|January 31, 2002
By my count I have just about 10 more days to go before as they say "I go under the knife". As I posted last time my emotions are all over the place. One second I'm all excited and looking forward to discovering the new me. Then the next second I am a scared little girl and want my Mommy! I find I am drawing more and more into myself as the time draws near. Building up the good stuff I'm gonna need to get thru this. There are a lot of friends who have asked , "Are you about ready? or How'ya doin, gettin excited." And I really don't know what to say to them. I am excited and then again I am kinda wishing there was another way to achieve the same outcome without having to have my insides rearranged. I know this is for the best. I know I have to do "something" so I can still maintain some form of a life instead of become a lump in bed or worse. Well, at least I will be asleep and won't know what is going on. God has bought me so far and seen me thru so many trails to get to this place, He will continue to be there with me through it all.
|February 10th, 2002
We are in Las Vegas, NV. At Vicki and Rogerís guesthouse. I am a bundle of nerves and loose ends. Sitting and staring at the TV, watching a familiar show and not really seeing what I am watching or absorbing a word of the dialog. My mind and energies are on tomorrow morning at 9:00 am.
I have had my last meal, Mexican Food, last cotton candy, last real cookies, and so forth. I have talked with our son and daughter in law and tell them both how very much they are loved.
I am so scared but I am at peace with my decision.
I humbly ask God to be with all who are having any surgery tomorrow and to please watch over everyone.
|This concludes my Pre-Surgery Journey
Click Here to Check out "The Big Day - My Surgery "
Click Here to Go to "Journal 2"
|Journal 1 - Before Surgery (continued)|