I'd call it a home page, but I'm at work. Even if I was home, I wouldn't call it a home page, 'cause I don't live in it. Don't like it? Deal. I'm doing this for my enjoyment, not yours. Any enjoyment you derive from viewing this page or any link is not my fault. You're just sick.
Now that we have that clear, let me explain the reason for this page. I'm bored. I woke up entirely too early this morning, so instead of sitting around being bored at home, I came to work so I could be bored here. Then I decided to do this. So now I'm not bored. So why am I doing this? 'Cause if I stopped, I'd be bored again. Makes sense, doesn't it?
Okay, let's get on with this. Want to know more about me? I didn't think so, but this is punishment for not liking the name of this page. I'm 40, divorced, with two daughters, ages 20 and 18 (so have pity on me), I'm a computer operator (for a more complete job description, click here or here),and I've worked with various computers and operating systems for over 20 years. When I started, they were huge and had switches on the front and blinking lights and all that. Neat stuff back then. Really big paperweights now. Lemmesee, what else... I live in Buffalo, NY, along with a bunch of other people who think lousy weather builds character as well as a great football team.
Wanna see a picture of me? Why am I famous?
Had enough? Too bad. I told you, this is punishment. The only way to escape is to send me e-mail telling me how much you like the title of this page. Don't send anything derogatory or you'll never get out. You'll be stuck here forever. Really. No, really.
I have a dog. His name is Dog. Don't like the name? Deal. It's too late to change it now.
Some things really piss me off. Some things don't.
Oh, and if you're wondering why I'm on Sunset Strip, it's 'cause I had this, and I thought it would go good here. Then they went and stuck me in the Alley next to the dumpster. Do you think they're trying to tell me something?
Of course, there's my annual Christmas Greeting. Wanna know where that came from?
Holy cow, this page actually won an award!
I guess you've been punished enough. You can go now. I have work to do. Thanks for stopping by. Wait! Before you leave, check out the way cool lynx.
(hey!, that's my lucky number!) entities have been sucked here against their will.
Fifteen (that funny smell is my foot -- I took my shoe off to keep count) sent me
Oh, just one more thing. And you thought you were having a bad day.
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"Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they're OK, you're it."
This is really tiny text. It really has no meaning except to fill space.
Okay, now you can go.