Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston Looking so down in the dumps Every guy here'd like to be you, Gaston Even when taking your lumps There's no man in town who's admired as you You're everyones favourite guy Everyone's awed and inspired by you And its not very hard to see why No one's slick as Gaston No one's quick as Gaston No one's neck is as incredibly thick as Gaston's For there's no man in town quite as manly Perfect, a pure paragon You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley And they'll tell you whose team they'd prefer to be on No one's been like Gaston A king pin like Gaston No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating My what a guy that Gaston Give five 'hurrahs!' Give twelve 'hip-hips!' Gaston is the best And the rest is all drips No one fights like Gaston Douses lights like Gaston In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston For there's no one as burly and brawny As you see I've got biceps to spare Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny And every last inch of me's covered with hair No one hits like Gaston Matches wits like Gaston In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston I'm especially good at expectorating Ten points for Gaston! When I was a lad I ate 4 dozen eggs Ev'ry morning to help me get large And now that I'm grown I eat 5 dozen eggs So I'm roughly the size of a barge No one shoots like Gaston Makes those beauts like Gaston Then goes trumping around wearing boots like Gaston I use antlers in all of my decorating Say it again Who's a man amoung men? Gaston!

Gaston