The Basement

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Lost in Stillness A Daily State of Mind The More I Want .. MY WIFE .. MY EVERYTHING ..

Some of a very special friends poems
Clouds THE WORDS I CANNOT SPEAK

Lost in Stillness

To teeter on a tightrope ...
Afraid to look down ...
Looking back to see where the rope went ...
Feeling how thin it is beneath my feet ...

Staring ahead into nothingness ...
Getting lost in an emptiness ...
Feeling empty inside ...
Lost in where to fill up that space ...

A pause to feel sure ...
Reaching down ...
Is it there ...
Sometimes I wonder ...
Hard to feel when numb ...

With nothing but my balance in my hands ...
Even hard to feel that balance ...
What happens if I lose that ? ...
Just thinking that has made me stop ...

Going forward is hard ...
But there is nothing to go back to ...
There is safety in stillness ...
How long can one stay still ...

A Daily State of Mind

to be Happy
but feel so Sad
Bitter it is over
Glad it had ever been

strange felling to be Happy again ...
tempered with Sad times of aloneness ...
Bitter not being able to share with the one I loved ...
still Glad once again I can feel at all ...

Happy to laugh , things that I used to joke about ...
Sad not to make you smile and laugh with that joke ...
wishing that those Bitter feeling you have could subside ...
Glad to enjoy laughing , even just a brief pocket of laughter ...

not as Happy to hear , life must go on ...
Sad to know that you go on not caring for me ...
wanting to understand all the Bitter that comes from you ...
Glad not to feel so much hatred as you do for me ...

why is the Happy so brief ? ...
and the Sad so overwhelming ? ...
being Bitter is so easy , understanding is hard ...
Glad to take the harder route , too understand maybe later ...

it may be longer , yet Happy to go that way , to feel better ...
Sad knowing you walk down the other path , not knowing why ...
Bitter in that , means I have wronged you , but towards myself ...
Glad not to be full of resentment , causing too much pain ...

of simple facts to state ...

Happy not to hate ...
Sad not to talk ...
Bitter should be just a taste ...
Glad to have that time at all ...

wished to make you Happy ...
for that to never happen is Sad ...
life goes on , I won’t be Bitter ...
remembering the times that made me Glad ...

all of this is a ...

Daily State of Mind

The More I Want....

The more that is lost ...
It is more that we will lose ...
The more hurt I feel now ...
Even more the hurt will be later ...
The more confused Iam now ...
More and more I want the confusion to end ...

The more I want honesty and truth ...
Can more of this be what is to come ...
The more I hope this will end ...
It is more that Iam afraid it will ...
The more I want to be with you ...
Even more I feel you don’t want to be with me anymore ...
The more that you tell me I’ve hurt you ...
More and more I feel the need to make it better ...

The more time we spend apart ...
Can more of that be what I expect ...
The more that you need to think ...
It is more that I feel Iam not thought of ...
The more that you need time ...
Even more I feel our time is at an end ...
The more that you keep your distance ...
More and more I feel the distance will grow ...

The more that you tense when we touch ...
Can more tension be what’s to come ...
The more that I feel “UP” when we are together ...
It is more “DOWN” that I feel that we are really apart ...
The more I want us as one again ...
Even more it seems that will never be ...
The more I want to tell the lady I love .. just that ...
More and more I hear that she doesn’t feel the same ...

The more that I hear “How is your wife “...
It is more that I hurt inside ...
The more that I hear “Aww .. your newlyweds” ...
Even more Iam torn apart inside ...
The more that people say “It is very hard the first year”...
More and more I doubt it is supposed to be this hard ...

The more I hear all these things ...
Can more be worse than it being over ...
The more I want to hear that you want to come home ...
It is even more time makes me think I will never hear it ...
The more that ”Time will tell” ...
Even more the time has told you little or nothing ...
The more that “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”...
More and more the absence has brought contempt ...

The more that I do to make it all better ...
Can more I do matter at all ...
The more that my anger has said terrible things ...
It is more hurt I feel that you are
no longer in love with me ...
The more that in anger I have confused you ...
Even more I can never forget
“I’m not in love with you anymore” ...
The more that I want for us to forgive and forget ...
More and more I see resentment will never let it be ...

The more that I tell you I won’t say those things anymore ...
Can more be all you will expect ...
The more I want us not to separate ...
It is more inevitable that separation comes ...
The more that you say it’s not a real separation ...
Even more that has what it has become ...
The more that we stay separated ...
More and more it is that will not matter ...

The more that I feel that you won’t care after time goes by ...
It is more I need you to see inside of me ...
The more that you see all that is bad ...
Even more I try for you to see the good inside of me ...
The more that you see the person that I became ...
More and more I will show you that Iam the
man you fell in love with ...

The more you don’t give me a chance to show you ...
Can more chances slip by to prove to you Iam the person you loved ...
The more I want your confusion to end ...
It is more confusion that I feel ...
The more I want to understand ...
Even more I need you to be understanding ...
The more I want you to make a decision ...
More and more you must decide what you want of me ...

The more I want you to tell me these things ...
Can I be those things that you want ...
The more things can change ...
It is more hope we will feel ...
The more things stay the same ...
Even more our life will deteriorate ...
The more that I will try to be what I should be to you ...
More and more I need to show you that is who Iam ...

The more I want to care for us ...
Can I once again have the chance too ...
The more I want you to call ...
It is more that I see you won’t ...
The more I want to talk when you call ...
Even more there is a rush for you to get off ...
The more I want the phone to ring ...
More and more when it does I feel the pain of it not being you ...

The more I want to believe in you ...
It is more the actions I can’t believe ...
The more I want faith to grow ...
Even more mine towards you is shrinking ...
The more I want to make it work ...
More and more the past comes back up to haunt me ...

The more that past comes up ...
Can forgiveness come in the future
for all off the past ...
The more I want back the home we shared ...
It is more that I see it carried away ...
The more I see the special things that are us ...
Even more I want to hide them away ...
The more I want to push them aside ...
More and more I see you already have ...

The more I want that home to be us once again ...
Can more of it all disappears right before my eyes ...
The more this time goes by ...
It is more precious I realize how time is ...
The more I want our time to last forever ...
Even more reality “slaps my face” to the fact that
nothing is forever ...
The more I want everything to be” well and good” ...
More and more it has turned bad and then worse ...

The more I want to work on turning it around ...
Can more of the bad be what will come ...
The more I want this all off my shoulders ...
It is more that I try to hold it all together ...
The more I want to hide away ...
Even more I want to show and tell the world
how lucky I was to find you at all ...
The more I want to run away from it all ...
More and more I want you to run to me and to hold me ...

The more I want to live the rest of my life with you ...
Can that be what you want from me ...
The more I want the two of us to be as one ...
It is more that if we are not I need to go away ...
The more I want for the pain to be over ...
Even more painful it will be to leave here ...
The more I want to runaway for myself ...
More and more I would rather spend my life with you ...

The more I want to share that life together ...
Can it more be that is not what you want
but are afraid to tell me ...
The more I want the absolute truth ...
It is more that I fear it ...
The more I want to know why I don’t feel the truth ...
Even more I have to find out if that is what it is the truth ...
The more I want the unconditional truth ...
More and more painful it is that I don’t hear it from you ...

The more that I don’t believe Iam hearing the truth ...
Can more of these type of lies be more of what’s to come ...
The more that happens ...
Can it not be long for us not to care at all ...
The more I want the phone to ring ...
Can more disappointment come from silence ...
The good and bad about this is , there will always be more ...
I will always want more of you , and more to be with you ...

MY WIFE .... MY EVERYTHING ....

The Apple....
My wife is the apple of my eye ....
The fruit my very eyes search for ....
Has that apple fallen far from the tree ....
How sad it is that the apple has rolled so far away from me ....
If I reach out will that apple be mine to pick up again ....

The Cream ....
My wife is the cream in my coffee ....
A sweet cream , but tart at times to leave a sour taste in my mouth ....
A tartness not bitter , but sweet in it’s own way itself ....
That sweetness is like a craving ....
Like a craving for understanding , happiness , and most of all love ....

The Light ....
My wife is the light in my life ....
The light that has made me see clearly ....
To see what’s the most important in life ....
Your brilliance has been extremely illuminating ....
So bright that I now can see what’s important and right again ....

The Queen ....
My wife is the queen of the castle ....
Where we can serve each other in happiness ....
So in that kingdome of happiness together we can thrive ....
So we can build our kingdomes castle from trust and caring ....
A castle of sharing and love for our journey in life together ....

The Everything ....
My wife is my everything ....
The everything in my world ....
Your the everything I hope for in life ....
Your the everything I hold near and dear ....
Your the everything I want out of life ....
Your the one I want to share that life with ....
The one I care for more than anyone ....
The one that I want to understand me more than anyone ....
My wife is the one I love more than anyone ....
My wife is the one that means more to me than anything ....
My Wife .... My Everything ....

And now just a couple from a very special friend to me
Clouds

I saw a gleam in your eye
It matched my own.
Then a cloud came
The gleam was gone.

I felt the warmth of your embrace,
I felt happy to be in your arms,
Then the Cloud came,
The embrace was gone.

I enjoyed the tenderness of your kiss
The warmth of your lips brushing against my cheek
Again that Cloud
The moment was gone.

That cloud that haunts you,
Will not stare into your eyes,
Embrace you,
Or relish the feel of your kiss.

For clouds drift away.
I am Here!!!
Real and Tangiable,
But only you
Can get Rid of the Clouds.

By Adie Cennamo
THE WORDS I CANNOT SPEAK

I can speak of so many things,
openly and honestly.
I can share so much of my life,
freely and unecumbered.
I can discuss my experiences,
with depth and knowledge.
I can reveal my mistakes,
without shame or remorse.
It is the Words I Cannot Speak
That need to be said.
I fear those words,
for they've betrayed me once.
I despise those words,
for they've left me vulnerable.
I detest those words,
for they've left an emptiness within me before.
I listen to your voice,
I hear your heart,
and I think of...
THE WORDS I CANNOT SPEAK
By Adie Cennamo
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