me know.



please sign my guestbook come in to read about africamuse’s book choices, and search for your own


back to africamuse's place




all original material (text, graphics, photographs and programming) © 1998-2000
Sally Smith
http://www.geocities.com/africamuse




Hosting by WebRing.