Meet the staff at Aby's Lair
When Major Abydos recovered from the grand opening (and from her hangover), she stumbled into the piano bar for a cup of good strong coffee from the Danny-clone on duty. The added bonus of getting to WATCH the Danny-barista in action was not as much a necessity as the coffee, but it was important.
Once the coffee hit her brain, and the fog started to clear, she looked around the Lair with a fresh perspective. And her first thought was:
"Oh hell! This place is bigger than I thought! How on earth am I going to manage it on my own? That would be a full-time job - and I already HAVE one of those!!"
It was a sobering thought. A place as big and complex as the Lair needed careful management, but who was going to do it? Frankly, Aby had created the place as a giant playground, she didn't fancy having to be a full-time playground monitor - she wanted to play!!
She sat there for hours, thinking. The coffee helped, as did the Danny-barista eye-candy. She knew what to do!
She met with Major Cruz, and gave her some very specific instructions. Detailed, precise, follow-to-the-letter instructions. And Major Cruz, like any good officer dealing with Major Abydos, got the okay from Colonel Nepi before proceeding. (Major Cruz had been there when Colonel Nepi and General Spadershanks found out how much Major Abydos had spent building the Lair - she didn't want to be in the firing line if this turned out to arouse the same wrath.)
But Colonel Nepi approved - she, too, had realised the need for careful managment of the Lair, and wasn't about to give up a highly skilled aide-de-camp to play concierge. The solution Major Abydos had come up with was perfect.
A few days later, Major Abydos issued another invite, a bit more informally, for members of the GGC to drop by and meet the new executive staff of the Lair. They came in droves, curious to find out who would be in charge of this wonderous new playground.
Introducing Your New Concierge
The new concierge of Aby's Lair is a specially designed clone, as are all the executive staff. This one is a "formal Danny" clone, who has been specially engineered for his politeness and discretion - the two most important qualities in a great concierge.
Concierge Danny is the man to see if you have a problem or a special need. Have a hankering for an army of Danny-clones for an impromptu waterpolo match at 3.00am? He's the man who'll find them for you. Caught your toe in the faucet of the bath, while bathing with someone special - that you DON'T want anyone to know about? He can arrange to have you extricated quietly and without fuss by very close-mouthed handymen.
He'll make sure your stay is perfect and memorable.
Head of bartending staff
Major Aby had to make sure that all the bartending staff were keeping their skills - and theie "assets" - at the peak of perfection. Who better than a former Air Force Colonel with a serious home bar?? He can mix any kind of drink, and whip your a** while doing it! Just the man to keep all those Danny-clone bartenders in line!
I see you've met my faithful . . . handyman
Heading up the handyman staff, this specially enhanced Danny-clone. Until he showed up one day, after a serendipitous accident in the Cloning Centre (yeah right! Sure I believe that one, Major Cruz!), we had been training a Sam-clone for this position. But she doesn't look anywhere as good in the uniform!!
Head of Technical Staff
Another clone who was in the running for chief handyman position until that gorgeous Danny clone turned up, we decided instead to let this Siler clone take charge of technical matters in the Lair. So if your spa isn't working, or you can't get the tv to tune in properly for those all important poker championships, Siler is your man!
Head Pool Cleaner and Gardener
This winsome little number showed up lost one day - someone had not been taking proper care of this Danny-clone! But after a prolonged stay in Colonel Nepi's Convalesecent Home for Wayward Clones, he was good as new. We were looking for a new home for him when someone noticed how much time he'd spent in the gardens at the rest home, and how good they looked. Bingo! A new career was born!
The Fish and Game Crew
With all the ponds and streams, and the ocean so close, a lot of GGC personnel have decided to take up fishing and hunting. Of course, a lot of that has to do with the propensity for Jack-clones to shake uncontrollably if placed near a body of water with fish in it and not have a fishing rod handy! But in order to preserve order, we had to set up a team to make sure that everyone was playing fair and not bagging more than their limit. So far, the team has worked out very well - while certain of the Jack-clones feel the need to go head-to-head with Ranger Jack-clone (and don't the sparks fly!), nobody want's to mess with the Teal'C-clone!
The Lead Jongleurs
The Jack-clone/Teal'C-clone combination worked so well in fish and game that, when we found out they had a certain talent for juggling, we thought they might make good lead jongleurs. A jongleur, for those who don't know, is a travelling performer. We have a certain number of them at the Beach House, to liven up a quiet night in the bar, or to entertain those who are too relaxed to entertain themselves! But they need to be managed by someone who understands the artistic mind, so, our jugglin' fools here were "it"!
The Golf Pros
A championship course awaits you, and the golf pros will help you fix that annoying problem with your swing with a little time on our specialised driving range!
The Head Waiter
Talk about a man of hidden talents!!
"Open Wide and Say AHHHHHH"
Sunburned from an afternoon on the beach? Tummy a little upset after a four course lunch? Hungover after a night of frolicking in the piano bar til the wee small hours? Doc Frasier has what it takes to cure all your ills!
In Case You Need the Comfort of a Spiritual Adviser
Father Teal'C will hear your confession and grant you absolution, no questions asked!
The Head of Housekeeping
I'll admit, we really had to tinker with this clone to get the right mix of skills for the head housekeeper, but what she lacks in domestic skills, she more than makes up for in command capabilities!
Kitchen Quality Control Team
We wouldn't want you to experience a meal here that wasn't five star quality, and this is the team who makes sure that never happens!
I'm not joking . . . He's the House Dick
Investigative abilities second to none, and discretion assured. Now, if we could just get him to give up that ridiculous hat!
The Lair Accountant
You wouldn't think it to look at the place, but there is actually an accountant in charge! A Danny-clone with an attention to detail and precision like no other. He makes sure that the GGC's money is spent wisely and that General Spadershanks receives a full accounting for every penny. He also has the ability to look remarkably innocent when anyone mentions the words, "double entry book-keeping", so I suspect he's got a double set of books on the go!