ALTERNATE ENDING TO “THREE ALIENS AND A HO-BAG”
"Liz... Liz, I need you to drive me somewhere," Tess said.
"Yeah, sure," replied Liz. 'What the fuck? Now I'm her chauffeur?' she thought.
They drove in silence to the base. Liz was thankful that Tess didn't insist upon talking.
"I might as well do one good thing with my life," Tess said to Liz as she opened the car door.
"You're not going to let them take you alive, are you?" Liz asked.
"No," replied Tess, stepping out of the car and closing the door.
Liz reached under the seat and pulled out a small black case. She opened it and smiled at the metal objects it held.
Tess approached the chain link fence.
"Neither am I," Liz said to herself as she calmly screwed the silencer onto the barrel of the gun.
Tess held out her hand and burned a whole in the fence. She stepped through and started walking toward the base.
Liz quietly got out of the car and held out the gun.
"You're not coming back this time, bitch!" Liz said softly as she squeezed the trigger. She suppressed a laugh as the back of Tess's head exploded, the result of a perfectly aimed shot.
Liz walked up to the body and rolled it over. She pulled out a Polaroid camera and took several pictures. 'Maria's gonna love this!' she thought. She pulled a piece of paper out of her jacket and wrote the words 'Here's your alien' on it, then quickly drove away.
Liz woke up happy. She'd had a wonderful sleep, despite being cramped on the floor of Michael's apartment. Max came into the room and saw Liz was awake.
"Do you know where Tess is?" he asked. "She's gone!"
"Nope," replied Liz. "But I have this strange feeling that the Air Force won't be bothering any of us anymore."
May 16, 2002