Make sure you check out the whole page as there are many links below,
that just might make that difference for you.
"This dedication is to a very special person,
touched many more lives than he ever knew."
He will always be remembered as a dedicated husband and father who worked hard
"Gary You'll always be OUR BEST MAN!"
ya, Scott and Zondra
Below is a picture of Gary toasting Scott and Zondra on their wedding day Aug. 1989,
you'll see our tears falling upon the picture as we morn..
1959 - 2000
"Gary's Story from Scott and Zondra's house on June 10, 2000"
Scott and Gary are brothers 2 years apart Gary being the older of the two,
Scott always considered him his best friend even when he hadn't talked to him in a while.
Gary was a clown, if he could get you worked up over something he was happy. He would
give you that half ass grin that used to make you smile no matter how you were feeling
at the time! He was having marital problems with his wife of 20 years. She had left him
and the children many times during their 20 yr relationship. So when he called us Wednesday.
June 7th 2000 and told us she had left again it was no big surprise. He told us that it still
hurt but that he had the electric and phone turned on in his name and that he had an
appointment with a lawyer regarding a divorce next week. As far as we knew he was
going to start over this time and that was great. Everything seemed to be going fine. On Sat.
June 10 2000, Scott was going to the lumber store to get lumber to build a deck around
the pool we had just installed and I was on the computer when the phone rang. I answered
the phone and it was a friend of Scott's which was strange because he doesn't call very often.
I remember distinctly, Scott saying, "what do you mean what's going on", and at that time before
any thing else was said I knew Gary committing suicide, I don't know how to explain it but I
knew. In that second Scott told him he had to go and slammed the phone down yelling,
"Gary shot himself I gotta go help him" as he was crying hysterically, and I was right behind him as he ran
to the car, I fell and cut my knee but pure adrenaline got me up and right back behind him again
yelling you can't help him if you have an accident trying to get there. Luckily he didn't even have the
car keys but we both were in such a state of shock that we just weren't thinking, just moving.
When we got up to the house his wife and children were there and the rest of the family
and some of Gary's best friends. The only thing that we had that I don't see in allot of the stories is
that Gary had left letters for everyone. And believe me that didn't make it any easier.
And the one that explains it all is the one that he left for his wife and children.
He thought he was a loser and he was not a loser. Although the family knows
what he wrote in the letters we still ask ourselves why would he do this to his children. What made
him change his mind about his plans to go on without her. Why did he not let anyone know what
he thinking, or were the little things he said pleads that we didn't catch on too. Why did he not
call us he knew we were all there for him, that is something that he made very clear in his letters.
He knew we were there behind him
Then tell me why,
You would do something so hurtful to yourself."
never saw the signs until after the fact. We would never have thought he
something like this. This is something that happens to other families not ours. As he had
watched his best friend from childhood go through the same ordeal many years earlier.
When his brother Bart committed suicide. Bart was Scott's best friend from childhood.
And then there was Scott's other friend Greg, who's brother also committed suicide.
Scott and Gary had talked about it before and both agreed that they could never do
something like that. What ever it was that made him change his mind has changed our
lives forever and made us more aware of reading between the lines.
we will go on with out you here, but not a day goes by that you are not
Many times with smiles and laughter
and many times with tears.
We will always remember that stinkin little jackknife that you would use
to poke us with when we weren't looking and that nasty little half ass grin!
"Now you are in an angels arms safe from harm."
is a letter that a very dear friend wrote to Scott after Gary's passing,
he is the friend who call us that unforgettable day June 10, 2000.
And we love him with all our heart!
Thanks for being there!
are some links I have found that are good resources.
Always remember that there is help out there,
all you have to do is look and ask.
People Care and if you can't seem to be able to talk to your family members,
there are others out there that you can talk to and they want to help you.
Give it a chance, You've taken chances all your life take one more.
Ask for help!