Seen in the commissary . . .
General Spadershanks sank slowly into a chair, shaking his head as he surveyed the commissary. Dear God, how had this happened, he wondered? The realisation slowly dawned on him - he knew EXACTLY how this had happened . . . and the giggling he heard in the hallway earlier today should have been the first indication that something was going to happen. He just never imagined that the something would be . . . THIS!
Colonel Nepi was on a mission, and for a mission of this magnitude, she needed . . . help. Or more properly put, she needed co-conspirators, partners in crime. She needed some naughty someones who could join her in this caper. Captain Kay was pretty busy with the Ice Palace, and Major Abydos was still sleeping after the party at the Beach House last night. Major Jackson was busy too, and Major Cruz and Major Gee were still missing in action.
Actually, Colonel Nepi realised, what she needed for this particular mission was some clone playmates, and she knew just the clones. She attempted to sneak out past Airman Michaels, but the man had an instinct for naughtiness that was uncanny.
"What are you up to, Colonel?" he asked, innocently enough.
Damn, Nepi thought - busted! Michaels would have been a welcome addition to her crew, but she had been requested by General Spadershanks to keep him confined to base, and this was an off-base job for sure. Besides, neutering or no, he still chased skirt incessantly and was a pretty disruptive influence. Good to look at, but high maintenance nonetheless. Time to pull rank.
"I have an errand to run, Michaels. I'll be back later," she said sternly and hardened her heart against the wounded look in his eyes. Perhaps later she could make it up to him - the nightly parties in the Gutter Guest House at this time of the year were just his cup of tea.
But there was no time for that now - she needed to find Janet and Sam, arrange supplies and get this road trip started!
"Okay," Nepi said an hour or so later, with a giggle. "Let's make a list and check it twice here."
"Hokey dokey," said Sam agreeably, then hiccuped. That eggnog from the beachhouse was pretty lethal, and they'd been imbibing steadily as they planned the job at hand.
Janet looked sternly at her - the effect of which was marred by the slight hint of cross-eyedness and a definite listing to starboard. "Sam, you cannot hold your eggnog!"
"Can too!" responded Sam smartly, and added a poked out tongue for good measure.
Nepi giggled and then remembered her position. "People! A little focus here," she reminded them.
Janet giggled back at her. "Like you can focus worth a damn right now!"
"Can too!" Nepi thought Sam's rejoinder had been a good one, so figured she'd use it too.
That cracked them all up, and after a fit of giggling that had them all wiping tears from their eyes, they settled down - as much as they could.
"Okay - the list," Nepi reminded them. "Transport?"
"Got a truck and a driver standing by," Sam reported.
"Cash?"
"That's my department - I've done a little "trading" through the Gate - we're loaded," Janet said, polishing her nails against her shirt in a pleased gesture.
"I have the list of locations right here," Nepi informed them, tapping her clipboard. "Is the room ready?"
"Yep," Sam said, "and I've arranged for further supplies to be waiting when we get back."
"And the accessories? Tools and stuff?" Nepi wanted to be totally prepared.
"Done and done. I even have music arranged!" Janet grinned.
"Well, apart from checking this list twice, I believe we are ready to roll. Coming?" Nepi stood up, swayed a little and headed for the door. Janet and Sam looked at one another and giggled, which set Nepi off. They headed for the elevator, giggling and laughing.
Two doors opened behind them as they passed. Airman Michaels was about to cut loose with a piercing wolf whistle when he saw General Spadershank's door open further down the corridor. He satisfied himself with a long look at the three women as they giggled and skipped away, and then went back to his desk, wondering idly just what Nepi was up to - with giggling like that, and in the company of Janet and Sam, it would have to be naughty!
General Spadershanks heard the giggling and opened the door to check what was going on. He was just in time to see Colonel Nepi, Sam and Janet pile into the elevator, giggling very loudly and trying - unsuccessfully - to be inconspicuous. He was tempted to haul them all back from wherever it was they were going, just to make sure that nothing untoward happened (as it often did when they were together) but the "red" phone rang and he was diverted. Oh well, he consoled himself, they couldn't go through the gate at the moment. How much trouble could they get into on-base?
Well, now he knew EXACTLY how much trouble they could get into on-base. Loads of it.
The commissary was decorated for Christmas. EXTREMELY decorated. There was not a square inch of the place not covered in glitter, tinsel or fake snow. The tables groaned under the weight of assorted Santas, sleighs and reindeers, with cherubs, angels and plastic snowmen thrown in for good measure.
There was a huge Christmas tree in one corner, leaning a bit to be sure, but covered in more lights than the Rockefeller Centre and dangling dangerously with glass baubles and icicles.
A number of rather clumsily wrapped parcels were strewn under the tree. He guessed the wrapping of said parcels had occurred when the level of eggnog in the huge vat in the corner had gotten pretty low down.
And the culprits were still in residence - since they were all snoring, he figured they wouldn't be going anywhere fast. Nepi, Janet and Sam were sitting on the floor opposite the Christmas tree, all liberally decorated with tinsel themselves. Janet wore a rather perky Santa hat, while Sam sported a white beard. Nepi herself was wearing two very gaudy baubles as earrings.
Judging from the empty eggnog cups nearby, they had relaxed on the floor to survey their handiwork and have (another) celebratory drink when they'd all passed out - he'd be lucky if any of them were compos tomorrow, he thought, catching a whiff of the 200-proof eggnog.
He switched off the CD player, which had been blaring out Christmas music, and wondered what to do with the three disgraces. He couldn't just leave them there - it would put people off their coffee!
He walked over to the phone on the wall and called for a couple of medics to pick up Janet and Sam to put them to bed in the infirmary. While they were being taken care of, he bent down to pick up Colonel Nepi and take her back to their quarters.
"'lo General," she murmured as he bent down to pick her up.
"Hello Nepi," he said softly. "You've been a busy girl, haven't you?"
"Wanted to make the place Christmassy, make everyone happy," she said as she wound her arms around his neck.
"Well, it's certainly Christmassy. Where did you get all this stuff?"
"We wen' shopping - lots of places got nice Christmas decorations. Then we put them up - me an' Janet an' Sam."
"Yes, you did. And you had eggnog while you worked?"
"Well, you have to get in the Christmas spirit," she protested.
"Did you have to get in quite so much of it!?"
"Aby makes good eggnog - be an insult not to drink it."
The General made a note to tell Major Abydos that she was no longer to sell her lethal eggnog by anything other than the glass - and certainly not by the vat!
As he carried her to the door, he stopped to turn out the lights. But the room was not dark - not by a long shot. Fairy lights gleamed and twinkled from everywhere. In this light, it was no longer the garish display he had seen earlier - now it was truly a winter wonderland.
"Oh Nepi," he said quietly.
"Merry Christmas General."
Here's hoping that all of you are getting into the Christmas spirit!