Wicca and Parts of My Book Of Shadows

    I am Kekarnyek, which is Hungarian for Blue Shadow.   I have been involved in studies of wicca for some time now, and have been amazed at the guidance from unexpected sources that have come my way and effected my life with positive, loving energy.  Even my given name, Kekarnyek, was told to me many times & in many ways, but I turned from it out of ignorance.  I believed the reference to "shadow" was a bad thing that referred to the shadow side which each of us has as part of who we are, but I learned from other wiccans and through angelic guidance that "shadow" refers to my close existence on both sides of reality at once.  My normal path in this incarnation leads me to walk the fine line that separates the physical plane from the spiritual planes, hence I am always casting a "shadow" of myself in each.  As a result, part of me is on both sides at once.  And blue is a color of spirit.  Hence, blue shadow.
     I have been directed toward paths I could never have foreseen or planned, but these directives have been abundant and well timed.  They led me in directions that furthered my knowledge of the craft and perfected my solo practice.  Many times, these directives created more questions as well, but they were always soon answered by, again, unexpected sources. 
     As time went on I learned to become an observer in my own life and simply trust the Universe and wait to see what will happen next.  Once done, I sensed when it was time to take over and run with whatever had been presented to me, do with it what I could, then rest and wait to see what might come next..  Through all of this I have been mellowed and pleased with the many surprises I've been blessed  with; and very grateful.  I've also learned that I am the dreamer of my life and what I want it to be, but not in total control of the way those dreams might manifest.  If I make it clearly known to the Goddess that this is my desire, then allow her to place the blocks in the proper order for me to walk, those dreams come to life much quicker than if I try to plan it all out on my own.  I am in human form and, therefore, faulty.  Only spirit is perfect is its form and can show us the best way to achieve those things we are here to achieve.  Through meditation and open hearts and minds we are able to connect with our Creator, then listen and trust in the ultimate Wisdom that emerges.  In this way, we are taught by the Master of all life and all forms of existence.  This, in itself, is an incredible gift, but one we must be open to receive and accept as the truth of what it is.  This is the teaching I have sought.

In Hope

You are the moon
and I am the waters of the ocean.
How easy it would be
to allow your actions to effect my life,
like the oceans and moon,
our heavenly counterparts.
Like the ocean needs the moon,
I need you to calm my life.
But, you do not allow me near you.
You act as the moon,
pushing and pulling
until my life is like story waters.
I wait for the calm
in hope.


By Sonserra V. Hayden

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Photo by Jim Rhoads Photographer - Fort McCoy, FL

    I have discovered the power of desire in attaining those things we truly seek for our lives.  All it takes is the thought, the spoken desire, and the initial action to prove your intent and the universe will join you and, many times, take over completely in helping you achieve your desires.  This is true spellwork at its best.  Spellwork is not simply casting spells over a cauldron while mixing a concoction of ingredients and burning candles while wearing black.  Black is actually a color of safety and protection.  True spellwork is understanding one's true connection to all things and using that connection through deep intentions voiced clearly either vocally or through one's mind, heart, or intentions.  It only needs to be clear to the one who is requesting these intentions with no doubt that what is desired will come to be.  So many of our spiritual leaders have  understood this concept so clearly that their spellwork was unquestionable, but also, terribly misunderstood by the common man.  Prayer, meditation, affirmations, are all forms of spellwork.  And there are also many others including work with herbs, candles, and colors.  None of these things should be discarded.  Rather, they should all be embraced together and accepted as tools for us to use.  Even a painter will only use those tools that are comfortable in creating their chosen form of art.  Not every painter uses watercolors. Some paint with oils, but the end results of all painters are what they intend them to be.
     I have found the strength of female energy through my devotion to the Blessed Mother and the interaction of other women and can see why the covens have always held such mystique.  But, for the most part, I still prefer to practice alone.  My birth sign is Taurus which causes me to need control over all my own actions, including my own creative energy and how it manifests.  I still write my own "spells" when a spell is even necessary, and still perform my own rituals according to the lunar calendar and when its strength & disposition is in agreement with the chosen ends I am working toward.  As a result, I am more one with nature than I have ever been.   I've learned to hear the activity in the woods and the world clearer than those around me.   But don't mistake my use of the terms "spells."  As I said, spells take many forms, including prayer, etc.
     For those interested in the craft, my sole advice is to work from your heart, your spirit, your truth.  Begin by knowing who you are..............truly.  Don't be daunted by religion and don't be afraid.  All religions are beneficial to us and connected in key, basic areas.  One creator, regardless of the name one chooses to call that entity, existes in all religions.  That is the basis of our existence and mankind's attempts to make sense of it all.  In truth, it is very simple........we are all part of a whole and must, therefore, work together to protect is all.  That means understanding the truth of it, not the man-made truth that we choose to fool ourselves into believing, but the real truth; the truth that goes on with or without physical proof of its existence.
     Study, ask questions, welcome guidance, and listen.  Trust in your heart and believe what your spirit shows you.  Prayer is when you ask the questions.  Meditation is when you accept the answers.  This will be your strongest teacher.

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