Tuesday, May 2 Ė Peace Of Mind

Tears For Fears, "Songs From The Big Chair"
The Beatles, "Revolver"
Various Artists, "Listeners Wanted" (custom minidisc)
got some good advice today Ė from a rock song. One by Boston, no less.

I just happened to be listening to a minidisc of miscellaneous songs that I think would sound good while driving in a Volkswagen New Beetle (hence the name "Listeners Wanted") when this song came onÖ.

Now you're climbing to the top of the company ladder
Hope it doesn't take too long
Can't you see there'll come a day when it won't matter
Come a day when you'll be gone
I understand about indecision
But I don't care if I get behind 
People livin' in competition
All I want is to have my peace of mindÖ.

-- Boston, "Peace Of Mind"

Iíve been getting uptight about my upcoming interview, since it involves three things that cause me anxiety. (Sometimes I remind myself of Charlie Brown on the Peanuts Christmas special, where Lucy is acting as the five-cent psychologist and trying to figure out Charlie Brownís fears. She goes through a whole list of phobias, until finally coming to pantaphobia, which is the fear of everything. He contemplates this for a second, and then screams, "THATíS IT!!!", causing Lucy to go into a barrel roll.) Those three things are: 1) travelling, 2) talking to strangers, and 3) saying good things about myself, because, as you can tell from the three years plus that I have put into electronic form here, there ainít much.

Then Boston comes along, in their infinite wisdom, and tells me not to worry about my career, that I will be able to find happiness wherever I look for it, that what is to be, will be.

Easy for them to say. They have million-selling records.

But I have managed to get to the point where I really think this is going to happen Ė I keep catching myself saying things like "when weíre going to move" and "when I get my new job". I, who am probably the worst pessimist on the face of the earth, canít think of any reason this wonít work. Itís a growing company, in a great location, making interesting stuff, they seem to like me already even though Iíve only talked to an HR person, and they have several available openings.

The scary thing is, I have this sneaking feeling that Iíve said these same things before, about six months ago when an interview didnít work out, and about a year ago, when a company never even bothered to call me backÖ.


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