Colonel Nepi's Convalescent Home For Wayward Clones
With the large numbers of clones that were popping up everywhere, and the fact that they were being used pretty hard, suddenly we were up to our waists in exhausted clones who weren't interested in playing anymore.
Now as we all know, a tired clone is a bit of a drag - when you are looking for that full body massage after a long day of trawling through the gutters, and your clone is hardly able to get up off his chair . . . well, it's bound to end in tears.
Unfortunately, there were also instances of certain staff members kidnapping multiple clones for all night parties and then returning them to their rightful owners in no fit state for anything!
Call me sentimental, but I've got a soft spot for the clones - alright, I have a number of soft spots for the clones!! *evil grin* And it really bothered me to see them being pushed so hard.
So I decided to set up a rest home for clones - to give them a place where they could relax and recharge their batteries. It's being staffed by some custom designed clones, and also, in some heart-wrenching cases, by clones who just can't be rehabilitated. These poor clones were just used to the limit, and well, they aren't "up to it" anymore. But they make excellent cooks and gardeners, and they serve as an object lesson to the clones who come to stay about what can happen if you don't take care of yourself.
I would urge you to consider booking your clones in for short breaks at the home, to keep them at peak performance capability. And if your clone says he needs a break, then please, arrange for a stay for him. I don't like the idea, but if I have to, I'll be confiscating clones I think are being abused and signing them in for compulsory stays. I'd like to think we are all responsible clone owners, but sometimes . . .
Please, take a tour around the home - I'm sure you'll be pleased at the facilities we offer. But one thing - this is a CLONES ONLY home. Don't go thinking you can book your clone in and then come visit - that's VERBOTEN!!!! You'll drop him off at the front entrance and then pick him up there after his visit.
Think of it this way - if he is always with you, then how can he miss you??
What we have to offer your clone:
The home is luxuriously appointed inside and out. Each clone has a separate suite, consisting of a bedroom (usually with a sitting room) and full bathroom. There are also communal living areas, as well as a restaurant quality kitchen. There is no alcohol permitted in the home - we find that the clones are usually suffering from a certain degree of alcoholic poisoning when they arrive, so we "dry them out" for you at no extra charge!
In addition to the beautiful home, the clones have full access to our private landscaped grounds. We find the clones often suffering from a Vitamin D deficiency, due to being kept indoors almost constantly. This is despite the fact that there is a beach house available - but I know from experience that the most fun you can have at the beach house is on the inside!! *evil grin*
The grounds have been designed to offer calming, restful places to recharge those clone batteries, and maybe even work on their tans!
So, now you've seen what we have to offer, why not book your clone in for a stay? You know he'll thank you for it! And when he comes back to you, it will be like those first few days after he arrived - boundless energy and enthusiasm! Now, wouldn't that be worth the small price of being away from him for a few days?
Colonel Nepi
Proprietor