am ready for our
baby to finally arrive. I am definitely ready. If nothing else,
it means a week Iíll get to take off of work.
Itís probably rude to put it in those terms, but seriously -- this is
the one week where I will get to concentrate solely on my family. The way
things are going for me, I may not have that chance again in a long time.
We are slowly furnishing our apartment with baby paraphernalia. Itís
been tough, since our baby doesnít actually have his own room yet -- actually,
weíd rather keep him in our room when heís a newborn anyway, so itís not
that bad. We have the carseat/carrier/stroller, and we bought a high chair,
and a rocking chair, and a nursery organizer, and my wife just today bought
a nice baby bathtub from a thrift store (for the grand total of $2.95)
-- and everything we havenít thought of yet has been purchased by any of
my wifeís gazillion friends and acquaintances out here.
Thereís another reason that Iím ready to get on with this -- pregnancy
does not become my wife. Oh, she looks great, and she enjoys the thought
of the baby inside her, but physically, itís been torture. She has moved
into what seems like Phase II of morning sickness. I think itís because
her stomach has been squashed so much by the baby that she canít keep much
food down, but luckily she doesnít take my opinion seriously.
had this strange set
of dreams last night. Or maybe it was one big dream; I donít know. All
I know is that I didnít a really good nightís sleep, especially with these
strange dreams going on.
First, I was at an amusement park. I think Iíve mentioned before that
there is a specific non-existent shopping mall that Iíve created solely
for my dreams. It has shown up probably half a dozen times. Well, Iíve
got an amusement park, too. Iíve been to a lot of amusement parks in my
lifetime, and trust me, this one doesnít resemble any of them.
I was watching a roller coaster that they had just added to the park.
It was an inverted roller coaster, like "Batman: The Ride" at Six Flags
Magic Mountain. Except this one, after going up a huge hill and through
several twists and turns, jumped off the track, flew several hundred
feet through midair, and caught the track again. While I was watching it,
though, two people fell off, but somehow they climbed back up into the
car. Needless to say, I wasn't about to ride that coaster -- even
in my dreams.
The next thing I knew, I was back in our apartment, and I was in the
bathroom, trying to negotiate with a tarantula the size of my hand.
I must have gotten him, because I was soon in Pittsburgh (again -- I seem
to hang out a lot there in my dreams). I was in my car, in a parking
garage -- except I had painted my car orange. The lot attendant wasn't
going to let me out of the garage -- I think he was trying to rip me off
somehow. I was about to crash through the gate when the car stalled
-- he had sabotaged it by pouring crap into the gas tank. I woke
up after that.
There is a condition among expectant fathers called Couvade
Syndrome, where the father has all of the same symptoms as his pregnant
mate. I have already diagnosed myself with that. I have the
weight gain, stomach problems, aching muscles, all kinds of stuff -- now
I have the crazy dreams, too. If my water breaks, I'm really
going to be worried.