For The Record
Volume 6, Issue 2, Number 1

Feb. 16, 2002

stealth baby's Speach

stealth baby
stealth baby's speech has improved dramatically - of course, he's still very delayed, and half of the words he says are wrong, but there has been noticeable improvement. The one morning, very early, he was up (of course) and laying in bed with us, and in the distance you could faintly here a train whistle. So stealth baby's head popped up and he exclaims "Choo-Choo!" It was like the light bulb went off in his head. Up until that time he would say some words, but only when prompted. It was like, at that very moment, stealth baby suddenly realized that he could independently say things. So, since that time he has been much more verbal. But he is still very behind, and it seems like many of the words he says plain wrong. Like, kitty and Precious are both "Key", and dog is "gog" However, my quality of life has greatly improved because he can now say "thirsty!" Yippee! A useful word other than "no".

We had our "home visit" last Friday. The woman came to watch stealth baby in a familiar environment and to have me fill out a bunch of silly forms. It is simply amazing what the state considers important. I had to sign all these forms saying I "know my rights as a parent" and that if I disagree with their assessment I can "quit" the program or join another program. It was very odd. I'm thinking, I'll bet if I don't like the program an quit paying (therapy is NOT cheap by the way, we are talking like weekly grocery money) that I would get removed from the program pretty darn quick! I'm wondering if there aren't some parents who are very leery of getting involved in anything government run, and maybe these forms are an attempt to let people know the government isn't going to grab your child and send them off to special education schools for the rest of their lives. This isn't much of a concern for me since, obviously, I'm super mom and nothing gets between me and what I think is best. Hubby is definitely not a "pro-government-intervention-in-my-family", so he was very paranoid about letting this woman in our house for any reason. I guess, it could be some social worker trying to see if I'm an abusive mom or something. Happily, neither stealth baby nor Precious (Pumpkin was at school at the time) had many visible bruises. (I'll have to tell you about the bruise on Precious's head if I have time.)

On Wednesday Feb. 29 we are going to have a massive 3 to 4 hour session with a speech pathologist and a physical therapist. They are going to observe how stealth baby eats, how he breathes, how he plays - everything about him to try to pin down exactly what the best treatment will be. It may be that they tell me he's actually totally normal and I'm only over reacting. I doubt it, but that would indeed be good news. I'm so happy that he's speaking at all, so it's depressing to realize that he still has a far way to go.

In other news he's as hyper as a hummingbird. This is also a large change since Christmas. Lord is he mobile - I mean, he makes Pumpkin look normal, and the doctor has already told me that Pumpkin is hyperactive. Dad and Terri came up a few weeks ago, and we went out to eat. While there I don't think stealth baby sat still for more than 3 minutes at a time. I felt like one of those TV interviewers that is sent to the zoo on assignment to talk about the new baby monkey - and there he is trying to talk into the TV camera all the while the money is biting his ear and pulling his toupee off. That was me at dinner! I would have needed 20 hands to keep stealth baby amused. Busy BUSY boy! And he doesn't sleep! Well, that's not true, today he took a 2 hour nap. But yesterday is nap was 45 minutes. He now goes to bed a 8 and gets up at 6:15. Sigh. Which makes for unhappy mommy and daddy. Hubby in particular fondly remembers the days when stealth baby would go to bed at 7. The other day was a tough one and there was Hubby trying to shove a screaming stealth baby in the crib at 6:45. I'm like WHAT are you doing? He is SO not ready for bed. And, God forbid if he does fall asleep now he's going to get up at 4AM! So stealth baby is our ball of energy.

He also seems to be a sugar junkee. He gets absolutely drunk on it. Funny story. So we are going to 8:30 mass. It is Hubby's turn to get up with the kids on Sunday while I sleep in (I get up on Saturday and Hubby can sleep in until 9). So I specifically told Hubby, do NOT give them any sugar for breakfast or we will have the mass from hell. Well, at 7:30 when I got up I had the beginnings of a sinus infection so we didn't go to mass. (Last Sunday's mass was about the worst in my life, and I was so not up to that struggle today) At 9:30 I finally struggle downstairs and stealth baby is vibrating. I say to Hubby, gosh, what did he have for breakfast? And Pumpkin pipes up, "Daddy gave us chocolate donuts!" I must has shot daggers at Hubby and am like, I hope this was AFTER I said we weren't going to make it to mass! However, Hubby now finally agrees that sugar is indeed a bad thing. (Duh!!!) I always wondered why the kids were so horrible on Sundays - I think Hubby gives them junk whenever I'm not around. This may also be why stealth baby gets cranky in the afternoons! Heck, he probably has a headache!

Mass from Hell: Mom came up last weekend (we had a GREAT time!) So, on Sunday we go to 8:30 mass and sit in the closed off baby room. Note, this room has the same women I see in mass on Thursday and Friday and that, thanks to mom's presence, we finally have a 1 to 1 child/adult ratio. stealth baby was absolutely HORRIBLE! I have never been so ready to strangle someone in my life! And sitting next to us is this woman with 7 kids! (Her youngest, Gabriel, is 3 months.) stealth baby was absolutely all over the place! In desperation I finally had to take him OUTSIDE. Oh how I wanted to kill him. I was so mortified. So last Friday I was at the women's Lenten Gospel Reflection and that woman was there and I mentioned how inspired I was by how well her children had behaved in mass. So she smiles at me and says - "you're the one with the toddler who was" [motion hands waving frantically over head] "Your baby kept all my kids really entertained." So we all shared a good laugh. Now I've got to get my courage up to try again.

Kids in General:
Well. Our kids currently look abused. stealth baby chases the cat under the damn bed, and of course I can't get him under there. I have no idea what happened but the other day he immerged from under the bed with big scratches on his leg, his arm and one scratch by his eye that still hasn't healed. I'd say the cat got him, except Kitty is declawed. Anyway, the weekend mom was up we took care of the kids basically all weekend. On Monday Mom and I took the kids to the Children's Capital Museum. So I was gone until like 2pm. Meanwhile on Sat. all day Hubby was at a computer show with 2 buddies (he's such a doll, of course he call's from work on Thursday to ask if it would be OK. And I'm like, my mom will be here, you can disappear if you want.) So on Sat Hubby is gone from 9am to 3. Then on Sunday mom and I take the kids to the grocery store and to the book store, and then spend a lot of time playing dinosaurs. And, as I said, on Sunday I'm gone all day. So I feel like I've had the kids all weekend, and I even called Hubby as I was leaving the museum saying I needed some serious downtime. Well, Hubby has reached coma level. 3 days without kids and now he's totally forgotten how to deal with them. He's trying to put stealth baby in bed at 6:45 and doesn't know how to entertain them. So I shove them in the bath and am like - WATCH them while I do laundry. But Hubby is just in a foul mood and Pumpkin and Precious are annoying him (and Not listening, which is Hubby's own fault, but I'm not going to get into that here.) So finally, Hubby's totally fed up and demands that they pull the plug and scoops up an unwilling Precious and promptly runs her head into the corner of the door. BANG Hubby just sighs and looks at me and says, "Could you help me, I seem to be having a bad day here." It actually was kind of funny. So I bite my tongue and grab a bag of frozen veggies to cover her whole forehead. Of course, if I had done this Hubby would chew my butt off. Boy did she get this HUGE lump. She's lying in bed, pitifully saying, "My head hurts. Daddy bumped my head." So I have to keep saying, "He didn't mean to" when I want to shriek 'Hello, I've had the kids for 72 hours, can't you watch them for 45 freaking minutes!!!' But Precious's ongoing sad commentary about how her head hurt and why was punishment enough for poor daddy. (Evil smile.) Meanwhile, it's now Sunday a week later and her forehead is a sick green. There we are on Tuesday at daycare; stealth baby with an evil looking scratch beside his eye and Precious with a band-aid covering up and 50 cent piece sized bruise. (Hmm, things like this make me wonder if maybe I should keep the government people away from my house too.)

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